His breath left him in a sudden whoosh, there was chaos and barking, and he closed his eyes as he was licked and loved and not by Rowan, but by a one hundred forty pound Newfoundland.
“Bear! Get. Off,” Rowan shouted, at least it sounded like Rowan, who else would it be. Why is everything upside down? Finally, Bear was off him, and instead of a dog, it was Rowan’s beautiful melted chocolate gaze that Gideon focused in on. “Jeez, Gids, are you okay?”
“Gah,” was all Gideon could manage—he couldn’t even correct Rowan shortening his name. Rowan must have taken his gloves off because his hands were hot as they cradled Gideon’s face, and the shock of having Rowan’s hands on him was doing nothing for his equilibrium.
“Hey, can you stand, should I call 911? Fuck it, I’m calling 911. Bear took you out like a bus—”
Gideon gripped Rowan’s hand. He wasn’t hurt. He was breathless, and he’d probably ache in a few hours, but the last thing he wanted to do was get trapped in the ER for a single moment of his Christmas break. He would endure family, and eggnog, and gifting presents, and fun, and kids, and dogs, if it meant no to a hospital bed.
“No 911,” he muttered and then rolled onto his belly, thinking that maybe he’d get a better start at standing up. Then he was on all fours, and Rowan was right there, behind him, wrapping arms around him and helping him to stand. Sue him if he leaned on Rowan more than he needed, but damn the man smelled good, and the snow was cold, and he felt weird and out of place. Rowan was strong—easily holding him up—which was a really nice feeling. He sometimes forgot that Rowan was a man and could easily bench press whatever weight it was that was good to bench press. Not that Gideon knew much about that, but somehow in this single moment Rowan wasn’t a PA…he was a man.
All man. Sexy and strong and caring and holding me upright.
A dog barked, more of a yip than a woof, and other barks joined the chorus. Rowan tried to quiet them, fear in his tone, and then Ava’s voice joined in the melee.
“What the hell?”
“Bear took him out in one strike.”
“Did you call 911?”
“No 911. Jeez, I’m okay,” Gideon protested, pulling away from Rowan and dusting himself down, hot with embarrassment. “Let’s keep walking.”
Rowan poked at his arm. “You’re sure?”
“I didn’t hit my head. I feel fine, and we need to…dogs…walk.” He waved his hand at the nearest dog, Deon, who was staring up at him as if he had two heads, or maybe silently judging Gideon for not getting out of the way for Bear. He could imagine dog-speak where he was the idiot and the dogs were laughing at him.
Did I hit my head? Or am I just losing my shit?
Deon and Dog settled in right next to Gideon as if they were protecting him, and just like that they finished the walk, talking about snow, and Christmas, or rather Rowan and his sister were chatting about that, Gideon just listened. Rowan’s voice wasn’t Rowan. He was edgy, too bright, clearly worried about Gideon. Rowan would stop talking every so often to check on him. Rowan was worse than one of his Collies as he herded Gideon back to the house. The reason why he was so intent on getting back to the house became obvious as soon as they got inside.
“Mom, Bear wiped Gids out!” Rowan guided Gideon to the kitchen and made him sit on a chair. “Mom knows first aid.”
“I know first aid,” Gideon protested.
“Oh goodness.” Gill appeared at the kitchen door and just as quickly disappeared the way she came, only to pop up shortly after with a huge box. She laid it on the table and opened it. Inside was everything from bandages to Band-Aids to cough syrup to…wait, was that needles?
“I’m fine—”
“Hold still and let me look.” She tilted his chin, shone a light in his eyes, and checked his pulse. “I remember Bear sitting on me when he was only a year old, he’s a huge bundle of love and weight all rolled into one. Now does anything else hurt? Are you in any pain?”
“No. Thank you.”
She startled the hell out of Gideon when she pressed a kiss to the top of his head, but then she leaped back in horror.
“Oh my God, I’m sorry. I’m so used to kissing the booboos better with all the kids that…”
“No, don’t be sorry.” He wasn’t going to go as far as to say that it was a good feeling to have the mom-kiss from Gill, something he sorely lacked in his own upbringing. But Ava holding onto Bear as if the dog was going to launch himself at Gideon again, now that felt nice. Not to mention Rowan was standing so close that Gideon could feel his body warmth. He didn’t need to be protected. He could look after himself. But this family was cocooning him, and it felt so weirdly good.
He took his Advil as instructed by Gill and iced his knee. He only ached a little by the time dinner came and went and felt positively lighter in his heart by the end of the night. Deon hadn’t left his side, not just demanding belly rubs but resting his head on Gideon’s lap. He was the best of good dogs, and Gideon’s fingers were tired from belly rubs. Tonight he’d met siblings and their kids. It was loud, chaotic, and funny, and he’d had a good time. Everyone seemed caring. The kids asked him about his knee, and one of them, Clara he thought, drew a picture of him with a crutch, at least that is what she said it was. Then there was Rowan—seeing him like this was a revelation. At work, he could be sarcastic, bordering on disrespectful as a PA, but he could turn it off in an instant to be effortlessly professional with clients. Gideon never told him how much he loved that disrespectful side, those times that Rowan pushed Gideon to the edge before smiling and yanking him back. Gideon would never admit how much he loved having Rowan as a PA. Without Rowan, Gideon’s workspace would be a dark and officious place with no laughter or teasing.
Here with his family, Rowan was funny, and every so often he would slip and call Gideon Gids or lean on him whenever he made a joke. It was telling that Gideon didn’t correct him once. Rowan was chilled and excited to be home, and it was a new side to Rowan that Gideon was growing to love. By the time the two of them arrived back to the cabin Gideon was mellow from the company, but he knew for sure that tonight it would be a lot easier to sleep in that same bed. Because now he’d seen Rowan like this, he knew even more that he wanted to keep him as his PA. He needed Rowan in his life, to keep him from fucking up and to keep him sane, and there was no way he was messing that up by fooling around and acting on the lust growing inside. He just had to ignore the fact he had a hard-on at the thought of being in the same bed as Rowan. Easy. They could be grownups about this, and he didn’t have to recall the warmth of Rowan’s hands on him in the snow, or the way in the middle of last night Rowan had rolled into the middle, the barrier of pillows meaning nothing as he had half-spooned Gideon from behind. That would never be talked about.
Gideon was never going to act on any kind of attraction.
Ever.
So why was it such a crushing blow to step inside the cabin, only to find that someone had separated the two beds into singles, with a cabinet between them?
Nine
Rowan
With a groan, Rowan sat up in bed. Somehow, he’d had a worse night’s sleep than the last. He wasn’t sure why, but he’d found himself even more aware of Gideon than before, despite being in separate beds.