Yeah. Him to stop acting like I just asked if he wanted to become serial killers and begin our first string of murders tonight.
“I’m not hungry.”
“I’ll get you something anyway.” Phone in hand, he starts walking to the door. “Be right back.”
I open my mouth to ask him why he needs to walk away to order food…but he’s already gone.
Chapter 67
Cole
Do I have feelings for Sawyer? Hell yes.
Do I want to spend the rest of my life with her and have babies? I have no fucking clue.
I’m only eighteen for fuck’s sake. I don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow, let alone five years from now.
Christ. Why do girls have to make everything so goddamn complicated?
Besides, there’s a huge, glaring flaw in her plan for us.
We can’t possibly have this big, bright future together she wants when it’s based on lies.
I might not know where we’ll end up in five years, but I do know I’m not willing to give her up now.
Hell, I’m not sure I’ll ever be willing to give her up.
I bring my phone to my ear, intending to order a shitload of junk food, because Sawyer’s been losing even more weight lately and I don’t fucking like it—but my screen lights up with an incoming call.
I don’t recognize the number, but I want to buy myself some more time before I join the fairytale land upstairs.
“Hello?”
“Hello, this is Coach Jenkins over at Duke’s Heart. I’m looking for Cole Covington.”
I nearly drop the phone out of my hand. “Speaking.”
Raising my fist in the air, I let out a silent cheer. Finally.
About damn time he called.
“As I’m sure you know, you’ve had a phenomenal season this year,” he begins. “Therefore, I’m just gonna get straight to the point of this phone call. We’d like to offer you a place on our team as the starting quarterback. Full ride, of course. Our QB will be graduating and we need someone that can take over and play from day one.”
Hell motherfucking yes. “That’s me. I’m your man.”
Todd Harris can suck my sweaty balls.
“Glad to hear it. When Todd Harris turned us down for Ohio, we thought we were screwed.”
The thing beating in my chest stalls.
Todd turned them down?
“Hello?” he says over the line. “Shit. I think we have a bad connection. I’ll give you a call next week.”
The phone goes dead, but it doesn’t register.
I wasn’t their first choice.
I’m never anyone’s first choice.
Chapter 68
Sawyer
I’m walking out of the bathroom when I notice a partially open door down the hall.
Thinking it must be Bianca, I head that direction so I can say hey.
I feel like an idiot when I realize it’s not her after all…it’s no one.
I’m about to turn and leave when I notice the big block letters above a shelf.
Liam.
My conscience says I have no business being in this room and I should walk away.
But my curiosity is too strong to override it.
Cole won’t talk about him…ever.
And Dylan and Jace talk about him like he was a saint…which isn’t very useful because it does nothing to help me understand why Liam and Cole didn’t get along.
Usually you can get a sense about someone by their room…what things they like, the kind of stuff they’re into, the kind of personality they might have.
There’s a sharp prick of sadness the moment I step inside Liam’s.
It looks like the typical room of any thirteen-year-old boy.
A life that was over way too soon.
Heaviness fills my chest as I take in the green comforter and pillows on the bed.
Cole said it was their favorite color.
I wander over to the desk. There are some Post-its, highlighters, and a few notepads full of notes.
Like me, Liam took school seriously.
We even had the same scientific calculator…and a map of the solar system above our desk.
I smile when I spot the periodic table of elements.
I remember learning it when I was in seventh grade…and then rushing to make a photocopy at the library later that day so I could jump ahead and memorize every one.
I wonder if he did the same.
Too bad I’ll never know.
Wandering over to his dresser, the first thing I notice is the lack of dust.
Someone comes in here and cleans.
There’s something so tragic about that. As if they’re trying to preserve his memory.
Hoping he’ll come back home one day.
My eyes linger on a picture in a frame.
With shaky fingers, I pick it up. It’s the Covingtons. All of them. In what must have been much happier times.
I knew Cole’s mother was a Bollywood dancer, and therefore beautiful, but I’m still taken back by how breathtaking she was.
And how much Bianca resembles her.
My gaze travels to their father next. He’s tall, easily towering over six feet. Must be where Cole and Jace get their height from.
He’s also very good looking. Almost too good looking.
Whereas Jace has features from both his parents, and Bianca clearly favors her mother…Cole is the spitting image of his dad with his striking green eyes and fair skin.
I can’t help but notice the way they’re lined up in the photo. Bianca—who’s still a toddler in the picture—is being held by her mother, and all three boys are on the floor. Liam and Cole—who are dressed so similarly, I honestly can’t tell them apart—are sitting on opposite sides of Jace…both sporting scowls.
Like they couldn’t stand to be next to one another.
I’m about to put the picture back when I spot a Bible on the dresser. Cole isn’t religious, and neither Jace nor Bianca have ever mentioned religion before, so it’s surprising.
Not to mention, it isn’t something you’d typically find in the bedroom of a thirteen-year-old boy.
I can’t help but notice that one of the pages is bookmarked.
Holding the frame in one hand, I open it.
My heart skips when I realize the bookmark is a picture of two precious identical babies in a crib…holding hands while they sleep.
It’s such a beautiful moment captured.
I’m about to close it, when I notice there’s a scripture circled.
‘If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.’
—1 John 4:20-21
The phrase ‘hates his brother’ is underlined.
My eyes well with tears. The once beautiful picture now feels tarnished somehow.
The scripture itself is a reminder that we should all love one another. But given the picture, the underlining, the relationship he had with his twin…I could see how one might take it very literally.
Especially if they’re grieving and searching for answers.
An eerie feeling burrows in my gut.