Kelly left my room shortly after midnight, despite all my attempts to convince her to stay. She was adamant that she needed sleep. It was after noon, and I still hadn’t heard a peep from her again yet. It was probably for the best. Dealing with Kelly and Liz at the same time didn’t appeal to me.
Well, dealing with Kelly appealed to me. Dealing with Elizabeth, not so much. It was weird to hear her voice again after all these years, but I knew that seeing her was going to be next-level weird.
Wiping my palms on my jeans, I froze when there was a soft knock at my door. I didn’t get nervous to play in front of thousands of people, do live streams that could be broadcast to millions, but I was beyond nervous for this.
It wasn’t because I still had feelings for her. It was just because I felt like all of this was best left in the past. Another knock sounded, and I knew that it was time to face my past. I paused with my hand on the doorknob, dragged my hand through my hair, and then opened the door.
“Caleb, hi.” Elizabeth smoothed the front of her dress. It was more of a nervous gesture than a necessary one. Her pale pink dress matched the cardigan she was wearing and the smudge of lipstick on her thin lips. Auburn hair curled to her shoulders and was held back off her forehead with shiny barrettes.
Seeing who Elizabeth had become jarred me. This wasn’t the girl I fell in love with or the one who left me. This was a woman who had her shit together and didn’t want anything to do with my world. The realization hit me straight in the gut, but it didn’t make it any less true.
It was only her eyes that were the same, a fiery brown that seemed to peer into the deepest recesses of one’s soul. The smattering of freckles that I knew covered her nose and cheeks were hidden by a layer of makeup, and strangely, I missed them.
As different as she was, she was still Elizabeth, and that knowledge caused a lot of old emotions to come rushing back. The anger, betrayal, and disappointment over what she did, most notably.
My jaw ticked, and I tensed, forcing myself to relax before greeting her and stepping aside so she could enter the suite. “Elizabeth. Thanks for coming.”
Following me into the suite, an awkward silence stretched between us for several long seconds. She cleared her throat as I headed to the bank of windows, once again staring out across the tranquil bay.
“So, uh, I’ve heard that Destitute’s new album is doing well,” she commented, her voice soft and fragile. “I’m proud of you. The success the band has reached is really something. Congratulations.”
“Thanks,” I answered gruffly. Tucking my thumbs into the pockets of my jeans, I decided that her attempt at small talk was at least helping to ease the tense silence, even if the words hung meaningless in the air. “How have you been? Did you ever pursue teaching?”
Elizabeth’s dream had always been a teaching career, middle school if memory served. Pride lit up her eyes as she smiled. “I did. I’m a teacher now. Sixth and seventh graders.”
“Congratulations.” I returned her earlier sentiment. “Is it everything you hoped it would be?”
“Everything and more.” She nodded enthusiastically, and some of the frost melted from her posture. Then it was back almost as quickly as it disappeared. The soft smile dropped from her face, and she crossed her arms like she was defending herself from me. “How about superstardom? How’s that working out for you?”
I bristled. “You know it was never about that for me.”
Narrowing her eyes, she looked me over. She stared at my messy dark hair, not brushed into place the way she used to like it, past the piercing in my eyebrows and the tattoos on my arms, ending at my bare feet and ratty jeans.
“Maybe not, but it looks like it suits you. You always did love your body art.”
“Thinking you made a mistake now?” I cocked a brow at her and watched as a spark of anger lit in her eyes. It made me want to keep going. I turned in a slow circle with my arms out, motioning toward my suite. “Especially now that you see what you’ve been missing out on? How rich and famous I’ve become.”
Lips pursed, she hugged herself tighter, and an involuntary shiver shot down her spine. When her eyes met mine again, they were filled with remorse but not regret. “No, I don’t think I made a mistake. Do I regret cheating on you? Yes. I do every day. That wasn’t fair, and I don’t know that I’ll ever forgive myself fully for it, but leaving you? I don’t regret that, Caleb.”
Surprise reverberated through me at her words. It shouldn’t have, since she’d never looked me up or tried to get me back, but I was still a little shocked that she was so blatantly plain and honest about it. I appreciated it.
Elizabeth chewed on her lip, and I practically saw the moment that she decided that since she was talking, she may as well say her piece. “I never wanted anything but a quiet future. You guys had the big dreams, but they were never mine.”
“That’s why you cheated on me? Different ideologies?” The words were out before I’d even had time to consider whether I should’ve asked the question or not, but now that I had, I wouldn’t have taken it back even if I could.
The question had been plaguing me for years. If she could speak openly, so could I. She flinched a little at my tone but then visibly rallied and shook her head sadly. “No. It wasn’t because we wanted different things. Not entirely. Ultimately, I wanted to make sure that we had a clean and severe break. I didn’t want to be tempted to follow you to L.A., and I didn’t want you coming back for me, or leaving Destitute out of guilt or some misplaced sense of loyalty toward me.”
“It wouldn’t have been misplaced, Elizabeth. We were engaged. My loyalty was supposed to lie with you.” My tone was clipped, and my frustration was almost palpable in the air between us.
Tears sprang to her eyes as she took in what I was saying and my reaction to her explanation even so many years later. “It would’ve been misplaced. We weren’t good together toward the end. Surely, you saw that. I wanted the quiet life, a dog and a white picket fence, two point four kids. You wanted… the world. And you deserved it. You always were talented.”
“Of course I realized we had problems, but I was willing to fight for us, to work through our problems.” I was quickly losing control of the volume of my voice, but I didn’t care anymore. I’d waited long enough for these answers.
“That’s exactly why I had to do it, Caleb. Don’t you see? We wouldn’t have let each other go otherwise. One or the other of us would’ve gone back on what we wanted. All I did was make sure that neither of us could. It hurt me to do it. You don’t have to believe me, but it did.”
“I’m sure.” My reply dripped with sarcasm, but I wasn’t buying the shit she was selling. Even if it had hurt her, it’d still been her choice to fuck one of my best friends to ensure a “clean and severe break”. Fuck that.
“It did, Caleb. I loved you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, just not the life you wanted for us. For you. I want babies. You’ve always known that. Babies with a solid and stable home to come back to and a daddy to put them to bed at night.”
“I have a house,” I bit out, taunting. I knew exactly what she meant. I just didn’t want to.