Had the alcohol god looked kindly upon him and Gideon had actually forgotten about his misguided affections? Unlikely. Luckily, for Rowan, Gideon was a far more put together adult and clearly had been able to move on, accepting the kiss as nothing but champagne induced insanity.
Kiss. Rowan’s inner voice squealed in embarrassment. We kissed.
The wooden desk was cool pressed to his cheek, and he sighed as he stared at Gideon’s office door, which was slightly ajar.
Gideon’s so cool. Apparently, his inner voice was a high school teenager.
Huffing a breath, he sat up and pinched the bridge of his nose. Even though he hadn’t come in until lunch he was exhausted. Yesterday’s festivities, idiocy, and the early ride home had caught up to him. It was late and if he’d had any sense, he would have already been home, feet up, trashy soap opera on the television, eating chips and salsa, crashing on the couch in a pair of sweatpants. But no, it was almost eight in the evening, and he was still at his desk.
But that’s because…
The main reason was to get a good week or two ahead of himself with work where possible before he took off for the holidays. There was also Jared, one of the employees whose popularity as a boyfriend for hire was almost on par with Darcy’s. Jared’s current client, some Manhattan socialite, had missed her appointment that morning and seemed to drop off the face of the planet for the day. Jared, always the professional, had struggled to hide the mix of irritation and concern in his voice, apparently wired on coffee having tried to work the problem himself. After all, Rowan had plenty on his plate already, and then there had been the wedding yesterday. Though Jared was being sweet and thoughtful, contacting Rowan earlier would have been for the best, giving him longer to track her down.
But I found her, eventually.
She had double booked. The meeting with Jared and a spa day with her girlfriends, and spa had won out. Despite the looming hangover, Rowan had been polite, cheerful, and after some shuffling on both their parts, rescheduled the appointment for three days’ time.
A call would have been nice. He had dealt with many clients and businesses through Bryant & Waites. It would take a lot more than a missed meeting with a boyfriend to break his perfect PA demeanor.
He puffed his cheeks and blew out a breath, eyeing the soft glow inside Gideon’s office. There was one more reason he was still at his desk.
Gideon. He’d been more serious than ever today, and Rowan got the impression it had nothing to do with the kiss. Gideon’s expression when he thought Rowan wasn’t looking was stern and thoughtful, his attention constantly stolen by his cell phone, his brow creasing in deep lines as if he was trying to solve a really difficult puzzle.
Nobody should have to think that hard.
A text message pinged Rowan’s cell phone. With a heavy sigh, he checked the message. It was from one of his moms. He eyed the words on the screen, knew they were written out of love, but he couldn’t help but feel slightly attacked.
Hi, Ro, hope D’s wedding went ok. U can tell us all about it at Xmas. Thought u should know Ava is bringing her boyfriend this year. Remember there’s always room for one more if u want to bring someone. We love you, Moms x
“Bring someone,” he uttered to the empty space. He was thirty-seven, on the line between mid-thirties and late-thirties and apparently that was when he should be thinking of settling down, finding his forever-man, making a family of his own. He scratched the stubble on his jaw and thought maybe he should grow a beard like Gideon. He’d tried before, got to day four and gave up. Hell, he couldn’t commit to growing a beard, let alone having a long-term relationship. Seeing Darcy and Adrian together, he’d admit he’d been a little jealous, but he wasn’t sure that was him, not wedding bliss. Probably. And children? He loved family, the warmth of having people around him. His family were everything. But babies, little beings relying solely on him? He was not ready for that.
Maybe in a decade or two.
Even now, he didn’t feel one hundred percent comfortable with who he was, and where he was in life. He needed to be sure of himself before adding people to the swing that was his life. He’d never stuck with anything for long and being at Bryant & Waites was the most stable and consistent his life had been in a long time.
If I haven’t messed that up. If he fires me for real I have no one to blame but myself.
He thought about how his life had gone so far. Things would always end one of two ways, whether work or hobbies or men. He’d eventually hit a wall, either lose interest, become disillusioned, or conversely, be so invested, so passionate, he’d burn out.
Wow, that spiraled fast. I need sleep. He stared at the text, pondering his reply. His head hurt and he wasn’t in the mood.
Wedding was great. And thanks. See you soon xx
Anything longer and he might come across as annoyed, which he kind of was.
“Whatever.” He hit send, pocketed his phone then glanced back at Gideon’s door. He was done. He wanted his couch, his baggy clothes, and his comfort food. He stretched his arms above his head and got to his feet, ambled toward the door, and wondered if he had enough energy to give a lively knock and bound in to say his goodnights.
No, I do not.
He stopped when he heard Gideon’s voice. Was he still working?
“Mom, I’m really sorry.”
A private conversation? Rowan pressed his hand to his stomach. He already felt guilty about overhearing part of the conversation Gideon had had with his sister while at the wedding.
“It’s just busy here right now. No, no. That’s ridiculous. I’m not seeing Dad. I’m not. Mom. Mom, I’m not lying.” Gideon’s voice was gravelly. He sounded tired. “It’s work. So the only person I’ll be seeing is my PA. Yes, Rowan. The one I told you about. No, he’s not…Mom, he’s just my PA. Yes.” He cleared his throat. “Mark’s son and his wife are still coming aren’t they, with the kids? The new baby? There you go. You won’t even notice I’m not there. You’ll be cooing over the baby.” His voice brightened a little. “Look, I should go. I’ll stop by on New Year’s. How’s that sound? Okay. Good. Bye.” There was a pause before Gideon said, “You can come in now.”
Rowan sighed and pushed open the door. “That’s kind of creepy, you know.”
“Blame your shadow.”
“Shadow?” Rowan glanced down at his feet. “Ah.”
Gideon leaned back in his chair. “Did you need something? I thought you’d be home already. It’s all you’ve talked about all day.”
“Rude but accurate.”
“So?” Gideon pressed.
Sliding his hand into his pants’ pocket, Rowan gripped his phone. “I gather from the phone call you’re making excuses not to go home for Christmas?”
Gideon shrugged. “Something like that. It’s—”
“Complicated?”
“Yes.”
“And the best you could come up was that you were working through Christmas with me?” Rowan quipped.
With a sigh, Gideon leaned his head back. “Yes.” He seemed dejected.
“You lied to your mother.”
“Yes. And my dad,” Gideon added in a weary voice.
I don’t like seeing him like this. There must be something I can do.