“I don’t know how I can when I was the one who opened the door and let him in to terrorize my family. I often wish I’d never met him, never been such a ninny over him. If he had to kill someone, I should be the one who’s dead. Not my brothers and certainly not Gray’s sweet Laura.” She blew out a long breath. “Then again, if it wasn’t for Wendell, Gray would never have come to Hardman and met Claire. I can honestly say he is happier with her than he was with Laura. Oh, he loved his first wife, but he treated her like she was a fragile doll that might break at any moment. Claire would whack him over the head with one of her ski poles if he tried to do that with her.”
Trace chuckled, knowing what Victoria said was true. Claire was not one to sit still for long. The young woman was always doing something, involved with one project or another. He’d seen her shoot arrows with a precision few men mastered. He’d also noticed her skiing across a field one day with Gray trying to catch up to her.
He had an idea, given the opportunity, Victoria would enjoy many of the same pursuits that brought Claire such joy.
Her quiet voice drew him back to the moment. “Every day I pray for forgiveness for the grief I brought to my family, for the ability to forgive Wendell and myself.”
“Victoria…” Trace pulled her into his arms and held her for several heartbeats, not knowing what else to do. He couldn’t understand why she blamed herself for the actions of a deranged, despicable man. He realized, though, that nothing he said was likely to change her mind. She’d have to forgive herself and accept what had happened before she could let go of the weight of the past and move on to her future.
“I’m sorry. This isn’t a very happy conversation for Claire’s extraordinarily festive evening.” She forced a smile and stepped back from him, appearing uncomfortable.
“Tori, I realize nothing is likely to change your mind, but believe me when I say you had no part in what Wendell did. None at all. You were as much a victim as your brothers in this. I admire you for surviving.”
“Well, you shouldn’t. There were times I wanted to end it all. Or end Wendell. As horrid as it is to speak ill of the deceased, I’m so glad he’s dead, glad he can never harm another living soul.” Her shoulders bent forward under the weight of her admission. “I understand if you’d rather not associate with someone who rejoiced at the news he is gone.”
“I was there when you got the telegram, remember?” Trace placed a hand on her shoulder as he stepped around her and faced her. “I wouldn’t exactly call it a moment of rejoicing. More like shock mingled with relief and regret. It’s okay, Tori. Whatever you are feeling is natural and expected. Give yourself time to work through it all, to grieve and mourn.”
“Mourn? For that monster?” She shook her head with such force he was surprised her hat didn’t sail off into a pile of snow. “No. I won’t spend a moment mourning him. I’m not in mourning for him, more of grieving for what was lost that shouldn’t have been. I deeply regret my one stupid choice to marry that horrible man because of what it did to my family, but I refuse to mourn him as a wife mourns a husband. He never told me the truth, dallied with any number of women, plotted against me and my loved ones, and used me…” She took a deep breath and slowly released it. “I won’t ever mourn him.”
“That’s understandable,” Trace said, wishing they’d never gotten off on such a morose topic. However, he thought it did Victoria good to discuss something she obviously kept bottled inside.
He took her hand in his and tugged her toward Fred and Elsa’s house. “Is it true Gray lived in a cabin in the woods for four years and no one knew he was there?”
“That’s mostly true. Luke and Filly knew he was there, although they didn’t know who he was. It wasn’t until Claire happened upon him and Maddie one autumn day that his secret hideaway was no longer a secret.”
“I bet he’s glad she found him.”
“Ever so glad,” Victoria said with a smile. “Perhaps, if you ask nicely, we could borrow Gray and Claire’s skis and go see it one day.”
Trace liked the idea of an outing in the snow and trees with Victoria. Although he spent far too much time out in the cold with the telephone work, he had no objection to doing something fun in the snow with her.
“What would it take to convince you to show me the cabin?” he asked, giving her a questioning glance.
“Hmm. Well, perhaps you could hurry and get the telephone installed for Claire. She is positively about to burst, wanting to be able to talk to everyone in town who has one.” She grinned at him. “I think she’ll be one of your best customers.”
“Most likely,” he agreed. He planned to get Claire’s telephone installed on Monday. Barring a blizzard, he’d make sure it happened. “That’s something for Claire. What about you? Is there anything you want?”
The moonlight provided plenty of light for him to watch the play of emotions on her face, but she merely shook her head. “No. I don’t want anything.”
“That’s interesting.” Trace circled around her like a hunter stalks his prey. Victoria gave him a wary look when he made a second circle around her.
“What are you doing, Trace Travers?” she asked, sounding slightly nervous.
“Deciding what you need,” he said in a low rumble. “I think I figured it out.”
“Is that so?” she asked, planting her hands on her hips and defiantly lifting her chin. “I don’t believe it is up to you to decide, but please, do tell what you’ve concluded.”
“I’ve decided what you need,” he said, taking two steps closer to her, “is a man to,” another step closer, “make you…” One more step placed him so close her skirts brushed over the toes of his boots.
“Make me what, sir?” she asked, with a dubious look.
He trailed the index finger of his left hand over her cheek, toyed with a stray tendril of hair at her temple, then bent so his lips hovered above her ear. “You need a man to make you laugh,” he said in a husky rumble right before he placed his hands on her sides and attempted to tickle her.
She squirmed away from him, grinning. With her many layers of clothes, his efforts were for naught, but then he growled at her and she started to run through the snow. He could have easily caught her, but he paced himself to keep just a step behind her, enjoying the sound of her laughter in the evening air as well as the sight of her smile as she glanced over her shoulder at him.
Unable to keep from touching her, from holding her, he caught her and swept her up in his arms, twirling her around and around as she laughed with unbridled joy. The sound arrowed into his heart with such precision Claire couldn’t have done a better job of shooting it and hitting the mark.
As he held Victoria, their gazes connected, collided, and all he could think of was kissing her. His lips were so close to touching hers when he saw the uncertainty on her face and decided the time wasn’t right. Not yet.
To ease the awkwardness, he tossed her over his shoulder like a sack of feed at which she protested between giggles. He was in the midst of spinning her around again when he happened to notice Fred and Elsa standing a few feet away, watching them.