Destiny yawns and rubs her eyes again, “You sleepy, baby?”
She yawns and puffs out her bottom lip, “Why’d you wake up then?”
“I didn’t want you to leave again,” she murmurs softly, avoiding eye contact with me.
“Oh, baby.” I hold her close, pressing soft kisses to her forehead. “C’mon, let’s go upstairs and we’ll take a nap and wait for Momma.”
“Mkay,” she murmurs.
I rise with her in my arms. She burrows her head against my neck, the heat of her breath hitting my skin as we go out into the hallway, running right into Stoney, Horse, and Ricochet.
“Hey, nugget. I thought I saw you.” Ricochet chuckles, going to pinch Destiny’s cheeks. She yanks her head away from him and sticks her thumb in her mouth. “She okay?” He asks.
I nod, “Yeah, just tired. A little grumpy. She thought I was leaving, so she didn’t get a good sleep.”
“Oh, man. You go get some rest, princess, okay?” Ricochet looks right at the little girl in my arms. For some reason I look past Ricochet to Horse and Stoney, who’re both looking at my daughter.
“I’ll tell you this straight, Cow’. We aren’t leavin’, so you’d best get used to us bein’ around.” Stoney declares. I know to keep my thoughts to myself, or else I’d be tellin’ this fucker he’s gonna be leaving, and it’s up to him whether it’ll be in a body bag or not.
“Night-night princess.” Ricochet tells Destiny, who smiles back at him in return.
“Night, sweetie. We’ll have that cuppie cake tomorrow, ‘kay?” Stoney tells Destiny, makin’ me wanna throttle his ass right here and now.
But Destiny, my sweet, beautiful, baby girl smiles and nods her head. “C’mon, baby, let’s get you to bed.”
“Mkay . . . you won’t leave, right, Daddy?” She asks, and I know this is fucked up, but I hope it’s loud enough for Stoney to hear. He needs to realize she is my daughter. Fuck, I know biologically she’s his. I know that . . . but I can’t lose her. This little girl has gotten me through the last couple years and if I didn’t have her in my life . . . I would’ve blown my fuckin’ brains out. That’s a fact. She gives me a reason to go on, and I made a vow I wouldn’t ever leave her.
I’m not gonna leave my little girl behind.
Maybe it’s time I make that official . . . maybe it’s time I don’t leave at all anymore.
Maybe, just maybe, it’s time I try to stay around for good.
After all, she is beggin’ me not to leave.
Chapter Six
Real love is always chaotic. You lose control. You lose perspective. You lose the ability to protect yourself. The greater the love, the greater the chaos. It’s a given and that’s the secret.
~ Jonathan Carroll
Boss
I don’t know how long I stayed on that floor, but I do remember waking up on it. So, instead of going back in the bar area to grab a drink before I go to bed like usual, I just headed up to the fourth floor where Destiny and I have our small apartment. There are actually two apartments, one for us and one for the VP. We have a two-bedroom, two bath and Omen has pretty much a replica of what we have.
I open the door to our apartment and find Cowboy asleep on my couch with a unicorn blanket wrapped around him. I don’t know why, but man it makes me smile to see him like this. That is, before everything comes flooding back. What we had was good. It wasn’t perfect, but we had something pretty solid. Hell, it was chaos. We live in two separate countries, would fuck when we were around each other, and I’m sure we were fucking other people when we were apart. It was chaos, utter and complete chaos.
But, none of that matters when I watch him with my daughter. The way he treats her with respect. How he’ll drop whatever he has to do for the club just so he can be there for her. It melts my heart. Makes the stone-cold thing turn into water in a matter of minutes.
“Are you creepin’ on me?” Cowboy asks in a groggy tone, pulling the pink fleece blanket away from him.
I shrug my shoulders, “Maybe a little bit. Did you bring Destiny up?”
He nods, running a hand over his hair. “Yeah, she’s tuckered out in her big girl bed. Fuck, Tala. When did you get that for her?”
“About a month ago. I waited too long. The mommy blogs say I was supposed to do it a little bit earlier.”
“Mommy blogs? Hell, never thought I’d hear you say that.” He chuckles, flashing his pearly whites. I almost forgot what they looked like, not seeing him smile for so long.
“Yeah, well, I need as much help as I can get. You know?”
He nods, “Yeah,” Cowboy clears his throat and rises, tossing the blanket on the couch where he was sitting. “How’re you doin’?”
I blink at him a couple times, processing if he’s really asked me that, or if I’m losing my mind a little bit. “You mean from the Stoney stuff?”
He nods.
“I can handle Stoney, that’s a fact.”
Cowboy cocks a brow, like he doubts me. “I know you’re one tough woman, Tala, but that man . . . I almost lost my cool tonight. If I can lose my control, I know you can. So, what’s the plan here?”
What’s the plan? Ha! I don’t have a fucking plan. “There isn’t one.” I’m honest with him because even if I did have some sort of elaborate plan, Stoney would fuck it up anyway.
“Well, we need to figure one out, ‘cause I’m not gonna let him take our girl away from us.”
Ours.
He called Destiny ours.
God dammit. I could cry right now.
I’m stuck staring at Cowboy, looking into his vibrant grassy green eyes. “He’s a man on a mission, Tala. I’m not fuckin’ blind. It’s plain as day. He isn’t going to take her away. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about somethin’.”
“You do?”
He nods, “Yeah. Destiny . . . she . . . she wasn’t sleeping earlier this evening ‘cause she thought I was leaving. I think she didn’t want me to leave, so she was tryin’ to stay awake while I was here.”
“Bless her. She loves you so fucking much.” I tell him, taking a few steps closer toward him.
He smirks, “And I love her. She’s . . . she’s the light of my life, Tala. I know when I found out that . . . that I wasn’t her biological father . . . well, I treated you like shit, and I’m sorry for that, but Destiny gives my life purpose. Without her I don’t know where I’d be. I don’t even think I’d still be breathin’.”
I furrow my brows and take his hand in mine, keeping my eyes trained on his. “Why would you say something like that?”
“‘Cause, I almost killed myself last year, Tala. I was a split second away from doing it and you called my cell. Well, it wasn’t you. It was Destiny. She wanted to say goodnight to me. Something so normal for her to do, but I had the bullet in the chamber. I . . . she saved my life. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the God’s honest truth.”
I find myself using my alternate hand to brush my hand against his cheek, trying to comfort him somehow. The shame is evident on his face, especially the way he keeps averting his eyes away from mine. “I had no idea you were struggling so much. I’m so sorry.”