"That's right, you're not thinking. She needs to talk to him without you spreading your two cents all over the room. This is between them."
"But—"
Sierra ignored her and called back. "J.J., I'm counting on you to not be a dick because you're usually not. Don't start now."
I closed my eyes again and shook my head, tears rising in my throat. In the short time I'd been working for those two, somehow we'd actually become more than employer and employee, we'd become friends. It made my chest hurt, but in a good way.
My eyelids sprang open when the bathroom door shut and J.J. engaged the lock with a quiet click.
He remained by the door, leaning back against it, and I briefly wondered if it was so I couldn't escape the conversation that was coming.
He crossed his arms over his chest, which made me wilt inside. His body language was closed off, as was his face.
"How far along are you?" he finally asked.
"I'm estimating ten or eleven weeks based on my last period, which I'm not one hundred percent sure on the dates since it was so long ago."
"What does your doctor say?" he asked. "Usually they can tell you, right?"
I shrugged. "Probably, but I haven't seen a doctor yet."
He straightened. "Why not?" Then, his eyes focused on me, laser-bright, and I couldn't control my flinch. "Cam said you were asking about insurance. You don't have any, do you?"
I shook my head. "I'll get something figured out before I need to go to the doctor in the next few weeks."
This time it was J.J. that shook his head. "No. Even if Cam could get you insurance through the shop, it would take thirty to ninety days for it to be active."
"I know, but I can pay for the doctor visits out-of-pocket until then. It'll be difficult, but I can manage—"
"And what am I supposed to do while you scrape together the pennies to see a doctor? Twiddle my thumbs? Maybe take up knitting?"
I flinched again at the hard tone in his voice. This was exactly what I'd been afraid of. Anger radiated in every line of his body now. I could see it.
"Stop cringing away from me, dammit," he said, but the heat was out of his voice now.
He sounded defeated.
I wanted to cry. I'd been so worried about myself and what I was going to do that I hadn't even thought about how this would affect him. Well, I had, but that's why I'd been avoiding this very conversation. I knew he was going to be upset.
"I've only known for about a week and a half," I confessed. "I'm still getting used to the idea myself. I honestly didn't know if I could handle whatever your reaction might be."
Despite my battle against them, the tears trickled down my cheeks.
"I was afraid you'd be angry with me, blame me, and—"
Suddenly, J.J. was right there, in my space. He hugged me and I leaned in, holding onto him for all I was worth.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whispered. "Please don't cry."
"I'm okay, just emotional," I answered, my voice breaking at the end of the statement. "Apparently, it's hormones and it only gets worse."
He chuckled, the vibration humming beneath my cheek where it rested against his chest.
"I didn't realize that you just found out," he said. "You didn't notice you'd missed a period?"
I shrugged. "Sometimes, when I'm stressed out or really busy, I miss periods anyway, so I didn't think anything of it."
His arms tightened around me. "I'm sorry."
I lifted my head and looked up at him. "For what? Getting me pregnant? Like I told Cam, it took both of us. I'm not sure how it happened, but it is what it is."
He grimaced. "Don't say that in front of Cam and Sierra. They hate that saying."
I smiled. "I know."
He grinned back at me then grew serious. "Be honest with me. Are you thinking about giving up the baby or terminating?"
I shook my head. "No. I always wanted kids. Maybe not now and definitely not this way." I saw his face close up and I smacked his chest lightly. "I mean while I wasn't married, Jay. Don't look like that."
He stared down at me in silence for a long moment and said, "You don't have to do this alone. We can get married this weekend."
I shook my head. "That's not why I said that. It wasn't a hint!"
I tried to pull away, but he kept his hold on me.
"I know it wasn't. You're too much of a straight shooter for that. But it would solve a lot of the biggest issues, right? I can put you on my insurance immediately once we're married. I'd be able to help with medical bills. You could quit your cleaning jobs and focus on school and working here. And I could help you when you needed it during the pregnancy. And once the baby is born, I want to be there. I—." He cleared his throat. "I don't want to miss anything."
Oh, the evil man. He was softening me with his lists. Somehow, he knew exactly what to say to get me to consider this craziness.
"I don't know, Jay. I need to think about it."
He squeezed my waist lightly. "I know you do. But please don't think too long. You need to go see a doctor. I'll pay for it."
Someone knocked on the door. Well, it was more like someone beat on the door with a fist, making us both jump.
"You okay, Lee?" Cam called. "Do I need to beat on my brother for you?"
I laughed. "I'm fine."
"Good. You're coming to lunch on Sunday. Be there at twelve-thirty so Mom can grill you before she grills the lamb chops for lunch at one."
My eyes widened. "What?"
"You're going to be involved in this family when you have my niece or nephew, whether J.J. likes it or not, so it's better to start early. This way, Mom and Dad will be on your side and disown him if he screws up. I've always wanted a sister."
J.J. shook his head. "You have to marry me, if nothing else to save me from her and my mother."
I patted his shoulder, intentionally aiming for patronizing. "You're a big boy. You'll survive."
His eyes locked on mine and suddenly I was hot all over. He wasn't looking at me with that tender concern of earlier. No, he was staring at me like he was thinking about kissing me until I did whatever he wanted.
Not that it would be difficult to do.
I knew that all it would take was one kiss and I'd be toast.
"J.J., unhand my assistant manager. She's on the clock."
The moment was effectively destroyed, which was probably for the best.
Otherwise, I would have ended up engaged and married before Sunday lunch with the McClanes.
7
My resolve took another hit that night when I got home from work.
It was nearly nine and when the headlights hit the front porch, I saw J.J. sitting on the swing, a brown paper bag from the local grocery store next to him.
By the time I'd pulled under the carport and gotten out of my car, he was standing by my rear bumper.
"Hey," he greeted, as if this was an everyday occurrence.
"Hey. Um, what are you doing here?" I asked.