I lunged and swung.
What choice did I have?
My fist connected with Jeff’s jaw and he fell, taking two chairs with him to the floor.
There was a collective gasp in the bakery.
Then it was silence.
Jeff scrambled around to clean up the papers off the floor, collecting everything, and then running toward the door.
“I hope I never see him again,” I said. “If I do, I’m going to-”
“Liam, leave,” Emily said.
“What?”
“I said leave.”
“Em… you heard what he said. We didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I said to leave,” she said. “Right now.”
“Em.”
Her eyes met mine. “Get the fuck out of here, Liam.”
And there it was.
All of the truth.
More than I bargained for.
I got the truth of who told Miranda about Emily and I.
But now I got the truth from Emily…
She didn’t want me near her.
Chapter Forty-Two
Emily
“I wasn’t sure what I was going to do,” I said to Lucy and Ember. “Any real decision I would have talked to you. I’m just… lost.”
“So you want to just close up for a few days?” Ember asked.
“I’m paying you both for the time off,” I said. “I won’t screw you over. But you both should think about what’s next. I can’t do this anymore.”
“All over Liam?” Lucy asked.
“No. He was just the final chip against the iceberg before it let loose. If that makes sense.”
“Splash,” Ember said. “I hate this.”
“I hate it too.”
“What did Jeff want you to sign?” Lucy asked.
I shook my head. “He’s a scammer. I shouldn’t have called him. I thought he could help. That was a big mistake on my part. I took this place over thinking I was going to help my family and it did nothing. I only hurt myself. Everything I do is for someone else and I end up hurt.”
“Liam?” Ember asked.
“I don’t even know. I don’t know why I did that. For him? For me? For us? I’m still hurt.”
“You don’t have to be,” Lucy said.
“Right now, I do,” I said. “I’ll keep in touch. I just need a break.”
I slipped through the back door and went home.
This was not the way things were supposed to go.
On days where I felt good, the vision was to have the bakery succeed. To grow and get busier and be able to comfortably survive and make sure Lucy and Ember were taken care of. On days where I felt like hell, the vision was to sell it all off, get sued by Miranda, and then crawl to Elise and ask to live in her basement for a little while.
Nowhere in either scenario did it include Liam.
Not that I had Liam anyway.
I didn’t have…
I walked from the couch to the kitchen and back to the couch.
Those were my big plans for the day. The night. Tomorrow. The day after that.
Whatever.
I just needed time.
To myself.
To figure out who I really was.
The doormat? Or the woman strong enough to find love, even if it wasn’t the best place to find it?
I sat down on the couch and cried.
All the comforts I held tight were gone.
Most were bad to have to begin with.
But the one I missed most…
Liam.
I stood on the roof and watched Buzzy and Miss Crabapple talking to each other.
Youth and experience meeting in the middle.
“If you were going to give someone one piece of advice in life, what would it be?” Buzzy asked Miss Crabapple.
“Now this is for a school assignment?” Miss Crabapple asked.
“Yes,” Buzzy said.
“So they make you find the oldest person you know and make them feel that way?”
“Stop,” I said. “You know you’re old.”
“You’re lucky there’s young ears here, Emily,” Miss Crabapple said.
“It’s nothing I haven’t heard before,” Buzzy said. “Were you going to call her a bitch?”
Buzzy covered her mouth and blushed.
I laughed.
“That’s the least of what I want to say,” Miss Crabapple said. “Now, to answer your question, Buzzy, my one piece of advice… for all of life…” She took a deep breath and sighed. “Remember who you are. Remember that when your feet touch the floor and you stand up and take a deep breath, you’re alive. And if you’re alive, you better be who you are meant to be.”
“That’s a lot to write down,” Buzzy said.
“Us old people use a lot more words than you young people do,” Miss Crabapple said. “And just what in the world does LMFAO mean?”
“Do you really want to know?” Buzzy asked.
“Yes,” Miss Crabapple said.
“Laugh my f-word a-s-s off…”
Miss Crabapple rolled her eyes.
I was pretty sure she knew that answer but she wanted to see what Buzzy would say.
“Now, off the record,” Miss Crabapple said. “My advice on life? Just get out there and live. Stop thinking so much. Get out there and live.”
Buzzy was still writing the first quote.
Which meant what Miss Crabapple said was directed toward me.
Just to make sure of it, she pushed herself from her chair and stood up.
She walked to me and pointed a finger right at my face.
“I know,” I said. “That was for me.”
“More than that,” she said. “Go do it. You love that gorgeous man and he loves you.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Oh, it’s not? So you’re just giving up on everything now? Your business? Your music? Your love?”
“It’s…”
“These excuses will kill you,” Miss Crabapple said. “Correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t you supposed to be somewhere tonight?”
I had a gig with Carla and Faye. But they knew I wasn’t coming. They understood why. They supported my staying home. They were good friends like that.
“I can walk my dying ass home,” Miss Crabapple said. “You go, right now. Those are your people. Your friends. You’ve been hiding so long, Emily, it’s good to see life in your eyes.”
I looked over at Buzzy.
She was still writing.
“I’ll get the kid home too,” Miss Crabapple said. “I don’t need to be a victim here. I have cancer. I’m dying. Big deal. I still have some life to live. You have a lot more than me, Emily. Don’t waste it.”
So what was I supposed to do?
Just show up to Ernie’s club and walk on stage and sing?
Maybe that’s exactly what I was supposed to do.
Dozer smiled when he saw me and ushered me right in.
I had my guitar strapped to my back and felt out of place. Like the first time I entered the club.
The place was packed.
The stage was empty.
My heart raced fast.