Not that I’m complaining about losing thirty-one pounds in three and a half months.
“I don’t th—”
“Sawyer Grace, don’t you stop now. You should aim for another ten pounds…at least.” Mama shrugs when we all look at her. “What? Everyone knows the camera adds ten pounds. You want to look good for pictures, don’t you?”
She’s right. “I—”
“I don’t think you need to lose any more weight,” Dylan says. “You were perfect before and you’re perfect now.”
I give her a smile, feeling grateful she agreed to come with me.
Dealing with Mama without any backup can be…difficult.
Mama pats Dylan’s leg again. “She is such a good friend.”
“If I only lose five more pounds, would you still be able to alter the size ten?”
I honestly don’t know how I’d lose more than that.
Unless I up my dosage a little.
“Of course,” the lady says. “It won’t be an issue at all. Heck, you can even gain a few pounds. We’ll just let the seams out a little.”
Yeah, I definitely don’t want to gain anything. I’m just starting to feel good about myself.
“What if I lost more than five pounds?”
She mulls this over for a moment before she answers. “Well, it’s different for everyone. Usually ten to fifteen pounds will drop someone an entire dress size. But you’re so short, it’s…” Her voice drifts off, but I read her loud and clear.
Girls over five-foot-four are much thinner compared to someone who’s only five feet.
“Order the eight.”
I make a mental note to hit up Oakley for more pills later.
Chapter 66
Sawyer
I trace his eyebrow with my finger. “When did you know football was what you wanted to do with your life?”
Since I have the night off, we’re spending a lazy Sunday in his bed.
And sulking over the fact that neither of us has heard back from Duke’s Heart yet.
He doesn’t even think about it before replying, “The second Jace placed one in my hands.”
“So it was love at first sight.”
He grins. “Pretty much.”
He traces little circles up and down my spine. “When did you know being a teacher was what you wanted to do with yours?”
“I don’t,” I admit.
His brows furrow. “But I thought—”
“I mean, I definitely want to be a teacher,” I clarify. “I’m just not sure I want to be a science teacher.”
“What subject would you rather teach?”
There’s no point in telling him because it’s not going to happen.
“Doesn’t matter. And I don’t want you to laugh at me.”
“I’m not going to laugh at you…unless you tell me it’s clown school.”
That actually makes me laugh. “My feet aren’t that big.” I avert my gaze. “If I had my way, I’d be a music teacher for kids.”
Unlike my mother, I’d encourage them to pursue their dreams…no matter what they looked like.
“Who says you can’t?”
“It’s not very practical, Cole. More and more schools are getting rid of their music departments.”
He props himself up on his elbow. “Not all of them. Besides, you could always teach privately.”
I think about this for a moment, but decide that’s even more impractical. “No. I’ll just stick with the plan.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “What’s the plan?”
“Become a science teacher. Marry a nice southern man who’s involved with the church and have one child…because more than one will make you broke. Not to mention—fat.”
I can thank my mother for that little tidbit.
“That sounds like a boring ass plan.”
I roll over until I’m facing his ceiling. “Blame my parents. They’ve been shoving that plan down my throat for years.”
“You don’t have to follow it. You could always make a new plan.”
A laugh flies out. “I guess…but my plan isn’t that much different from theirs…except…” Nope, definitely not telling him that. “Never mind.”
Never one to let things go, Cole laces his fingers through mine. “You know you have to tell me now, right?”
I sigh. Yup. Sometimes it’s just easier to give the stubborn ass what he wants.
“Fine. In my ideal life, I’d be a music teacher.” I look at him. “Marry someone who’s so in love with me he’ll always fight for us…no matter how hard it gets.” Because I don’t want to be like my parents. “And I don’t just want one baby…I want many babies.”
At that, his eyebrows shoot up. “How many?”
I grin as I think about skinned knees, kisses, bedtime stories, and loving each and every one of them so much my heart could burst.
“Four…at least.”
He blows out a breath. “Damn. That is a lot.” He frowns. “But with so many of them…one is bound to feel left out and neglected. Especially if they aren’t your favorite.”
I can’t help but wonder if that’s how he felt growing up? As if Liam—and the rest of his siblings—were more important than he was.
I can’t say I don’t understand, but fortunately for me, I only have one sister to compete with.
Catherine’s obviously my mom’s favorite, but I’ve always known I’m secretly my dad’s. Or rather…was.
Either way, I was still lucky enough to feel loved by one parent.
Something tells me Cole’s never felt that.
And God how much that sucks…because his mother gave birth to an incredible human being.
It’s a shame she wasn’t alive to witness it.
But not nearly as shameful as her not valuing him for who he was while she was still here.
Shifting slightly, I run my thumb over his cheekbone. “Children aren’t dolls or movies. You shouldn’t favor one over the other. They’d each get an equal piece of my heart and soul.”
The way it should be.
Bringing my hand up to his mouth, he kisses the inside of my wrist. “You’ll be an amazing mom, Sawyer.” The look he gives me cuts right down to my marrow. “Not anytime soon, but…eventually.”
My heart is pounding so fast I feel like I just ran a marathon.
I don’t know if that’s his way of saying he sees us together for the long-haul like I do…or insinuating it will happen after we’re over and we’ve both moved on.
However, the sharp pang in my heart tells me I’ll never move on from Colton Covington.
He’s not just under my skin…he’s buried so deep inside me I no longer know where I end and he begins.
I’ve never been the type of person to beat around the bush, so I cut right to the chase. “Do you want that life…with me?”
His eyes go so big I’m afraid they might pop out of his head. “I’m gonna go order us some food.” He hops off the bed like he’s been burned. “In the mood for anything in particular?”