There were nerves there. I worried that I would do something he didn't like. Or that he would realize I was a virgin and call the whole thing off.
But that was unlikely to happen. It was only in the most technical sense that I was a virgin.
I may not have had sex with a man before, but I had purchased a couple of toys when I'd moved into my own home.
As long as I lived with my parents, I wouldn't have dared. If my brothers had found my discreet vibrator or the extremely life-like dildo I'd purchased, they would have tormented me endlessly and without mercy.
The only thing that might give away my inexperience was how I responded to him. How I touched him.
I didn't have time to ponder it any longer because there was my driveway, up ahead on the left.
I flicked on my blinker and turned into it, following the long, winding gravel drive for nearly a quarter-mile until it stopped at the carport on the side of what was once my grandmother's house but now belonged to me.
I parked the car and shut it off. I stared out the windshield and took a couple of deep breaths before I climbed out. J.J. was getting out of his truck as well and he came around the front of his vehicle toward me.
"I didn't realize your grandmother left you her house," he said.
I shrugged. "I was surprised, too, but my mom and brothers didn't seem to mind, so I moved in when I graduated with my bachelor's." I took my keys out of my clutch. "Follow me."
J.J. was a solid presence behind me as I climbed the two concrete steps on the side of the house that led into the screened porch.
I unlocked the screen door and crossed to the side door leading to the house.
J.J. didn't speak as I unlocked that door and went inside. He shut the door behind us and turned the lock.
That small gesture seemed to emphasize the fact that we were now alone.
I hadn't turned on the overhead light, so the only illumination came from the small fixture over the sink that I left on at night so I could see if I needed a drink or a midnight snack.
J.J. hadn't moved from the door. He leaned back against it, his hands behind his back, and stared at me in the dim kitchen.
I placed my clutch and keys on the kitchen table and curled my fingers around the back of one of the four chairs that surrounded it. And I waited. I kept my gaze on him and tried to seem relaxed even though my muscles were humming with energy and desire. I wasn't sure what my next move should be, so I would wait until he spoke.
"It's, um, been a while since I've done anything like this," J.J. finally said.
"I could say the same," I replied.
Ha! The same? More like I'd never done anything like this.
"You do still want me here, right?" he asked.
I understood then that he was uncertain. Apparently, I'd missed some cue and he thought I'd changed my mind.
I took two steps forward until I was in his personal space. My hand lifted and rested on the lapel of his suit, smoothing down a few inches of the fabric.
"Yes, I do want you here," I stated. "Will you stay?"
His answer was to catch hold of my wrist and use his grip on my arm to pull me even closer. When I was close enough to rest against the front of his body, he released my arm and used both hands to cup my face.
"Nothing could make me leave except you asking me to."
I smiled up at him and he returned it.
"I haven't seen you smile like that in ten years," he said.
Before I could ask what he meant, he kissed me again.
This time there was no one else around, no potential audience or interruptions, so I didn't hold back.
My arms twined around his neck and I pressed as deep into his body as I could. I wanted to meld myself to him, to feel every inch of him against me.
J.J. groaned as our tongues touched and dueled, his hands sliding around my waist to my lower back and then lower to cup my backside through the layers of skirting on my dress.
I couldn't resist touching him either. I didn't know what he wanted me to do, and I couldn't ask because I was too busy kissing him, so I did what I wanted to do.
I ran my hands from his neck, over his chest, and beneath the suit jacket he wore. The dress shirt under it was thin and I could practically feel the searing heat of his skin through the material.
His tie was missing. He must have removed it on the drive over, but that was a good thing. It was one less article of clothing in my way.
I wanted to feel his skin against my fingers, to press my palms over his chest, and let the beat of his heart sink into my blood.
My fingers were only a little clumsy as I unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt. As the fabric parted, I ran my fingertips over the inside edges, touching his heated flesh.
J.J. pulled back, his hands kneading my butt. "I want to see you."
"You can't see me now?" I asked. From this distance, I could see the rapid pulse in his throat and realized his heart was racing just as quickly as mine was. Without thinking, I put my lips to that pulse and kissed a path down his neck to his collarbone.
He smelled like soap, fresh and clean, and the cake he'd eaten at the reception.
It made me hungry enough to sink my teeth lightly into his throat.
"Oh, God," J.J. groaned, his head falling against the back door with a thunk. "We need to take this into the bedroom, Lee, or I won't be responsible for my actions.
I lifted my head and looked up at him. "What actions?"
His hands tightened on my rear end, pulling my hips into his, and I felt the hard ridge of his erection against my belly.
Wow.
"Let's go into the bedroom and I'll show you," he said.
"Let me go and I'll take you there," I retorted.
He smiled, just a little, and released me.
After kicking off my shoes and nudging them to the side, I took his hand in mine and backed away, tugging him away from the back door. His smile grew as he followed me.
"Afraid I'm going somewhere?" he asked.
"Just making sure you go where I want you." I faced forward and kept moving toward the hall.
He laughed and allowed me to lead him through the small, dark house to my bedroom. The light of the moon filtered through the windows, giving me just enough light that I didn't have to hit any switches on the way.
The curtains were open in my room, allowing the moonlight to flood the space. My furniture was lined with silver and the very air seemed to glow.
J.J. had said he wanted to see me, but there was something magical about the pale light that poured in through the window. I didn't want to break the spell by turning on the lamp.
I paused by the bed and turned back to J.J. "This is where I want you."
He stared down at me, his hand lifting to trace the line of my face from my temple to the curve of my jaw. "Then, this is where I want to be."
When he reached toward the lamp, I stopped his hand with mine. "I like the moonlight."
The jitter of nerves I felt during the drive home was shifting into another sensation now. I was restless and hot, but not afraid. I placed my opposite hand on J.J.'s chest and felt the solid thump of his heart against my palm.
"Okay," he whispered.
I released his hand so I could finish unbuttoning his shirt. He took the hint and shrugged out of his suit jacket. A few seconds later, his shirt followed, hitting the floor with a whisper.