I nodded numbly, wrapped my hands around the cup, and let the heat soak into my chilled hands.
You For Her.
Addison silently screaming behind her gag as he burned her flesh.
I twitched and convulsed as I too felt the pain she must have felt, a phantom-like wound searing into the tender skin of my forearm.
Nausea built up in my throat. I set the cup down and dashed to the bathroom where I hurled until I couldn’t physically anymore. Vomit had splashed on my shirt and clung to my chest and neck.
Gross.
I washed my hands and skin as best as I could and then rinsed out my mouth. I needed a shower, a toothbrush, and a clean shirt. I opened the door and Sonia stood leaning against the opposite wall.
“Come on, I’ll take you down to my place. You can shower and change into something of mine.”
I nodded but didn’t speak. There were no words left inside me.
Sonia put her arm around my shoulder and led me into the living room.
“Oh, baby girl.” Mama Kerri clucked sweetly but I didn’t have it in me to respond.
The numbness had taken over.
“I’m going to take Simone down to my place, get her a shower and a change of clothes. Tell Jonah where we went when he gets off his call.” She gestured to where Jonah was pacing on the balcony.
“Okay, my darling chicklets. Be back quick. I need you all in the same place right now.”
Sonia nodded and led me out of the apartment, onto the elevator, and to her condo. I followed her into her room where she took me straight to the shower. She yanked off my stinky, vomit-coated shirt and tossed it into her hamper. I kicked off my shoes and toed off my socks, unbuttoned my jeans, and removed my underwear while she started the shower. The second it was steaming she left the bathroom to me but kept the door open.
Probably because she was worried I’d pass out again.
I stepped into the steamy space and ducked my head under the water, allowing it to heat my body from the outside in. For a long time, I stood there just letting the water pound against me. My mind playing the image of Addison being tortured on that video over and over.
Eventually my skin got so hot it broke me out of the horror cyclone of imagery spinning in my brain and I quickly washed my hair and body. Once completed, I got out and found a new toothbrush, a soft towel, clean underwear, and a sports bra, along with a pair of black yoga pants, a tank top, and a purple zip-up hoodie.
I brushed my teeth so hard my gums bled. Again, I didn’t care. There wasn’t much I cared about except how bad I’d screwed up my opportunity to save my sister from uncertain torture and likely death.
I’d never forgive myself if Addison died. Not ever. It was my fault she was in that chair and not me. I’d gotten away. She might not. And I’d have to live with that reality.
You For Her.
Those three little words would destroy me.
It should have been me and not her.
Not sweet, kind, beautiful, filled with life Addison. The girl had a hard enough upbringing before she came to stay at Kerrighan House. Left at the fire station as a brand new baby. Shuffled from foster home to foster home. Some okay, most not. Addison had her own demons, but she’d been saved. By Mama Kerri and her love. Just like we all had.
We’d been given a second chance at life.
I should have died on that dark road at the hands of the Backseat Strangler. If I had, Addison wouldn’t be where she is right now. Helen wouldn’t be dead. Katrina from my apartment wouldn’t be dead. That bodyguard who’d been sent to keep Addy safe wouldn’t be dead. That was three lives, not including Addy’s, that were hanging over my head.
You For Her.
I closed my eyes and finished getting dressed. Sonia was waiting for me in a similar outfit when I came out.
“Feel better?”
I nodded but I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel better. Not if Addison didn’t walk away from this alive.
Sonia hugged me and I gave her that. She needed it. I’d give my sisters anything I had to give. Even trade me for them.
She let out a long breath and put her arm around my shoulders again. Which was probably a good thing because I might have actually crumbled to the floor in a ball of misery if she hadn’t.
“Let’s go. Mama will worry.”
We left her condo and walked to the elevator. She pressed the button and then stood next to me. I stared at my feet; visions of Addy tied up flashed across my mind in a twisted horror reel I couldn’t shake.
When the doors opened, Sonia cried out as an electrical sound pierced the air. Her body jolted forward and tumbled through the open elevator doors, and she fell to the floor in a lifeless heap.
My survival instincts must have kicked in because I’d barely realized my sister had been tased as I spun around to face my attacker. I saw nothing but a man in black with two cut out eyeholes and a third for his mouth when a black gun came barreling at my face. It was too fast to block. Too fast to fight. Light exploded behind my eyes as I was clocked with the butt of the gun. And for the second time that day I blacked out.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
The sound of water hitting metal sounded through my head. Something icy cold and flat was pressed up against the side of my face. I’d attempted to blink open my eyes, but a rush of pain exploded throughout my head.
“Psssst. Simone, wake up. Wake up, honey. Hurry.” I heard a voice I recognized, not far away, but still the sound was waving in and out.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
What the hell was that noise?
“Simone, come on. Get up!” I heard it louder, the words spinning in my brain on a useless empty hamster wheel until the dots started to connect.
I’d been hit in the face with a gun.
Sonia had been tased.
Addison had been kidnapped.
“Si, please, sister, wake up. Now before he gets back.” A sob tore from that familiar voice and I rubbed my face against the cold, flat surface and opened my good eye. It was dark. Dank. Cold. My face was smushed flat to the gritty cold concrete under me.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
I rolled over onto my side. My hands were tied behind my back and I was in the corner of a big open space. Maybe a basement.
“Simone…please wake up.”
I heard the plea rasp low and throaty from the female figure twenty feet away. Her head was down in front of her as if she couldn’t hold it up any longer. There was rope tying her chest, legs, and arms to an old wooden chair.
“Addy?” I croaked, my voice sounding as though I’d swallowed glass shards.
Her head came up and those green eyes I adored met my gaze. “Simone!” She gave a shaky small smile. “Can you move? Can you get up?”
I swallowed against the nausea filling my stomach, ebbing up my throat. I breathed in and out slowly for a minute getting a hold on my physical issues.
“Um, I don’t know. Where is he?” I grated through a throat that was so dry it felt like sand coated my esophagus.
She shook her head. “I don’t know. He came in an hour ago and dumped you there. Then he left.”
I used my core strength and swiveled up to sit on my hip with my legs tucked to the side. They were zip-tied together, but if I could get on my back and stretch my arms, dislocating my shoulder, maybe I could get them under me.
“I’m gonna get my arms in front of me.” I announced my plan.