“Let’s go to bed,” I say against her lips, picking her up in my arms and carrying us to the bedroom.
Our time together passes quickly—too quickly. Before I know it, I find myself right where I was a few weeks ago, carrying her things out to my car then dropping her off in front of a big tour bus, since the tour is starting with a couple dates in North America before they head to Europe.
I should be grateful for the time we got to spend together. It was perfect in every way possible. For a time, I even forgot that she’s a famous rock star since her time off wasn’t anything like what she did before. There were no shows, no practices, nothing. It was just Luna and me living every day however we wanted. We made love all night and slept in every day after I managed to move my clients around. If I had a client that had a pressing issue, I’d leave Luna long enough to handle it, but then I was right back beside her.
I put the car in park and look up at the big, black bus that has many people moving around it. We’re in an empty parking lot that’s lit by overhead lights. I watch as they load things into the storage compartment at the bottom of the bus.
“Daniel,” Luna says, stealing my attention away from the bus that’s about to take her away from me. I look over and meet her eyes. I can see all the pain and sadness behind them. “Before I say what I need to say, I want to tell you how amazingly perfect these last few weeks with you have been. Every moment was perfect and I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
“But?” I ask, feeling it coming on.
“But . . . I’ve been thinking about how unfair all of this is to you. I mean, I’m out there, living my life and doing what I want to do, and you’re here wasting your life by waiting for me. I don’t want you to move on without me, but I don’t want you missing out on your life for me either.”
“What are you saying, Luna?” I ask, feeling the panic rising in my chest.
“I’m saying that when I get back, if you’re still around and wanting me, I’ll want you too. But I don’t want you waiting on me. I want you to go out and experience life. I don’t want you missing out on opportunities. If you find some girl attractive, I want you to be able to ask her out. If you get offered an amazing job, I want you to be able to decide if you want to take it or not, and I don’t want you factoring me in. I just want you to be happy, even if it isn’t with me.”
I nod my head as I clench my teeth together. “So you’re breaking up with me?”
She turns to face me. “No, I’m not breaking up with you because we’re not together, Daniel. As much as it hurts me to do this, I’m setting you free to find whatever makes you happy when I can’t be here. Please understand the difference.”
My mouth opens but no words come out. I’m speechless.
She leans forward and presses her lips to mine. It takes me a moment before I can even kiss her back, but I finally do and decide I want to make it a kiss she’ll never forget—one she’ll never be able to move on from. I kiss her with as much passion, yearning, and love as I can pour out of me. And I know she feels the difference when she pulls away with tears in her eyes. “See ya later, Daniel,” she says opening the door.
“See ya later, Luna,” I reply, not moving, watching her walk away.
It’s been months since I’ve seen her, talked to her, or listened to her music. I can’t. Something inside me is broken, and when I hear her song on the radio, I have no choice but to turn it off before my anger turns to rage and I break the radio.
Even though thinking about her fills me with heartbreak, love, anger, sadness, and every other emotion I can think of, I haven’t allowed myself too much time for her to cross my mind. I’ve always prioritized her needs, and now I want to move on like she asked me to. I’ve been on a few dates here and there, but nothing worth speaking about.
I’ve finally hired a senior partner at the firm, Matthew Lewis III. He seems like a bit of a pompous ass at times, but he’s a damn good lawyer. With the amount of hours and dedication I’ve been putting in at work, our client base is growing faster than I can keep up with, and Matthew will be vital in helping me manage things. And truthfully, his fiery administrative assistant, Poppy, has been a source of comedic relief for my melancholy mood. The hateful dynamic between them would normally annoy me, but I’m 99 percent sure he has the hots for her, and it drives him crazy that she can’t stand him and is constantly screwing things up.
My life is now comprised of work, time at the gym, dinner at my place alone, and sleeping. In fact, this is the first time I’ve allowed myself to fully think about her in weeks, and it’s only coming up now because I’m at the hospital, surrounded by happy couples and holding Preston and Riley’s daughter.
This little baby in my arms is perfect. She’s tiny, soft, and pink, and smells unbelievably good. Preston and Riley are sitting on Riley’s hospital bed, watching me and whispering back and forth between themselves.
“Say cheese, Uncle Daniel!” Riley says. I look up just in time to have my picture snapped.
I smile for the picture, but it falls when I look back down at this little baby in my arms. I’ve never been much of a fan of babies, but it’s like I’m suddenly reminded of something I’ll never get. I’ll never get what Riley and Preston have—spending every day of the rest of my life with the woman I love. I’ll never get to have a family with her. I’ll never be the proud father who’s passing out pink bubble gum cigars. Anything I have with any other woman will only be second best, and that’s not fair to her or myself. I deserve to be with the woman I love, and there’s only one woman who can fill that role: Luna. I don’t care how crazy her life is; I want to be there with her. And I’m going to tell her just that when she gets back—that is, if she still wants me.
Months ago, after she left, I expected a text or call after a few weeks. It’s our usual song and dance: we can’t be together but always end up getting dragged back by passion and need. I figured she’d give in and call, but she hasn’t. She must be serious about this whole go live your life thing. And so am I. She can be out there living her life, and I can be here living mine. But when she gets back, she either has to choose me—be with me in any way, shape, or form we can—or not have me at all. I don’t care how many miles are between us. I can wait forever as long as I know she’s mine.
Seventeen
Luna
I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t know it would be this hard. Daniel was the only thing that got me through the last tour. I knew that in the end, I’d be coming home to him, and that kept me going. But since I was stupid and insisted that while I’m gone, he live his life like I don’t exist, I don’t have that certainty anymore. What if he decides to go on a date and finds the perfect woman for him—a woman who doesn’t travel and has long, dark hair that isn’t dyed a funny color? Maybe he’ll find someone who’s willing to marry him, give him children, and stay by his side. I’ll be devastated and it’ll all be because I was stupid and told him to move on without me.