Even with his gloomy mood, he still welcomed the sound of Teddy’s key in the lock. Teddy arrived home right as he put the finishing touches on some hash and fried eggs that could be dinner for Teddy and breakfast for himself before he headed to the station.
“Still in the pumpkin costume?” he teased as Teddy came barreling into the kitchen.
“No time to change.” Teddy was all out of breath. “I wanted to catch you before you went to work.”
“Oh?” Nick lost the joking demeanor in a hurry. “Is something wrong?”
“Not exactly. I mean, something is but not for us. It’s more like there’s news and—”
“News?” Nick quickly plated the food and took it to the little kitchen table where they had most quick meals. “You mean—”
“Joyce came by the center.”
“News.” Having a feeling he might want to be sitting for this, he grabbed his coffee and settled in his chair. “Come on. Tell me everything.”
“Well…” Teddy licked his lips, and Nick could almost see the cogs of his brain turning, trying to decide how to sell Nick on something. Which wasn’t the best start for this conversation. Stomach souring, Nick pushed his coffee aside.
“There’s a situation? For us?” His pulse did a weird gallop. Weeks of classes. Hours upon hours of talks. And he still wasn’t entirely sure what had possessed him of all people to think he could be a parent. He was a cop, not a born nurturer like Teddy who could heal the world with a smile and a cup of cocoa. But somehow, Teddy, and all that boundless compassion, loved Nick. And Teddy believed they could do this. And if anyone out there deserved a chance to answer the call to parenthood, it was Teddy. But that didn’t mean Nick wasn’t more than a little unsettled as his maybe became right now. This minute.
“Yes. Joyce has a placement here in Mineral Spirits. We’re ideal because no school district changes would be needed.”
“That’s excellent,” he said cautiously. “But you’re not jumping up and down.”
“Well, this is a lot.” Teddy exhaled hard as he took the chair opposite Nick. “I mean, I’m excited for us, for what this might mean for our future, but I’m also sad about the situation. The mom died in a car accident on Highway 126, two years ago. The bio dad was never much in the picture. Grandma has been in charge, but now she’s had a stroke and is in a care facility. The permanency plan is likely headed to adoption, but a lot is hinging on the grandma’s health.”
“That sucks. And I get why you’re feeling all the things.” Nick patted Teddy’s hand. God bless Teddy and his big, beautiful heart. Of course, he was torn up about the circumstances here. “Tell me about the kid.”
“Well…” Teddy drew the word out again, and a fresh knot gathered in Nick’s stomach. “There’s two. Kids. Plural.”
“Ah. We talked about that.” Indeed, they had, going over all sorts of possibilities. There was always a high need for sibling groups, but they’d decided to mainly focus on a single, older kid in need of a stable home. However, Teddy, with his background as one of six kids, was way more open to sibling groups. So Nick hadn’t completely shut that door. “Two. Wow.”
“Yeah. Two. They’re seven and ten.” That Teddy wanted this was clear from his tense posture, high color on his pale cheeks, and the way he kept adjusting that ridiculous costume.
“Good ages.” Nick tried for careful support. He’d been more comfortable with the idea of older kids, the hard-to-place tweens and teens that he saw only too much of on duty. But these two weren’t that far outside the target range from their application. “You did insist on the bunk bed for the room. Tell me a little more.”
Brothers. Brothers they could take camping and fishing. Brothers who might fight over board game pieces but protect each other. Brothers who would fill up the sunny yellow room he’d painted with Teddy. He mulled the idea over, letting a vision take shape. This could maybe work.
“So that’s the thing…” Teddy studied his fingers. “The bunk bed is not going to work. Not with OCFS regulations about who can share a room. It’s a seven-year-old boy. And a ten-year-old girl.”
“Oh.” His vision from a few moments ago faded to be replaced by snippets of past memories. His sister, so wild as a teen and young adult. His quiet nieces whom he never quite knew how to speak to. Teddy’s sisters who spoke a language of crafts and accessories that he couldn’t seem to follow. “Teddy—”
“Can you think about it? Please. Let me tell you a little more?”
“I’m due on duty soon,” he reminded them both. He hated that he was about to use work to escape this conversation, but he wasn’t sure what to make of Teddy’s expectant eyes and soft expression. He’d want to try. Because of course he would. And he’d be good at it because he was Teddy. The real question here was Nick. And he hated that most of all, hated that he was probably about to disappoint Teddy by not giving a quick green-light to this potential placement.
“Okay. Here’s what I’m going to do.” Teddy set a white folder on the table. “I’m going to leave the information Joyce gave me here. We need to get back to her first thing in the morning. Wake me up when you get back from your shift, and we can talk more after you’ve thought about it.”
“Teddy.” He reached for Teddy’s hand. “I’m not saying no, okay? I just—”
“Need to think.” Teddy sighed. “I expected that. I did. And we do have a small house. I know all that. I kinda got excited though and…”
“I know.” Standing, Nick removed Teddy’s green hat and kissed the top of his blond curls. “I love your heart, Teddy. I really do.”
“And I love you.” He gave Nick a small, hopeful smile that landed like a dart to Nick’s chest. He did not want to be the one to crush that spirit.
And thus, he found himself reading the social work profile in the folder over and over during quiet moments. He almost called Teddy a dozen times as it was a slow night, and he knew Teddy probably wouldn’t sleep much, not with this news and not with Nick gone. Hours later, Beckett, his boss, who had a family large enough to rival Teddy’s McNally family clan, came on duty. And finally, Nick could ask the question that had plagued him his entire shift. “What do you know about girls?”
Chapter Two
Thump. Bump. Teddy wasn’t sure exactly when he’d fallen asleep, but apparently, he had, in the big bed that was always far too lonely without Nick to fill it. And they hadn’t exactly left things on the best terms the night before. They’d had a stilted goodbye when what Teddy really wanted was to spend hours poring over the profile with Nick, showing him all the little details that had jumped out at him. But Nick hadn’t been lying—the police force was shorthanded as it was. No way could he call in simply because they’d had news and Teddy needed to talk.
And he was Nick, broody and stoic, and he’d needed to think. Teddy understood all that. He did. But it sure hadn’t made falling asleep any easier. Except he must have at some point, because now it was the crack of dawn and someone was making a lot of noise in Nick’s workout room.