In the end, they did a three-song encore, and the crowd still couldn’t get enough of them. After the last song, I headed backstage to capture some reactions. My press pass got me past the burly security guards who were having a hell of a time keeping fans out of the inner sanctum.
Fighting my way through an army of fans, press, roadies, and others whose roles I could not identify, I finally made it to where Alicia was standing with the band. Before I even got to them, I could tell that they were pumped up and full of energy about the performance.
Jared had a sweaty arm slung around Alicia’s shoulders, but she didn’t seem to mind as she chatted a mile a minute to all those standing around her.
There were people everywhere, talking and laughing and popping champagne. It looked like a monster of a party was getting started backstage. The guys were all dripping with sweat and were peeling off their shirts and being handed new ones, but they all looked exceptionally happy.
Even Caleb. It was unusual for him to seem so genuinely carefree and ecstatic. Even when we were spending time alone together, he was always very passionate, but he hadn’t struck me as being particularly happy.
“Little Diamond!” Matt exclaimed when I drew closer to them, being the first to spot me.
“Congrats, that was epic,” I told them honestly. “You guys did a great job.”
A chorus of “Thanks, Kelly” went up, and Alicia gave me a quick squeeze before jumping back into work mode. There were hordes of reporters trying to get interviews with the band, and Alicia waved at me, then sent Matt and Nick off to a male blogger I recognized who was waiting for them. When they were settled where she needed them, she guided Jared and Dom to another reporter, leaving only Caleb behind, presumably so I could interview him.
Our gazes caught, and Caleb’s eyes didn’t leave mine for a second as I closed the last few yards between us.
“Hey,” he said, tugging his clean shirt over his head to conceal those drool-worthy abs. Although it meant I couldn’t see them, I found myself relieved that that also meant that none of the other women in here could ogle him either.
“Hey, yourself.” I grinned, itching to reach for his hand and to rise up onto my tiptoes to kiss him, but since we’d agreed on keeping this between us, I did neither of those things. “Have you got a second?”
Caleb nodded and jerked his head to a hallway that seemed to contain dressing rooms and other side rooms. “Sure thing. Let’s go.”
As soon as the door to the side room closed behind us, I was in Caleb’s arms and finally able to say hi properly. I leaned up onto my toes, my hands on the sides of his neck for balance, and kissed him like I’d been wanting to all day.
His arms closed around my waist as he held me to him, and he kissed me back as deeply. For a few long minutes, we stayed like that. Caleb smelled of sweat and smoke and pyrotechnics, but it made for a heady combination.
The stubble on the underside of his jaw scraped my palms, and he tasted like the energy drink I’d seen him toss into the trash when I spotted the band earlier. His hands dropped to my ass, and he pulled me roughly toward him, releasing a low groan in the back of his throat.
We kissed until I was breathless and wanting, but knowing that now was not time made me break the kiss and step back a little, smiling up at him. “Congratulations, you gorgeous, talented man! The show was incredible. What a way to kick off the tour.”
“Thanks. It did go pretty fucking awesomely well.” He pulled me back into his arms and grinned down at me. “Jared sure brought it, didn’t he? Don’t think there’ll be any more rumors about him, or us, losing any edge after that.”
“No, I don’t think so. But he wasn’t the only one who brought it. You were breathtaking up there. I could watch you every night.”
Caleb smirked and smacked my ass lightly. “Oh wait, it’s a good thing you’re going to be watching us most nights then.”
I stuck the tip of my tongue out a him, smiling wide. “I can’t wait. You guys have set the bar insanely high. It’s going to be a tough one to beat.”
I could’ve been imagining it, but I could’ve sworn that his chest expanded a little bit. Confidence oozed from his every pore in a way most men wouldn’t have be able to pull off, wearing skinny leather pants and black eyeliner smudged underneath his smoldering eyes.
“We’ll beat it. You’ll see.”
“I don’t doubt it. You guys were electric up there. I really think that this tour, combined with how successful the album release was, are going to put things over the top for you. Well done. I’m really proud of you, Caleb.”
The corners of his mouth dropped, and he suddenly looked a whole lot less happy. I was puzzled until I remembered what he’d told me during our first interview about the lobsters, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why he was suddenly so sullen.
He was unhappy about my comment about the levels of success I thought they were going to reach. I knew how he felt about getting too big, how certain he was that it wasn’t going to last, but he should’ve been enjoying it while it lasted. It was unimaginable to me how someone whose dreams were coming true could be so negative about it.
It was time to quit beating around the bush. I had to ask him about it point blank. “There are thousands of bands around the world who would give absolutely anything to be in your position right now. Why does success bother you so much?”
Caleb clenched his jaw, and a spark in his eyes went out. “Because success has led to sacrifice for me.”
“That might be a part of it, Caleb. But it’s just a small part of it. I don’t think you know anymore what it actually is that you want.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t know what I’ve sacrificed to be here. Maybe I don’t know what I want anymore, but that’s not your problem, is it?” Gone was warm, excited Caleb with his eager lips from minutes ago. I barely recognized the man standing in front of me now.
“It could be. If you want me to, I’m willing to be there at your side and to help you figure it out. I could be there for you.”
Eyes narrowing, he crossed his arms defensively, raised an eyebrow, and shot me a challenging look. “Oh really? You’re willing to stand by my side, are you? Tell me Kelly, would you give up your job if it came to that? How long would you actually be by my side?”
I was so shocked by his mocking tone and sudden hostility that I couldn’t immediately come up with an answer. Caleb took my silence as my answer and shoved his hands deep into his pockets, brows drawn together.
“That’s what I thought. I think you’ve got the wrong idea. I don’t need you to be there for me or to stay at my side. I don’t need your help. You’re just another notch on my bed post. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Each word that he spat out felt like he was slapping me with it. It made me so damn angry that I was thrown out of my speechless daze, rage coloring my cheeks and making a blob form in my tummy. “That’s not fair, Caleb. Don’t—”
“Hate to be the one that has to break it to you, but life’s not fair.” Caleb gave me a last, long look, twisted the doorknob so violently that I thought it might come off, and stormed out without another word.