Prologue
Ryker
“If you’d rather not, then we can stop.” It pained me to say that, to even consider stopping. Yet, I refused to pressure him. No matter how much I wanted to take his face in my hands again to kiss him until he was breathless and begging me to continue.
He’s going to say no. He’s going to say he hates it. Cut your losses now and walk away.
I should have stopped when he laughed. I should have moved away, let him go. I should never have even started it. But now I’d had a tiny taste from the briefest kiss I’d ever experienced. Hell, that tiny kiss left me breathless and wanting to beg for more. A craving burned within me, one that both surprised and terrified me.
The wait for his response was excruciating. It didn’t take a genius to know Avery had lost himself in his thoughts, likely debating his choice of snarky words to end this fiasco I’d started. The longer he took, the more sure I was of his answer.
When he finally looked as though he were about to respond, I braced myself for him to demand we stop as he spat out how awful kissing me truly was. This is the end of this nonsense.
I braced myself so much, that when a voice I would have never placed as Avery’s said, “Please, just kiss me.” I almost choked on the air wheezing from my lungs.
Resting one hand on his face, I tilted his head back so I could see his full expression, to look right down into his soul seeking a single shred of doubt, anything to stop this train wreck from happening. God knew I didn’t have the strength to stop it on my own.
I found nothing.
Swallowing back a low, guttural groan at my lack of control, I pressed my lips to his again. The moment our mouths touched, lightning shot through my veins, my energy crackling to life. It became a demon taking over to possess me. My thumb brushed against his jawline with each sweep of my lips. No scruff on his soft skin. So different from my own.
An Avery I didn’t know melted into me, his hands settling on my chest. Did he know he trembled? Did he realize I could feel the shaking of his hands against my bare, damp skin? The heat from my recent shower didn’t compare to the intense burn that hovered just beneath my skin.
When he leaned into me more, I gave into my desire and thrust my tongue past his lips. He met me with his own. Another surprise. Our tongues tangled together as if they’d always known one another.
I lost myself so completely into the kiss I didn’t notice him stiffen. I didn’t notice when the small trembles turned into violent quakes. Had I noticed, I could have prepared myself for the broken emotions the second he shoved me away from him. I’d never seen this kind of terror on Avery’s face before. He’d been afraid, but this was something new.
It was a terror I knew I’d caused. My heart pinched in pain as I stumbled backward from his hard push. Something inside me shattered, tearing apart all the pleasure I’d just experienced. It left an emptiness behind that threatened to overtake my soul.
The train wreck was worse than I ever imagined it would be. And all I could do was helplessly call his name while watching him disappear into the bedroom we shared, the door slamming closed behind him.
My own inner voice mixed with Avery’s. You’re one stupid fucking human, Ryker.
Somehow, I found my ability to move and hurried after him. I knocked softly on the door. “Avery,” I called out to him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked to kiss you.”
I heard him shuffling around, felt the door shudder against his weight. My voice shook harder than it had at any point in my life, including the moment I first saw Midge’s crumpled body. Whatever fragile connection I’d gained with Avery, it now lay in tatters at my feet.
“Please, Avery. Forgive me.”
The only response: Silence.
1
Ryker
One week later
After another useless trip to scavenge the attic, all I wanted was a cold beer. But when I found none in the fridge, I went for Frank’s scotch tucked away in his not-so-secret hideaway. He thought he was so clever hiding his precious bottles of scotch in the cabinet beneath the sink where Midge kept her cleaning products.
Sorry, Frank. You gotta share with me today.
I retrieved the open bottle of scotch, poured myself a small glass, and took it with me to the living room also known as the place I’d been sleeping since that disaster of a kiss.
The room felt so empty without Midge bustling about, tidying up the already tidied. Really, the whole house had a melancholy aura about it without her presence.
The weight of everything pressed down against me. The attack, the dance at the club, the kiss that followed. And worst of all, the days of silence between Avery and I. He hadn’t spoken to me since he’d run off. His refusal to talk to me floated through my mind. He’d locked himself up tight, and after the first two days of pleading, I finally gave up.
I plopped down on the sofa, taking a sip from the glass. Guilt riddled me at everything. If I hadn’t returned to Midge and Frank with a serial killer hot on my heels, they’d never have been targets. Midge would be swatting Frank’s hand as he rummaged for snacks right before dinner, not laid out in a hospital bed. Silent and unmoving.
If I hadn’t insisted we go to River Bank to find Adara, I wouldn’t have showed off my pathetic ability to dance. Avery might not have felt the need to teach me differently. I wouldn’t have realized how good it felt to have him in my arms, there of his own free will. If I hadn’t suggested the kissing experiment, if I hadn’t given in to my desires to taste Avery, he’d be in the room with me now... sassing away at something on the television he found utterly ridiculous.
If I hadn’t...
I shook my head to clear away all the ifs. Only one if meant anything right now. If I didn’t do something, I’d lose it all.
Would Frank be next? How could I protect him when I couldn't find the source of the danger in the first place? He forced me to leave the hospital, though it hadn’t been that hard. I’d been hellbent on finding Emerret. Finding him to destroy him. Rage replaced the despair bubbling in my chest.
The witch would discover I wasn’t a man to mess with. You hurt those I loved, those I cared about, and I’d be the same monster that hurt you in return.
I just had to find him. For days, I’d focused my energy on pouring over all the books in the attic again. I’d read through them at least a dozen times each, taking copious amounts of notes that amounted to absolutely nothing.
I was no closer to figuring shit out than I had been. I eyed the pile of books still on the coffee table, the old, scratched up wood a backdrop to my failures. I was out of options, out of ideas.
I startled when my phone rang, nearly dropping the glass in my hand. Picking up my cell, I saw Zane’s name on the screen. We’d kept in touch daily, going over everything together. He’d update me on Midge first, then we’d start rehashing the same fucking things over and over again.
“‘Lo?” I grunted in greeting.
“Oh boy, someone’s in a mood today. Trouble in paradise with the kitten vamp?”
I swallowed the rest of the contents of the glass, set it on the table, and leaned against the sofa’s back cushion.