I’ll admit, when I first asked Daniel to be the buffer between Wesley and me, it was because I was still a little heartbroken over Wesley and I didn’t want him to know. Wesley and I didn’t work as a couple. He worked days where I worked most nights. He’s the jealous type and we got into plenty of fights because of it—mostly due to my rowdy male fans. And after we started dating, he suddenly didn’t like the revealing things I wore on stage. But we had a connection and really good sex. When we called it off, I was relieved but still upset. Then Daniel entered the picture and I thought hey, why not? I could have fun with Daniel while pushing myself to get over Wesley—all while making him jealous. But now, Wesley is the last thing on my mind. I’m completely caught up in Daniel, and even though I know Wesley doesn’t want to get back together, it’s my little way of keeping Daniel around as long and as much as I can.
We make it to band practice, and as I thought, Wesley is here armed with his professional camera. Daniel takes a seat off to the side while I grab my guitar and pull the strap over my head. I take my place behind the mic, then the guys and I have a brief discussion about what we’ll work on tonight. We settle on one of our new ones, “27 Hates Me.” It’s a song we wrote about a person whose life starts to unravel when they turn 27. It’s also a reference to the 27 Club and the fallen rock legends before us.
We start rocking out with Lane and me on vocals. Daniel watches us—mostly me—with interest. I don’t know why, but watching him watch me on stage is a major turn-on. He looks at me with such intensity, passion, and lust that I can barely hold myself back from pulling him outside to have a quickie in the bushes. Wesley gets busy snapping pictures of everyone in the band, lingering a bit longer on me since I’m usually up front with Lane in all of our pictures.
We finish the song and move into “Death Defy.” Daniel taps his foot and nods his head to the beat, and I can’t keep the smile off my face as I watch him. Wesley finishes with the pictures and we end up taking a break so the guys can say their goodbyes. I head over to Daniel. “What did you think of the new stuff?”
“It’s amazing. There’s no way you’re not going to get signed.” He smiles a sweet, boyish grin.
I return his smile and bump my shoulder against his. “Wesley is leaving, so you can take off if you want to or need to.”
He frowns. “Are you sure?”
I nod, even though I don’t want to. “Yeah, it’s fine. I’m sure you have other things to do.”
He stands up. “Well, I do need to hit the gym. Talk to you later?” he asks, moving in for a kiss.
I nod as I press my lips against his, letting it linger partly for show, but really because I like it so much. I wrap my arms around his neck and keep him against me. Our tongues dance together and the tingles start to take over. I nip his bottom lip and press my chest against his a bit more. He pulls away with a grin.
“I better go before I end up doing something the rest of the band won’t like very much,” he whispers low enough so only I hear.
I giggle. “What’s that?”
“Bend you over one of these amps,” he says, glancing around the setup like he’s imagining it.
“That doesn’t sound too bad. We might have to do that one night,” I offer.
He makes a deep growling sound in his chest. “Don’t tempt me.” He gives me one last quick kiss and pulls away to leave. I stand back, watching him go.
Ridge walks Wesley out and Lane goes out to smoke, but Van stays behind. He walks over to me just as I’m sitting down on the old plaid couch in his garage.
“What’s up?” I ask, pulling out my phone to check my notifications.
He sits down beside me. “You two look to be getting pretty serious.”
I laugh and snort. “What? No. We’re just messing around.”
“Doesn’t look like it. He’s been to all our shows lately and now you’re bringing him to practice?”
“What’s this about, Van?”
He lets out a long sigh and runs his hands over his face. “Look, I just don’t think right now is a good time to be starting up a relationship. We have this meeting on Monday, and if we get signed, our lives as we know them are over. We’re going to be recording an album, thrown into all sorts of things for promotion, asked to grow our social media pages, and going on tour. And I’m worried that if you start something up with this guy, it could alter your decision-making ability when it comes to the band.”
“And how do you see it altering my decision-making?” I almost feel offended. No, I am offended. Van and I started this band. Does he really think I’m going to let my feelings for some guy I just started dating come before the band?
“I mean, you could decide that fame isn’t for you or that you want to stay here with him. We can’t do this without you, Luna. Or what happens if you decide to stay together and tour at the same time? Your head will always be back here with him instead of what we’re doing out there. And how to you expect to have a normal relationship with him when we’re on the road? What about marriage and kids? What if you end up pregnant before we’re set to go out on tour? There’s just too much at stake, Luna.”
“I can’t believe you, Van. Have I ever put myself or my wants before the band? Why do you think I would start now? This is my life and my business. I appreciate your concern, but you need to know when to butt out. Daniel and I aren’t getting serious. We’re just hanging out and having a good time. Apparently, that’s okay when the rest of the band does it, so why is it so wrong when I do it?” I spring to my feet and look down at him.
He stands so I have to look up at him. “The rest of the guys are fucking random women—a different one every night. But they’re not spending every waking minute with the same one. They get their rocks off and get it out of their system. Women aren’t made to do that. You all look for meaning and relationships in everything. Put some space between the two of you or someone will get hurt, and if it’s the band, we’re going to have some serious problems.” He turns and walks out of the garage, slamming the door behind him.
Well, I guess band practice is over.
I grab my things and head for the door, walking straight to my car with the other guys yelling at me, but I don’t turn back or answer their questions. I’m too angry and don’t want to take it out on them.
I drive straight home and try to cool off by taking a long, hot shower. I comb through my hair but leave it to air dry. I pull on a pair of black panties and a white cutoff shirt that ends just above my belly button. I pour a glass of Jack and sit on the couch, wondering how to fix this mess I’ve gotten myself into. My eyes land on Journey, and like I always used to do, I reach for her to work through the problem that’s bugging me. I need to take a journey right now to get away from all my problems and worries.
I take the guitar back to my couch and start tuning it to perfection. When everything is sounding the way it should, I start playing whatever notes come to mind. Almost on their own, lyrics start flooding my brain and I stop to grab some paper and a pencil.
* * *
I was lost,
lonely,