Prologue
One Week Ago
Caleb
I wake in the darkness, my heart pounding, a weird feeling of anxiety crawling over me, prickling at my skin in an unwelcome reminder, as though I’ve forgotten something.
I sit up, my head in my hands as I try to figure out what it is. Is it something to do with Sienna? With Reid?
I force my eyes to adjust to the darkness, blinking rapidly to clear the sleepy haze that hangs like a heavy cloud over me that just won’t budge. I realize I’m sitting on the couch, my couch and when I try to stand up, I can’t. My body like lead as it stays rooted in place, unable to move.
Panic starts to course through me, my heart now crashing against my ribs, my breathing growing ragged as the room slowly comes into focus, as though a heavy black curtain is being pulled back to reveal where I am.
The living room.
My living room.
In Providence.
What the fuck am I doing back here?
I left this place. Four days ago, I got in a car with my sister and my best friend and I left this house, this city and this life behind.
How the fuck am I back here?
I open my mouth to speak, try to call out, but no words come, my throat feeling tight as though something’s pressing on it, stopping my voice and the air I’m trying to suck into my lungs. My hands move to my neck but there’s nothing there, even as the imaginary vice grows tighter and tighter.
Sweat breaks out over my skin and when I hold my hands up in front of me, they’re shaking uncontrollably. I curl my fingers into fists, my body now clammy, my gut churning as nausea washes over me in waves.
I try to stand up again, but I can’t, my body is bound to this stupid fucking couch in my living room back in Providence.
I open my mouth, silently screaming into the darkness, but no sound comes out, no voice, no words, nothing…
Suddenly the room is bathed in a bright light, blinding me, shocking me as I freeze in fear and…
“Fuck!”
My eyes fly open and I scour the unfamiliar room, trying to figure out where the hell I am now. Scrubbing a shaking hand down my face, my fingers run over the small bump on my cheek bone, reminding me of the beating I took. Reminding me that I am still here, still alive. Even if alive means I’m barely living.
Fuck.
It was just a dream.
One of so many dreams I’ve had in the nights since I nearly died almost a month ago.
I force myself to sit up, the pain in my ribs no longer as bad as I turn and lean back against the couch, the blanket and pillows all scattered on the floor as though pushed off during the night. My heart is still pounding inside my rib cage, my body still covered in sweat as I suck in deep breaths of air, my throat no longer constricted.
The TV is on, its volume muted but its low light casting a comforting glow to the room. I haven’t been able to sleep with the lights off for ages. Too many things hiding in the shadows, like they were the night I came home and found Ray Bowen waiting for me.
“Jesus christ,” I mutter, sitting forward, as my head falls into my shaking hands.
When is this ever going to stop?
I have no reason to be afraid anymore, not now. Ray Bowen is in prison and he’s never getting out. All his men either disappeared or turned on him, spilling the beans in return for lighter sentences, so I know they aren’t coming after me either.
And Providence is long gone. The bar and our house have been claimed by the bank and I’ve left it all behind for a new start. A new start that doesn’t seem to have gotten the fucking memo.
I take a couple of deep breaths as I force myself to calm down. I can feel my pounding heart finally start to slow as I put a shaking hand against my bare chest, my skin slick with sweat. Lifting my head, I take in the room again, finally remembering where I am.
Hawthorn.
With my twin sister, Sienna and my best friend, Reid.
They convinced me to come back here with them after everything went to shit back home in Providence. They were only supposed to come back for our dad’s funeral. But in the six days it took them to get there, so many things changed.
I discovered that our father was up to his ass in debt to Ray Bowen, Reid’s dad. Debt that was now my responsibility. And debt that Ray Bowen didn’t take too kindly to me missing repayments on. The problem was though, there was no money to make those repayments. Not when our dad had gambled it all away. Not when the interest on the loan was through the fucking roof.
When Reid and Sienna had finally got back, the shit had really hit the fan. I don’t know why he’d felt the need to do so, but apparently Ray Bowen thought it was in my best interests to pay me a visit, remind me of that debt I now owed and what the consequences for non-compliance were.
My sister and Reid had been the ones to find me. I’d spent the better part of the previous twelve hours lying on the floor of my house, thinking I was going to die, before they finally walked in.
All of this had fucked with them too, in so many ways. Because after years of trying to pretend to themselves and everyone around them that they weren’t in love with each other, that road trip home had changed everything between them.
And all of that had been shot to shit when Sienna discovered that Reid’s father was the one who beat the shit out of me and killed our father. She’d freaked out and thought that automatically meant Reid knew too. He didn’t of course, but she was too messed up in her grief and her anger to realize that. Thankfully they’d eventually figured everything out and gotten back together. Although they’re now kind of nauseating; like love-sick puppies, following each other around and shit.
But in all honesty, as weird as it is to see my best friend make out with my sister, they are the two most important people in the world to me. I’m glad they’re happy; they’re perfect for each other.
I take another deep breath, inhaling deep into my lungs before letting it out on a long exhale. Standing, I turn and make my way quietly into the dark kitchen, the only light coming from the streetlamp outside the window. I hate the fact there are no blinds on it, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Instead, I try to ignore the shadows outside as I glance at the clock on the microwave.
Three a.m.
Fuck.
The house is silent, Sienna, Reid and Sienna’s roommate, Ruby all asleep in their bedrooms. Because of course they are; it’s three o’clock in the fucking morning.
I wander over to the fridge, opening it as I search for something cold to drink. My eyes move over the beers, debating whether I want to go down this path. It’s not that I don’t drink, it’s just that having a drunk for a father is enough to scare anyone into avoiding drinking alone in the kitchen in the middle of the night.
So I close the fridge door, instead grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it with water.
I drink the whole glass while standing at the sink, forcing myself to look outside before refilling it and moving over to the stools that line the kitchen counter. I take a seat, pulling my phone from the pocket of my sweats and bring up the web browser.
As soon as Google loads, I type in Ray Bowen’s name, my eyes scanning the news articles that pop up, looking for anything different, anything that might have happened since the cops finally caught him and put him in jail.
There isn’t going to be a trial, thank fuck. I’m not sure I could stand in a courtroom and face the guy who tried to kill me over something that had nothing to do with me. I know Reid didn’t want a trial either and I don’t blame him. Considering he was the one who’d turned all the evidence over to the cops, it’s quite possible his father hates him even more than he hates me.