“I don’t want her.”
I open my mouth to tell him he obviously doesn’t want me either considering what he did, but his lips hover over my ear and he whispers, “I passed out in the hot tub. I don’t remember her climbing in. Hell, I don’t remember anything that happened after I found the bottle of Jack Daniels. But I didn’t fuck her.”
“Gee,” I scoff. “Sounds awfully familiar. How am I supposed to believe you when I know for a fact we hooked up and you can’t remember that either?”
I try to get out of his hold, but he tightens his arms around me. “Because I’ve never felt about her the way I feel about you. Or anyone else for that matter.”
“You sure have a funny way of showing it, Covington.”
“Give me another chance, Church.”
“I did. Look how well that turned out.”
“You want me to beg?”
“No. I want you to leave.”
“Get down on my hands and knees and apologize?”
“Don’t bother.”
His voice drops to a whisper. “Tell me what to do to fix this, Sawyer.”
“You can’t.” I hate the tears stinging my eyes. The pain punching my heart. How I still care about him even though he hurt me so damn much. “It’s over. The deal between us is off.”
“No, it’s not.”
“You humiliated me in front of everyone. Not just with Casey, but with all the hurtful, mean things you said. Maybe the other girls you’ve been with have no self-respect, but I do.”
“Let me fix it.”
“You can’t.”
“I can try.”
My heart slams against my ribcage. “Why, so you can fuck up again? Do you think I’m made of steel, Colton? How many times do you think I can survive you hurting me like this?”
“That was the last time.” He skims his nose along my neck, inhaling me. “I promise.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I’m keeping this one. I don’t care what it takes or what I have to do. We are not fucking over.”
“You’re right,” I choke out. “We’re not over.” Turning my head, I look up at him. “We can’t be over when we never even started.”
“Give me one more chance,” he growls.
My heart twists, wanting so desperately to give him what he’s asking for.
“Why won’t you just leave?”
I can’t think clearly when he’s holding me like I’m his lifeline and asking for a second chance.
“Because losing you isn’t an option for me.”
He sounds so convincing. Like he actually gives a shit about me instead of losing his million-dollar car.
“Then you should have thought about that before you got drunk and destroyed us.”
Us. God, I’m so stupid. There was never an us.
“You’re right,” he agrees. “But I wasn’t thinking. I was…Stone…” His voice trails off. “It doesn’t fucking matter.”
Let me be the judge of that. “What did he do?”
Whatever it is, it won’t take away what Cole did. But at least it will give me some kind of understanding as to his state of mind before he decided to pour gasoline on this thing between us and light it on fire.
“I told you, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is getting you back.”
“Getting me back so you don’t lose the bet,” I grit through my teeth.
“No. But if that’s what you really think, it’s fine.” He releases his hold on me. “Because I’m gonna prove you wrong.” The determination in his voice is unwavering. “I will fix this, Sawyer.”
Good Lord. I’ve never met anyone more stubborn in my life.
There’s no point in arguing with him anymore. It’s just easier to let him think what he wants so he’ll leave.
“Fine. Whatever.” I point to the window. “Go.”
Chapter 51
Sawyer
On Monday my locker was filled with long stem roses.
Tuesday, it was five pounds of chocolates.
Which of course were my favorite kind and so hard to throw away.
Which I did after Oakley grabbed a heaping handful of them, that is.
Oakley rubs his hands. “What do you think it will be today?”
I’m not sure, but I really hope it’s not a food item again. I’ve managed to lose another five pounds and I don’t want to be tempted.
With a grunt, I open my locker.
Dammit. Cole knows my weakness.
Oakley raises an eyebrow. “Is that—”
“Nick Jonas,” I sigh. “Sure is.”
And he’s autographed. Damn him. Damn him straight to hell.
Cole, not Nick. Nick is perfect.
But just like the rest of the stuff Cole tries to buy me off with…Nick too, must go.
“There’s an envelope,” Oakley notes.
I hand it to him. “Knock yourself out.”
He happily opens it…then pouts. “It’s just some concert tickets.” He shrugs. “Front row, though.”
I actually whimper.
It’s going to be so fucking hard to throw these in the garbage.
“You have to do it for me,” I tell him. “I don’t have the strength.”
He snorts. “Happily.”
“Wait.” I pet the glossy picture. “Don’t hurt him too much. He’s so pretty.”
Oakley rolls his eyes. “You know you could just accept his gifts…and then, you know…accept his apology and give him another chance.”
“Oh, God. Not you too.” It’s bad enough I have Bianca pleading his case every time she sees me, now Oakley?
He shrugs innocently. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I’ve never seen him so miserable.”
“Good. Now he knows how it feels.”
“He swore off drinking for the rest of his life.”
“Great. He should swear off being an asshole for the rest of his life too.”
“Sawyer, he didn’t mean to hurt you. He has a lot of issues.”
And if only he’d tell me those issues and help me understand why he is the way he is, and why he does the things he does…I’d think about giving him the second chance he wants.
But he won’t.
Because that’s not Cole.
“The fact that you know his issues and I don’t is a big part of the problem.” I say a silent goodbye to Nick. It sucks our time together was so short. “He can’t buy me off. If he wants me to accept his apology, he has to give me a reason to…and the only way he can do that is by giving me the real him. Because that’s the only Cole I’m interested in forgiving.” I slam my locker door shut. “As far as I’m concerned, Lucky Seven can go fuck himse—”
“I take it you didn’t like the concert tickets?” Cole questions behind me.
I glare at him. “Stop with the presents. Presents aren’t what I want.”
“Then what do you want?”
“The fact that you still don’t know is just...sad.”