She must hear me move in the bed, her eyes meeting my mine. “Morning, sweet child,” she says through a smile. Putting her book down on her lap, she leans forward and takes my hand in hers. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m not sure yet,” I say, my voice sounding rough. “How long has it been?”
“You were… away for a few weeks. It’s been about a week since Sonny found you. The doctors kept you sedated for a few days to let your body rest and heal. You’ve been in and out of sleep since then.”
I swallow down the words she’s said, trying to process it all. “Where’s Dez?”
She gives me another smile, this one looking sadder. “He’s one room over but hasn’t woken yet.”
“Sonny?” I ask, wondering why he isn’t here, his mother by my side instead.
Dropping my hand, she looks down at her lap. “He’s been busy working.”
Turning my head to look to the ceiling, I pull my lips between my teeth to bite back my sadness his absence makes me feel. It’s not enough though. I feel a hot tear slide down the side of my face.
I take in a stuttered breath and reach up to wipe away my tears. “Can I see Dez?”
“Let me go let the doctor know you’re awake and then we’ll ask,” she says as she walks to the door.
A few minutes later, the doctor comes in and Roisin leaves us. Dr. Weiss is a middle-aged woman with long brown hair and hard-set eyes, but when she talks to me, she sits and takes my hand and is caring and kind, putting me at ease.
She tells me that my physical injuries were mostly superficial but encourages me to speak to a therapist about the trauma I experienced, and I reluctantly nod. It’s not the first time I’ve spoken to someone about my problems, and I know it can help if I’m open to it.
“The baby?” I ask through tears, sure that I lost it after everything I went through and the cramping I felt.
She smiles brightly and says, “Is a fighter like its mom. The baby looks healthy.”
My hand goes to my mouth in shock. “I thought for sure I’d lost it,” I cry.
“Now that you’re fully awake, I’d like the OB to check you and the baby again, but once we saw you were pregnant, we made sure to take precautions to take care of both of you.”
“Thank you.”
“You are a lucky one. I wish we saw more like you,” she tells me, giving my hand a squeeze. “Do you have any more questions for me before I let you rest?”
“Can you tell me how Dez is? Can I see him?”
“All I can tell you is that he wasn’t as lucky as you with his injuries, but he should nonetheless make a full recovery. Or as much as he can, given all that he endured.”
“He did it all for me.” I sniff.
“I have no problem with you seeing him, but let’s wait until tomorrow, alright? I’ll have a nurse get a wheelchair to help you since you’re still weak. After, we’re going to get you up and walking around.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
She gives me one last smile before she leaves my room. Once I’m left alone, I place my hands on my stomach where my baby is. I smile, feeling happy that after everything, I was able to keep him or her healthy. My smile soon turns to tears when I think about all it cost Dez.
I’m lost in my emotions when I jump with a start, feeling someone in the doorway. I look up and only see a shadow of a person.
“Who’s there?” I ask, feeling scared. Squinting my eyes, I look at the figure, and it’s one I’d recognize anywhere. “Sonny?”
“Yeah,” he rasps, his voice sounding hoarse and tired.
“Why won’t you sit with me?” I ask, feeling hurt by his distance.
“I needed a reason to earn that place.”
“What does that mean? Come here. Please? I need you here,” I plead with him.
He slowly walks into the room, and I scan over him. He’s in his usual suit, but his hair looks like he’s been running his hands through it all day. He looks tired with dark circles under his eyes. His usual close-shaven facial hair is now more of a beard from not shaving in weeks. But he still looks like my hero, the only man I’ve ever truly loved and the one my soul craves.
Dropping into the chair next to my bed, he looks pained as he takes my hand in his. Bending forward, he rests his head on our joined hands, and then I watch as his shoulders begin to shake. Turning to my side, I run my fingers of my free hand through his hair and let him release all the pent-up emotions I’m sure he’s kept in all this time.
“I’m sorry, Ruby. I’m so fucking sorry,” he cries over and over.
“It’s not your fault. None of it was your fault, Sonny. I’m sure you did everything you could to find us.”
He looks up then, and I see a tsunami in his eyes, crushing him. “But did I?”
“You got us out. We’re alive. That’s all that matters now.”
“I found him too,” he says, sniffing back his emotions and steeling his features once more. “That’s why I haven’t been here. But I have the cocksucker now.”
“I don’t want to talk about him,” I whisper.
His hand comes up to cup my cheek, and he presses a kiss to my forehead. I hum, closing my eyes from how perfect it feels. How much I’ve missed this. Him.
“I have to tell you something,” I say. Sitting back, he stares at me, and I can’t decode his expression, but something in it tells me now isn’t the right time to tell him about the baby. Instead, I tell him the only truth I can. “I love you.”
His lips twitch to smile. “I love you too, Tink. So fucking much.” He kisses me. It’s short and sweet, but it’s everything I need right then.
The next day, after I see the OB doctor, the nurse comes in to help me to see Dez. I reluctantly accept the wheelchair, even though I’m only going one room over. Pushing me into his room, I immediately begin to cry when I see him lying in his bed. He looks so small.
“I’ll leave you alone for a little bit,” the nurse says before closing the door behind her.
Taking Dez’s hand, I kiss it. “We made it. We made it out. Sonny came for us,” I tell him, moving my hand to sweep his hair out of his face. He still has bruises there, but they’re beginning to fade. “You were right when you said that the baby was okay too. Turns out, this baby is a strong fighter and doesn’t give up easily, like his parents,” I chuckle.
I take a minute to just look at this man, my friend, who took so much for me. Who protected me and comforted me and held me when everything seemed to be caving in and dying around us. I owe him everything.
“I love you, Dez.” At my words, I feel his hand move in mine. I look to our joined hands and watch as his fingers twitch again. “Dez? Wake up. I need you with me.”
“Ruby,” he mumbles my name.
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m here, Dez. I’m not going anywhere,” I tell him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Open your eyes.”
And he does. His deep brown eyes open and focus on mine.
“Hi.” I smile before pressing another kiss to his face.
“You got snot on my face,” he mumbles, closing his eyes again.