“I told you, I’m needed by my club right now,” I tell her. “I’d much rather be here with you all the time, but I can’t right now. How many times do I gotta explain that to you?”
“What would you say if I said I’m gonna take off? Go back to Vegas, see my mom, visit Stormi?” she snaps.
“If that’s what you want,” I say. “But I’d prefer it if you stayed, and then I’ll take you to do all those things as soon as I can.”
“I want to believe you, I really do, but at the end of the day, I’m all alone here, and you don’t even call me when you say you’re gonna,” she says.
I have no idea what more to say or how to convince her. I do know I absolutely do not want her to just disappear from here. I’m afraid I’ll never see her again if she leaves now.
I hold out the two envelopes I’m holding. “Could you look at these pictures and see if they’re all Sinners, that no one’s out of place?”
I’m pulling out the wad that’s just the guys, and what I look up at her face I very nearly take a step back from the cold anger on her face.
“You just came here to use me in more of your murdering schemes?” she snaps, speaking much too loudly given the thinness of the walls in this place. “That’s all you really care about, isn’t it? It’s not me at all, just what I can do for you?”
I drop both the envelopes, the photos flying everywhere, and close the distance between us, pulling her to her feet by her elbows, before I’m even fully aware of what I’m doing. Then I grab the back of her head and kiss her like I should’ve done the moment I walked in here. Like I should’ve never stopped the last night we were together. Like I’ve never kissed a woman before. Not even her.
I want her for her. And damn it, if words aren’t enough to show her that, then I’ll show her.
She fights me at first, her fists jabbing me in the chest as she tries to push me away. But she’s not trying very hard. And before long she slides her hands around my back and pulls me close, kissing me back just as eagerly, hungrily, and deeply as I’m kissing her. We’ve only been apart for two days, but it feels like an eternity and we have to make up for it right away. Not that we ever can.
Brenda
I woke up in the black darkness just before dawn, the time when the whole world sleeps the deep sleep. I couldn’t get back to sleep. All my past mistakes, bad choices, and fuck ups kept popping up in my mind, not least of which leading Josh to his death at the hands of the Sinners over a measly twenty grand split three ways. All because I chose him to take me away from Monarch and the Kings after I grew bored with the old man. Leaving my mom in a nasty, decrepit home because it was what I could afford easily and couldn’t bear to face her glassy-eyed stare each time I visited. I stopped visiting her long before I left. Chasing away my best friend in the whole world—Stormi—who after a lifetime of knowing me couldn’t even tell me to my face that she was leaving. Leaving me behind with the Sinners. Who tried to kill me because of it.
On and on like that my mind whirled, my thoughts stretching between guilt, remorse, regret, anger, and rage. Cycling endlessly. There was no place for love in all of that roiling pile of shit, yet the sweet current of soft flowing sweetness—the river knowing Colt showed me deep inside—was there constantly. Faint and vague, but clearly recognizable, clearly felt.
Despite it, I decided to leave. So when I saw him ride into the parking lot, I stifled the butterflies in my stomach and forced all the happiness from my heart, focusing only on how to send him packing in the swiftest way possible.
It was going according to plan.
I was saying my piece, successfully ignoring the growing alarm and pain in his eyes.
Then he kissed me.
Deep and hard, like a drowning man holding onto a raft that’s his last chance of survival.
Our survival.
I fight it. But there’s no standing against the soft, flowing river of sweetness as it starts rushing and rising, becoming a deep sea fed by his kiss, as his tongue joining mine, tying us together.
The waves rise and crash and wash away all the darkness that’s been plaguing me since early this morning, leaving only sweet, soft love behind. Only the need to enjoy this moment, this man, this tsunami of love and worry about nothing else exists as he tears off the shirt I wore to bed and lays me down on my back on sheets still warm and crumpled from my tossing and turning. They’re about to get even more crumpled, and I can’t wait.
I watch him remove his clothes, watch his perfect, strong, solid body come into view. By the time he finally joins me in bed, I’m so ready for more kisses that my whole body was tingling with the anticipation of that bliss.
He doesn’t disappoint, kissing me forehead to knees and everything in between before finally pulling down my panties and settling on my clit. The tingles of pleasure washing through me turn to sparks, then tiny flames as his tongue and lips and teeth bring me to the very edge of madness—the kind I wouldn’t mind enduring forever.
My whole body is still throbbing from the orgasm his lips gave me, my body still in throes of bliss, as he slides his massive cock into my pussy, causing the smoldering coals of the last flames of pleasure to rise high again and consume me in their searing licks as another orgasm ravages me. It’s so strong and powerful, I see nothing but flame and feel nothing, but pleasure so raw and strong, I forget how to breathe.
He’s still thrusting into me as that red, hot pleasure subsides, his breaths jagged, his cock filling me to the hilt. I meet the thrusts with my own, offering all I am to him, ride him as he rides me, our need for each other, for the pleasure only the two of us can give each other, equal and balanced, and so vast it fills the entire world.
His groans grow faster, keeping time with his thrusts and I try to fight it, try to prolong this new rising wave of pleasure from consuming me, I can’t.
We come at the same time, him buried deep inside me, joined so seamlessly there’s no dividing line between my pleasure and his, my orgasm and his.
It lasts and lasts, the roiling sea of passion and lust and desire and love only very slowly receding to the softly flowing river that can erode all, even the darkest thoughts, even the most terrible mistake, even the most heinous acts.
He’s caressing my hair, sliding it back from my face and behind my ear as he hovers over me, leaning on one elbow. Tiny sparkling things, fairies quite possibly, are floating around us, encircling us. I don’t want to be anywhere but right here. I don’t think I ever did.
“I think I’m in love with you,” he whispers, the words entering not through my ears but directly through my heart, swelling the river of sweet softness, making it thick and opaque.
Never has a guy said that to me and meant it. He means it. I know it in every cell in my body.
“I love you too,” I whisper back.
Never have I meant those words when I spoke them. But I meant them with everything I am at this moment.
He leans down and kisses me, and the flickering, multicolored sparkles stay with me as I close my eyes, and fall back into the thick, warm river of sweetness, the river that is our love. I don’t even have to look to trust that it will catch me. Always.