“How’s that going?” Rae asked.
“I’m a good writer but he gives me writer’s block.”
Rae smiled. “I think I like you.”
“How was your dinner?” Josh asked.
“Good,” Aaron said. “How was your… whatever you did here with my kid?”
“We played with guns,” Toby said.
“Wait a second,” Josh said. “It was a spoon and a ladle.”
“I shot Uncle Josh ten times,” Toby said.
“Thanks for this,” Rae said. “You never fail to disappoint me.”
“It’s what I do best,” Josh said. “And you’re welcome for getting out of the house.”
Rae lifted Toby from his seat. “I’m going to wash him up.”
Rae left the kitchen.
Josh blew her a kiss.
“Easy, man,” Aaron said, punching Josh’s arm.
“I thought some pizza would get the stick out of her ass,” Josh said.
“Hey,” I said and punched his other arm.
“What the hell?” Josh growled.
“That’s your best friend’s… wife?” I asked.
Josh laughed. “They’re not married. Aaron doesn’t have the balls to ask Rae.”
“Yeah, you can leave now,” Aaron said. He looked at me. “Sorry you know him. It’s a curse that never ends.”
“I know it,” I said.
Aaron started to move, and Josh grabbed his arm. “Hey. I’m always here to help. Might not seem like it. But I am. The kid didn’t get hurt. We had fun.”
“I know,” Aaron said. He looked at me again. “Nice to meet you. Good luck with him.”
When Aaron left the kitchen, I shoved Josh as hard as I could. He barely moved though. Which angered me even more.
“Don’t be mad at me,” Josh said.
“I’m more than mad at you. I hate you right now.”
“But you still want to hear a story,” he said. “Right?”
I curled my lip. “Yeah… I do.”
Josh’s apartment was cozy after dark. The big open floor plan and the stony walls had an almost prison-like feel in the daytime, but at night, the entire place took a different tone of personality. The couch was super big and comfortable. He skipped the television for some music which just droned on in the background. The back wall had a few large windows that looked out to the night. If I stared long enough, I could catch the sight of a car here and there. Lights from other buildings. Or if I looked up, I could see the blinking lights of an airplane or just the stars.
“See anything good?” Josh asked as he handed me a drink.
“No.”
“No aliens up there?”
He smirked.
“Funny,” I said. “Just an airplane.”
“It’s kind of cool to look at. Makes you wonder who’s there and where they’re going.”
“You think that too?” I asked.
“Yeah. Everything has a story to it, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I mean, it’s stupid. But I used to love watching airplanes in the sky at night. I would get excited and think it was a shooting star. That I would finally get my wish. But it was always just an airplane. Even still, it was fun to watch. If there was a family going on vacation. Or maybe a sister going to see her sister across the country. I don’t know. It kept my mind busy.”
“I think I like your mind, Amelia,” Josh said. “It makes sense in a twisted way.”
“That scares me.”
“Why?”
“Because if you understand my mind… what does that say about me?”
“Is that an insult to me?” Josh asked.
“Yes, it is,” I said.
I raised an eyebrow and took a drink from the bottle of beer.
The other problem at Josh’s place was that it was so cozy that I had gone well over my limit for being able to leave. Which meant I’d have to sleep on his couch.
I looked at Josh. Into those eyes of his.
You have to sleep on his couch, Amelia. Couch. Not bed. Couch. Say it with me… couch… couch…
My lips trembled a little.
“You okay?” Josh asked.
“Yeah. Sorry. Thinking. As always. Uh, so… what’s the deal with Aaron and Rae?”
Josh laughed. “You keep asking me about them. I gave you the short version.”
“Yeah. They met. Had a kid. Now they have a life. But it just…”
“What? Seems wrong? Like they’re forcing it?”
“No,” I said. “I don’t know. He doesn’t want to marry her?”
“I’m not sure.”
“He’s your best friend. You don’t know these things?”
“Maybe I do,” he said. “And maybe it’s not your business.”
He inched toward me. I turned and faced him.
So cozy. Comfortable. But the couch… the couch… couch…
“Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind, love. Seeing as you’re going through drinks like water… this could get interesting.”
“Don’t try anything funny, Josh.”
“The last thing I am is funny,” he said.
That comment made me shiver in all the wrong ways and wrong places.
I backed away. “I’m waiting for you to talk. That’s why I’m here. That was our deal.”
“Right,” Josh said. “Our deal. You’re going to admit something first. About that story you wrote. The one you gave me to read.”
“Okay?”
“That wasn’t just about talking animals. That was you and your mother. And she fought hard for you, love. She was stuck in that horrible world and was ashamed she could never be brave enough to walk out… but she never wanted that for you. So she pushed you to write stories and you did so as a way to honor her. And in a way to try and get her to walk out. You thought if you wrote the perfect story, she’d get up and leave. Take you with her. Start a new life somewhere else.”
I swallowed hard as my eyes filled with tears. “You really think that?”
“It’s all over the story, Amelia.”
“Yeah, well, if that’s the case, then I’m not a good writer at all. Because it didn’t work.”
Josh moved toward me. “I’m sorry it didn’t work. But that doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer.”
I swallowed hard again. “Josh… please…”
He reached out and touched my face. His thumb stroked close to my eye, waiting for a tear that I wouldn’t let fall. I was stronger than he could imagine. Even if he made me feel comfortable enough to feel weak.
“Do you want to know how I got into drawing and painting and all that shit?”
“More than anything else,” I whispered.
Josh moved away from me and walked away from the windows. I turned my head and watched the way he carried his beer bottle. In his jeans. Barefoot. A t-shirt that wasn’t afraid to hug his body and show off everything I wanted to touch.
“My grandmother raised me, love,” Josh said. “It really wasn’t fair for her to have to do it either. But there was nobody else to take me in. To take care of me. And I think I wanted to do everything possible to make her toss me out. For her sake. Not mine.”