I never understood why she went back home when things were bad.
She had gotten into her car and had gotten away.
I had been safe at Margaret’s house. My father didn’t know a thing about her. I could have stayed at Margaret’s. My mother could have left for good. She could have driven somewhere else and changed her name. She could have started over. Dr. Bill and Donna could have adopted me as their second daughter. And I could have lived in that big house. With the big rooms. With the good food. With Dr. Bill waving his hands at the weird music.
But that didn’t happen.
Mom picked me up. She took me away from my happiness.
And even then she could have driven us away.
But no.
She drove us home.
She parked the car and turned to look at me. “Fly, baby, fly.”
“Then why are we here?” I yelled at her. “Why do you do this? Huh? What do you think is going to happen?”
“Maybe he’ll see you as a baby again,” Mom said. “That was the last time I saw him happy. Okay? If he sees you as baby Amelia it’ll help. Him. Us. Everyone.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I said. “Take me back to Margaret’s house. Right now.”
“This is your home.”
“No, it’s not!” I yelled.
“Amelia…”
“I hate this shit hole!” I yelled louder.
Mom swung her hand and slapped me across the face.
The sound echoed in the car and I let out a yell as a stinging pain climbed through my cheek. My right eye watered. I was frozen.
“Oh, what have I done?” Mom asked.
“You’re just like him!” I yelled, which was probably the worst thing I could have said to her.
I ripped at the door handle and the door flew open. I stumbled out and kept on my feet.
I knew what I was going to do next.
Run.
Leave.
I couldn’t get back to Margaret’s house though.
But I knew I could find someone else to save me.
I made it two steps before a figure stepped from the darkness and consumed me.
It was my father.
“Fly, baby, fly!” Mom yelled as my father reached for me.
I was frozen.
Too caught up in what Mom had done to me.
My father grabbed my shoulder.
“I was looking for you,” he growled.
Reality came back to me and I dropped my shoulder. I was out of his grip and I stepped back. But I needed to move faster and smarter. If he pinned me against the car, I was in big trouble. So, I made a twisting move and hit the car, rolled along the hood, and fell to the ground.
“You can’t run away from me,” my father yelled.
I got to my feet and started to run.
His grubby fingers touched my hair and he tried to pull.
I shook my head and screamed.
I turned, needing to now protect my hair.
My feet shuffled and hit one another.
“You fucking run, you fucking pay,” my father said.
I watched as his fist sailed through the air.
He was going to hit me.
He was actually going to hit me.
And if that fist hit me the way he intended, he was going to knock me out.
And then what?
I moved faster than him.
His fist tried to hit my jaw, but the only thing that caught me was my father’s gigantic middle knuckle. That thing was the size of a golf ball and one time when he was sober and in a good mood, I took the chance and asked him why that knuckle was so big. He said it was from smashing it so many times when working on cars.
That big knuckle hit the corner of my lip just enough to draw blood but not enough to actually hurt me.
Which I took as some kind of sad win. Because as he spun from throwing the punch, he fell to the ground. Mom opened the door to the car and stood there, completely unsure of what to do.
I looked at her.
I looked at my father on the ground as he started to get back up.
Mom had the chance to start the car again. To tell me to come with her. The two of us could have gotten out of there for good.
But she didn’t do that. She didn’t say that.
Which meant I was on my own again.
So, I had no choice.
I ran.
Chapter 27
Burn It With a Kiss
THEN
(Josh)
Murph brought a girl with him. She wanted to be called Cassie, but I knew that wasn’t her real name. Which was cool with me. I understood what it was like to want a new name and what it was like to pretend to be someone else.
Murph couldn’t keep his hands off Cassie, just as she couldn’t keep her eyes off me. Which wasn’t cool with me. I would never go near a girl claimed by someone else. Not that I gave a shit about Murph, Nash, or Abel. They were just people to me. Not even friends anymore. The roads they were starting to go down weren’t ones that I wanted. Which meant I knew there was a timeline on our time together. So, we’d keep raising hell, run from the cops, and eventually figure shit out.
“Hey, bro, check it out,” Abel said to me as he elbowed me.
I looked to my left and saw Murph making out with Cassie.
He looked like he was eating her face.
I shook my head.
By our age, we should have known how to kiss a girl. Especially if we were looking for something more than just a kiss from her.
Cassie looked uncomfortable with her hands at her sides. Murph started to move his hands and I looked away from them.
I grabbed Abel by the shirt. “Let’s walk. Give them privacy.”
“Hey, speaking of, where’s your girl, Josh?” Nash asked me.
“Don’t worry about her,” I said.
“We never see her. And we never see you two hooking up.”
I stopped walking and went nose to nose with Nash. “What the fuck are you suggesting?”
“Nothing,” Nash said.
“Hey, take it easy,” Abel said.
He grabbed my shoulder.
I turned and kept walking.
I went over to the edge and looked down the street at my father’s house.
I wondered what kind of hell I could cause tonight for him. It surprised me that he didn’t have the police circling his house yet, looking for the asshole who kept messing with him. Or maybe he knew it was me doing it. And he just didn’t have the balls to face me. To come up to me and take me on. Man to man. Father to son. The piece of shit who created me. The piece of shit who abandoned me. The piece of shit who dropped off a baby and left. For good.
My stomach gurgled with anger.
Too young for this shit.
What he did.
What happened to my best friend.
And now look what I had…
“Let’s burn it down,” I said.
“What?” Nash asked.
“The house. Tonight. Let’s do it. Let’s burn it down.”
“Jesus, man,” Abel said. “That’s crazy.”
“I’m in a crazy mood,” I said. “You with me?”
They both looked scared to death.
They could pussy out. That was fine. But I was going to do it.
Burn that fucking house down. And everything my father had inside it.