‘Oh, I love it, Scarlett, and I love you,’ she says, swivelling around on her chair to hug me properly.
‘I love you too. Now, I best be off,’ I tell them, hugging my dad and gathering my things before heading to the front door. It’s getting late and I still have to pack.
‘Be safe and say hello to Devon for me,’ Mum says as she and Dad wave from the front door. I wave back and blow kisses as I precariously race towards the village green on the icy ground, rushing to pick up a few things before I need to head home. I manage to pull together a pick ‘n’ mix from Mrs May’s sweet shop just before the clock strikes five – one that includes all Devon’s favourite childhood sweets, just as a small peace offering for when I see him again, and when I close the door of the small shop behind me I almost bump into Ruby.
‘Sorry,’ I mumble, stepping aside so she can get past me, but Ruby doesn’t move. She takes a step back blocking my path.
‘You really think you stand a chance now that Devon’s a big movie star? You really think his publicist is going to allow you two to date just because you jump on a plane and make some silly grand romantic gesture? Grow up, Scarlett, and get a clue. You wear beanie hats and your mum’s clothes – you look like you’re an overgrown child. Devon needs someone who understands the limelight and the glitz and glam,’ Ruby informs me, looking me up and down the way she has done since we were running around in reception class. But instead of feeling my usual anger or shame, I hold my head up high. Today I’m done with letting Ruby make me feel so small.
Also, how bloody quickly does word travel around this village? How did she know I was going to New York?
‘Oh, the whole town thinks it’s so adorable, like they’re rooting for the childhood sweethearts to reunite. But you’re going to make a fool of yourself, Scarlett.’ My stomach twists, no pressure then. I have no idea why Ruby hates me this much and feels the need to give me this much of a bruising, but it’s time to put a stop to it.
‘Devon’s a man now, Scarlett, and he needs a real woman. He’s grown up, unlike you.’ She adds another dig in before I can open my mouth.
‘You know what, Ruby?’ I can feel my insides bubbling. All the years of allowing myself to feel worthless, not good enough for my mum, for men, for anyone, are over now. ‘No, I don’t dress like you, Ruby, and I don’t like high heels. I know what the acronym Shazam stands for and I couldn’t tell you anything about being the CEO of a company and nor do I have the desire to be one. I may get giddy at the sight of a pencil crayon and love riding my skateboard but I’m still a woman. I might not meet your standards of sophistication. I may not look like I’ve just walked off a catwalk. I might not always act like I have my crap together, and it’s because I don’t.
‘This whole being an adult, paying the bills, working a nine-to-five – it’s all terrifying to me. I want to be an artist, I want to draw superheroes every day and skateboard to get around – that’s who I am. And I’ve been ashamed of who I am for far too long, trying to please everyone and be what everyone else expects me to be, but I’m done. You can believe what you want about Devon, but you don’t know him like I know him, and you don’t care about him like I do. This whole glitzy and glamorous lifestyle you keep harping on about, it’s not him. Well, no actually I take that back, it is him, it’s a small part of him now but you can’t pick and choose the parts of people that you like – you have to love all of them,’ I say defiantly, digging my boots into the snow and feeling like I should have stood up to Ruby a long time ago.
Ruby doesn’t say anything; she just stands there, eyebrows raised, nose in the air, her lips pursed curtly. A few icy moments pass. I pop the brown paper bag into my handmade recycled cork shopping bag, made by Emily, and go to walk away.
‘Oh, poor Scarlett, still holding on to the past because her future looks so bleak. I couldn’t possibly burst your bauble so close to Christmas. I’ll let you have your little fantasy; after all, what else have you got? But don’t say I didn’t warn you, that man needs a woman who can satisfy him,’ Ruby says, her words sly and condescending.
I shake my head in sad disbelief at how someone can be so mean. But when I go to take another step I pause as her words hit me in full force.
‘You do realise you are judging Devon based on his looks and new physique and his new career status? Just like you and so many people judge me because of the beanie and my tomboy ways. Inside, Devon is still Devon, a nerd with a heart of gold, and I am no less a real woman,’ I say feeling well and truly like I could lead The Avengers into battle right now.
‘You a real—’ Ruby scoffs but I interrupt.
‘Ruby, stop. That’s enough now. This has got to stop. I can’t stand here and listen to it anymore. What did I ever do to you that’s caused you to hate me so much?’ I ask, my voice firm, but soft.
Ruby’s eyes dart to the snowy ground, then around the square. I don’t move. I want to be patient; I want to hear her out. It’s the first time I have seen Ruby speechless and when she doesn’t answer for a long moment, I’m about to wish her a happy Christmas and be on my way when she opens her mouth and her voice comes out in a whisper so quiet, I have to lean in to hear her.
‘You were always so yourself. You and Devon were always so happy and laughing and having fun, like you didn’t have a care in the world about what other people thought of you,’ she mutters.
I nearly drop my shopping bag on the floor, my whole body goes numb and the tears in my eyes quickly chill my cheeks in the icy air. ‘But, Ruby, everything you said to me – the way you treated me, all those horrible comments – they hurt, they hurt so bad that I started to hide myself. I started to care.’ I barely get my words out; my voice sounds so small.
‘Yes, well, I’m sorry for that but at least you got to feel what it was like for me always having to be pretty and perfect,’ she retorts, her voice becoming hard again.
‘I’m sorry about whoever made you feel like you had to be pretty and perfect. I never thought you had to be pretty and perfect. I would have just liked you to be nice and if you would have talked to me, I would have understood. I was constantly battling my mum growing up. I was constantly battling you, Ruby, and then I let you win,’ I tell her. I’m not angry; instead I’m more shocked and pained by her confession.
‘Well, whatever, it doesn’t matter now,’ she replies curtly.
I grip on to my bag tighter, trying to process this conversation. It did matter, at least it had mattered to me for twenty-three years, but today has already taken a lot out of me and I need to start looking forward and not letting my past define me. ‘Look, I’ve got to go but I hope you have a lovely Christmas, Ruby, and I hope you find who you want to be and have the courage to be her and love her,’ I finish and walk off.
22
For someone who has never stepped foot outside of Springhollow, I think I’m doing a pretty decent job of navigating the Big Apple. Granted the taxi man helped a lot, bringing me from the airport to right outside my hotel and then scribbling directions on a piece of paper for me of how to get to the Comic Con convention centre tomorrow. I did receive an odd look at first when I explained that my phone didn’t have internet access. Is that really such an alien concept these days? There’s a lot of honking and loud noises when I do get out of the taxi and I find myself staring up at The New Yorker, A Wyndham Hotel. The building itself looks bigger than my whole village.