I watch as he pours the brown liquid healthily into them. “I’m all right.”
“And Colleen? I still can’t believe it, man. But then again, you do always play your cards close to the vest.”
“Something like that,” I grumble. “Good job on the wins guys, that was awesome. Can’t believe we’re in the series.”
“Would have been an easier fight if you didn’t put us in the position of losing you on the roster.” Walker’s voice is unreadable.
I hang my head. “You don’t think I know that? I hate that I let my team down.”
“Psh, don’t listen to him, you let no one down. If she’s worth it, then she’s worth it.” Clark, the most unlikely of romantics, hits me with wisdom far beyond his intellect.
“She’s worth it,” I say sagely, taking my glass and downing a large gulp of burning liquid.
“You love her, or else you wouldn’t be willingly facing a firing squad every day,” Walker finally says, tilting his head to observe me.
“I do love her, very much. So much so that I let her go. She balked, got scared a few weeks ago and broke it off. I was going to let her. And then …”
“And then Hannah and Shane happened.” Walker nods his head, finishing my sentence.
“I can’t say I’m shocked by that one. But you guys saw it?” Clark’s eyes turn ominous, like he’d like to sucker punch our ex-teammate, too.
The minute the organization found out about his domestic abuse charges, they dropped Shane faster than a boiling hot potato.
Walker glances at me, and in his eyes, I see the same emotion I saw that night he cradled Hannah to his chest. He understands how I feel about Colleen, how I could give it all up for her, because he feels the same way about a woman who is currently hurting both physically and emotionally in the worst way possible.
“It opened my eyes to everything I was letting pass me by. I was wasting time, pretending that baseball or life without turmoil was more important, or maybe safer, than what my life would be with her in it. Obviously, it’s all blowing up in our faces, but I almost can’t care. Because at the end of the day, I have her by my side. That’s what really matters.”
All three of us drink in unison, and then Clark sputters on a laugh.
“Jesus, you sound like a general about to leave his woman home and go off to war. I need some of your lines to perfect for my next batch of women.”
My eyes practically roll to the back of my head. “You’re a horny asshole.”
“And proud of it,” he beams. “But just know that us two and the rest of the guys are campaigning hard to get you in that starting lineup. Your love life shouldn’t dictate whether you step out onto the field, that’s bullshit.”
When I look at Walker, he’s nodding his head in agreement. A silent truce passes between us, two men who both know how it feels to be in love with the wrong woman.
I just hope that, eventually, it works out for both of us.
39
Colleen
My uncle’s office door is ajar as I make my way to it, the tune of the death march ringing in my ears.
This is what it must feel like to walk into the principal’s office or be called in by your boss, knowing you’re about to get fired.
I knock out of habit, even though Uncle Daniel is pacing the carpet and can clearly see me.
“Come in,” he says in a tone that should be reserved for an annoying fly buzzing around your head.
“You wanted to see me?” I ask politely, though there is an undercurrent of malice under my breath.
He’s been a complete dictator since the news of my relationship came out. Practically forcing my own hand to write my resignation letter, threatening me in meetings in front of our staff, and saying that he’d plant whatever stories he had to get me out. That last one had gone too far, and he mentioned it to Walker, who in turn told him he’d do no such thing. Walker, thankfully, is on my side during this one, and is one of the only people able to keep his father at bay right now.
The thing is, even though the rest of my life is falling down around me, Hayes and I have never been better. I finally get to go over to his house without parking my car around the block. We’re able to talk to each other in the hallways at the stadium without feeling like someone might see us and imply anything about our body language. Not that we’re making out in full view of the entire Pistons staff, obviously I keep it professional while we’re in the building, but it’s nice not to have to ignore my boyfriend when he walks past me.
And we’re able to fall that much more in love, now that this obstacle is removed between us. It’s like, the minute our relationship could be moved from secrecy and shadows, we could allow ourselves to be more open with each other. I’ve been more vulnerable, talking to him about my father and the letter. He was furious when he read it, but glad that I shared it with him. We agreed together that no more contact was needed with that man, that he wasn’t worth my time or tears. Hayes apologized for pushing me on the subject of a confrontation, and could now see it would do no good.
“I don’t know what it is with your side of the family, but you rot the whole fucking carton of us with your actions. First your father, and now you. I knew I shouldn’t have given you this position, that I should have used a loophole in the will.”
He’s trying to sting me, to sink beneath my skin, and it’s working. But I keep my face impassive, not letting him see how much he’s wounding me.
“I admit, we haven’t had the most scandal-free year, but I hardly think my actions are comparable to my fathers.” I make sure to lift my chin and keep from fidgeting.
“This press conference is going to be a disaster,” he growls, and I can feel every ounce of his ire.
“Everyone in that meeting thought it would be a good idea, so I’m not sure why you’re going back on that now,” I point out, politely again.
The rest of the higher-ups in the front office agree that a joint press conference with Hayes and me would be the best thing before the World Series starts. They need to hear directly from us, something that hasn’t happened yet, to take some of the heat off the club before the championship games.
We are also going to address the Shane Giraldi situation during the sit-down as well, for two reasons. One, the team needs to come out hard against what he has done. I am going to speak, and tell them just how vehemently we are against abuse of any kind, specifically against women. It’s also a tactic we’ll use, not that I’m proud of it. But if we can paint the Shane situation as the more notable one, the scandal that people should be paying attention to, maybe it will take some of the spotlight off Hayes and me.
“I’m not sure why you decided to fuck one of our players and put us in this position in the first place. You’ve disgraced this family. You’ve disgraced your job,” he spits, venom flying at me and I almost flinch.
That is enough. I’ve already beaten myself up to hell and back for how much negativity this has caused my team, my family. I’ve warred for months on whether I should let my heart be free to love a good, kind, deserving man. I’m not going to be gaslit and verbally assaulted any longer.