Prologue
Sevyn
2 Months Ago
The catastrophic scene that just unfolded before me has left me rocked. I didn’t wait for Phoenix to give me the green light before showing up here, and now I may have ruined everything. The hurt. The disgust. The eyes never lie. Harlow made it blatantly clear that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with either of us. I watch helplessly as my brother paces frantically, running his hands through his hair. With each distraught step, I witness his regression back to a place I know well. I’ve seen it, so I recognize it. He hits the wall near the kitchen before resting his head on his forearm. The wall is the only thing holding him up. “Fuck this shit,” he mumbles to himself a few times. The Phoenix I grew up with is back, and it fucking rips my heart open. He let someone in, and in its brevity, he was truly happy. Somehow, Harlow reached him—two broken pieces mended each other. Now she’s gone because she feels betrayed. The thing is, Phoenix was going to tell her. He just needed time. Our story is not a pleasant one. Yes, we are identical twins, but there is a reason we are carbon copies of one another. A fucked-up reason, but necessary all the same.
I want to go to him, but I’m to blame for this. I needed to talk with him, and I wasn’t getting through to him on his phone. My haste has unraveled our plan. I can’t even concentrate on the reason I came here in the first place. It will have to wait.
“I’m sorry, brother,” I say from the sofa. I know these words are futile, but I don’t know what else to say. “Tell me what I can do to fix this.”
“Nothing, Sevyn. There is fucking nothing you can do. You’ve done enough, don’t you think?” Phoenix hits the wall again, and pieces of sheetrock crumble to the floor. “I’ve fucking lost her.”
“Phoenix—” I start, but he holds up his hand to silence me.
“Don’t! It’s done. This is the reason I don’t fucking let anyone get close to me. You give them the power to hurt you. I won’t make that mistake again.” He walks over to the window with his hands still in a fist and just stares out into the distance. “I didn’t deserve her anyway,” he adds faintly.
I can’t stand here and watch him self-destruct—become a shell of his old self. Knowing I did this is more than I can stand right now. In one instant, I’ve managed to wreck two people with my carelessness. I have to get the hell out of here. I can’t be here for Phoenix because he will not let me—not this version of him.
“I’m so sorry, Phoenix. Just know, you do deserve someone like Harlow. She needs someone like you.” I get up from the sofa and head toward the stairs leading to the first floor. “I’ll be in touch. I hope things work themselves out. Give it time and then tell her everything. I think she will understand.”
Phoenix turns to face me now. “What did you come for? What did you have to tell me that was so important it couldn’t have fucking waited until I called you back?”
“Nothing that can’t wait now. I should’ve just waited. I know I fucked up,” I retort.
Phoenix closes the distance between us in a blur. He’s nearly nose to nose with me now. “Are you serious right now? You just turned my damn world upside down, and now you want to leave without giving me an explanation as to why? Think again, brother.” His nostrils flare, and I know he is restraining himself from pummeling the shit out of me.
“It’s about our father,” I start.
“Your father, but continue,” he corrects. He is wound tight. His body is stiff, and those fists are at his side, ready to engage.
“He’s dying!” I blurt out. I watch as the wind is knocked from his sails with that piece of news. His face falls before he works to school his features.
“Good. At least one good thing came out of this fucking disastrous day.” His shoulders drop, and his fists loosen. His words are at odds with how he looks. He looks lost, and I don’t know how to fix it. I know he doesn’t mean what he just said. He has every reason to hate our father, yet at this moment, I’m not so sure that he does, despite his vile words.
He turns on his heels and heads upstairs to the third floor. Our conversation is over.
I’ll go for now. He needs time to digest this news and work his shit out with Harlow. Our plan can wait. As I walk through the bushes to the motorcycle I have hidden, guilt gnaws at me. The thing is, I had an instant connection with Harlow. I look toward the docks, and I remember the first time I saw her there. Everyone was out enjoying the lake, and she just sat there in the fucking August heat in baggy-ass jeans and a black T-shirt. I shouldn’t have been attracted to her, but I was. Something about her intrigued me. Then she opened her mouth, and her sass pulled me in further. Phoenix had already warned me about their little spat, so I would be armed with the info I needed to double as him, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to let her stay mad. I didn’t change out of my clothes either. I sat my ass on that hot fucking dock with her and was determined to see her smile.
I knew she could never be mine, but each time I doubled as Phoenix in the house, my will was tested. Together, Phoenix and I had a plan, and she wasn’t a part of it. When Phoenix fell for her, I knew I needed to close the door on the possibility of Harlow and me. I know what my brother is feeling as far as Harlow is concerned because, sadly, I feel it too. I wanted to run after her just as much as he did. She managed to get through to both of us, and now she’s gone. Now I don’t have to pretend or keep my feelings to myself. I should be relieved, but instead, I hate that I squandered a chance at happiness for my brother. I really do hope they work it out, even at the expense of my own happiness.
Chapter One
Harlow
I stare into the full-length mirror in the dorm room that I used to share with Irelyn. The spring semester here at the University of Alabama starts in a few days, yet all my classes are online. I stare at the reflection of the dumbass looking back at me in the mirror, who might be about to make yet another mistake she’ll regret. I can’t believe I agreed to go on tour with Phoenix Rising. When I walked—no, when I stormed—away from the lake house two months ago, I swore I would never see Phoenix or his twin brother ever again. Phoenix nearly destroyed me. He let me fall for him while he and his twin brother substituted in and out of my life at their fucking convenience. Was any of it real? Hell, I don’t even know who my feelings were for.
I desperately wanted to escape Alabama at that moment, but my life was here now. I had school obligations. Not to mention, I was in Irelyn’s car at the time. These things kept me from running, but it was Irelyn who helped me keep my sanity. She wouldn’t let me go back to being the insecure girl who hid behind dark makeup and baggy clothes. Every day was a struggle to just exist, but I took it one day at a time. Although I still hurt, the pain fades a little more with each passing day.
“Are you having second thoughts?” Irelyn asks as she comes in and catches me staring blankly in the mirror.
“Well, it’s not like I’m anxious to be around Phoenix again. That part sucks, but this is not for him. I can’t let him fuck up this opportunity for me.” Irelyn nods approvingly.