I leave the living room, walk into the kitchen, and find the bottle of champagne. I had already seen the glasses spread out on the coffee table in the living room, so I grab the bottle and make my way back.
“It’s time,” my brother announces as he switches the channel to ABC so we can catch the countdown at Times Square. Fifteen seconds to go.
Max points at the TV. “Here it is. Ten, nine…”
I think back to the messages I sent Carissa as the loud television and the excitement everyone else is feeling blasts through my ears.
Me: I don’t know what happened and why all of a sudden you pulled away. I really thought you enjoyed everything we did, but if I went too far, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you or offend you or whatever the case may be. I don’t know what it could be… Please tell me so I can correct it.
“Eight, seven…”
Me: I really want to talk and fix this… you mean so much to me. Please answer me.
“Six, five…”
Me: All I want to do is say I’m sorry and right things with you. The last thing I wanted was for you to go away and no longer even speak to me.
“Four, three…”
Me: If you’d rather we be just friends, that’s fine. It’ll hurt to let you go, but I’m a grown ass man and I can handle it. I’d rather you tell me you want that instead of completely ignoring me. Please.
“Two, one…”
I grip the bottle tightly in one hand and place my other hand on the edge of the cap, getting ready to pop it open.
“Happy New Year!”
Everyone stands and congratulates each other. The lid pops off and everyone cheers. Glasses are filled, toasts are said, and we all drink champagne. My mother handed Gianna a glass of sparkling apple cider to feel like she was part of the celebration as well. She’s not a fan after only taking a sip.
After everyone calms down, I walk to the far end of the living room and take a seat on one of the couches.
I figure I need to send one last and final text. It’s obvious I need to let her go. She doesn’t want me, and she has no intention of even speaking to me anymore.
I take a deep breath and type my last message to her before I take my brother’s plan on what I should do into consideration. I haven’t done what he told me to do yet because I don’t know how she will react, but maybe I need to. It’ll be the last thing to try, and maybe it will get her to talk to me once more. She would have to thank me at least, right? Or maybe she’ll trash everything and hate me even more. Time would tell, but it’s my last option.
Me: Carissa, I’m sorry. I don’t want to make things worse by continuing to text you when you obviously don’t want to talk to me anymore. Hell, you probably already blocked my number, and I can’t say I blame you. I know I’m persistent, but when I want something I fight for it. It’s in my nature, and I can’t help it. But I’m sorry. I wish you all the best, and in case you do ever want to talk, I’m here. Happy New Year. ~Lorenzo.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Carissa
I can’t believe it’s already the new year. Every time I think back to the past year and everything that happened, especially the last two months, it blows my mind how much my life changed. Of course, I wish things could be different now, but still, I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
Yet, I’m devastated. I’m so torn by the last couple of days. I really thought something good was coming out of it. I was convinced and I let myself fall, then landed flat on my face. It sucks, but as soon as I told Shannon who Lorenzo was, she didn’t fault me for pulling away. In fact, she understood my reasoning, to some point.
Now there’s a new bouquet of flowers and box of candies waiting for me every day, making it harder to forget about him. I thought by not answering his calls or text messages—God, has it been hard not to talk to him—it would make him understand, but no. He went one step further and has been sending me flowers.
It’s January sixth, the first Wednesday after the new year, and he’s still not showing an end in sight.
“Hey, girl.” Daniela walks into the break room and plops onto the seat next to mine.
I lift my gaze. “Hey, Dani.”
“Man, today’s been a long-ass day. I can’t wait to get home and kick my feet up on the couch.”
I nod. “Yeah, I’m not planning on doing much once I leave here either.”
She sips her Diet Coke through a straw. “Any more word from Guns?”
Guns… I haven’t heard him being referred to that in a long time. Immediately, thoughts of his big arms wrapped tightly around me cloud my brain. Damn… I miss him—and them—so much.
I swallow thickly and take a deep breath. “He stopped texting, but he’s been sending me flowers and candy every day since the first.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh my God, girl! He’s so sweet. I can’t believe you let him go. I get why and all, but don’t you think enough time has passed since then?”
I shrug. “Maybe. But it’s not something I can take a chance on. I’m checking out before my feelings are too far gone.”
“Aren’t you and your feelings already too far gone? I mean, you love him, right? Still?” She dips her hand inside the bag of Doritos and stuffs the one she grabbed into her mouth.
“I don’t even know anymore.” I look down because I can’t stand talking about Lorenzo and everything else that could have been, what I’ve thrown away.
She’s about to say something more, but I really need to take this conversation a different direction.
I clear my throat. “So, how’s your family?”
She smirks but doesn’t push. This is one of the reasons why we’re friends. “They’re good. They were driving me crazy with the holidays, so I’m glad that’s over with. Now I can focus on work, and they can mind their own damn business.”
I chuckle. “Their own business about what?”
She shrugs. “Everything. Because I live alone, my mother is always on my ass. She wants to make sure I’m taken care of, but I keep telling her I can take very well care of my damn self.”
I smile. “She’s your mom. It’s what she’s supposed to do.” I instantly miss my mom and the way she used to be just like that with me and Shannon. It’s been so long since she’s been gone.
“Maybe, girl. But it’s both a blessing and a curse to live so close to my parents.” She takes another sip of her drink.
I smirk. “My older sister is enough to drive me crazy…”
Daniela laughs. “Yeah, I remember you saying she does all the time. But I guess that’s with any older siblings.”
I smile and rise from my seat. “I’m sure.”
She frowns. “Ugh! Please don’t tell me it’s time to get back already.”
“Unfortunately, there’s about three minutes left. I figured I’d get started. Maybe I can cut out three minutes early.”
She laughs. “Three minutes is definitely worth it.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” I walk out of the breakroom and finish the rest of my shift.