I roll my eyes. “Get out.”
Luca laughs. “Seriously though, I’m so damn happy for you. You deserve a good guy. He looks at you like you hung the moon. That’s love.”
“Yeah.” I exhale. “I’ve never felt like this before. I need to call Lucien and just get it over with. I want to move forward with Felix, and this is a bridge I have to cross.”
“Hey, if he’s a good friend then he knows your heart, and he knows you would never just fuck around with his brother. Even I know that.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will. Thanks, Luca.”
“You’re welcome.”
Once Luca leaves, I continue my search, smiling when I find it. First up. Private gesture. I dial the store.
“Thank you for calling Tempt. How can I help you?”
“Hi. You have a teal outfit in the window. Does that happen to come in your men’s line?”
“Yes, sir, it does.”
“Great. I’d like to order it as a gift please.”
Later that evening, I decide it’s time. When I see Felix’s face again, I want to be able to tell him that I told Lucien. He means that much to me. I exhale slowly then dial my friend’s number on video.
He answers after two rings, smiling when he sees me.
“Apollo. Mon ami. How are you?”
“Fantastic. How are you?”
“Pretty good. You’re fantastic? Did something wonderful happen?”
“Yeah. Something wonderful happened.” Fuck. My stomach feels like it’s trying to crawl through my throat. “I have something really important to tell you. I hope you’ll understand and support me.”
“I can't imagine anything you could tell me that I would not understand or support.”
“Right.” I swallow hard, searching for how to start this.
“Apollo? Is something wrong?”
“No, Lucien. Everything’s really good.”
“Okay then. Tell me your news.”
I study his face, hoping I see the same affectionate smile in a few minutes.
“It’s about Felix.”
“Felix? Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s great. Um, you know how you asked me to help him get settled, and maybe take him out with my friends and stuff?”
“Yes.”
“We’ve been doing that. Hanging out. Getting to know each other after ten years.”
“He is so amazing, isn’t he? He’s so mature and smart.”
“Yeah, he is. I really like the time we spend together.”
“Good.”
“Um, Lucien…” I bite my lip as nervous heat washes over me. “This is unexpected, but, um, I’m dating him.” I exhale. I need to stop sounding afraid. Felix deserves my bravery and confidence. No matter how Lucien reacts, I’m still with Felix. “I’m in love with him, Lucien.”
Lucien’s mouth falls open. “You’re in love with Felix?”
I nod. “Yes. We just click. Things I’ve always wanted, I can see in his eyes. I assure you, I would never play him. I would never use him.”
“You’re sure? You are not just...exploring your new sexuality with my brother?”
“No. I would never. We’ve been spending time together, and it’s been amazing. It only just turned romantic. I was trying to keep him as only a friend.”
“Why?”
“I thought it might upset you. There’s an age difference, and you know my past. I worried you might think I wasn’t good enough for him.”
“I see. But you love him?”
“I love him. I want to tell him, but I had to tell you first. I had to prove to him that he’s important to me. Even enough to risk you being upset. I want things with him. Big things.”
“Big things,” he repeats. “Like?”
“Like moving in together and talking about marriage and—”
“Marriage,” he interrupts. “You can see yourself marrying Felix?”
“God, if I were that lucky, yeah. He’s the man for me. He sees…” I pause, exhaling to tamp down the emotion in my chest. “He sees my heart, Lucien. No one ever has, but he does. I want a future with him. I want your blessing. It matters to both of us.”
“But if I do not give it, what will you do? Will you break my brother’s heart to salvage your friendship with me?”
My eyes sting with tears. “No, Lucien. I will not break Felix’s heart. We’ll just have to figure out how to go forward without your blessing. Maybe in time, you will see how amazing we are together and come around.”
“So you love him enough, you will choose him over me?”
“I wish you wouldn’t put it that way, but yeah. I choose Felix if I have to.”
A smile pulls at Lucien’s lips. “This is beautiful, Apollo. I never thought it would be love.”
“What?”
“I thought you might come to me someday and tell me you did things with him. He is charming that way. I would have accepted it because you are adults and Felix can choose to do what he wants with whom he wants. I’ve suspected he had a crush on you for a very long time.”
“He did.”
“But you’re coming to me to tell me you fell in love with him? My heart is so full.”
“You’re not mad?”
“Mad? I am overjoyed. My baby brother and my best friend? This is wonderful.”
I laugh as a tear I was holding back slides down my cheek. “You just said you weren’t giving your blessing.”
“That is what you heard, mon ami. I asked what you would do if I didn’t. I wanted to hear that you would choose him. I wanted to know his heart is more important than anything to you. Even me.”
I nod. “I get it. I wanted to tell him yesterday, so badly, how I feel, but he’s got this thing in his head. He knows it’s important to me to tell you, and I wanted to wait until I knew what it was gonna be. It’s only been like three weeks, and it feels like he’s always been part of me.”
“I guess he has on some level.”
“Right. So, do I have your blessing?”
“One hundred percent. I can't wait to hear Felix tell me about it.”
“Okay. Just let me tell him first. I’m planning something.”
“Thank you for respecting me enough to come to me with this. Thank you for opening yourself up to Felix, but mostly, thank you for loving him and taking care of him.”
“I really didn't have a choice about loving him. He kind of swept in like a hurricane.”
Lucien laughs. “That is an accurate description of Felix.”
“When are you coming for a visit?”
“Thanksgiving, I believe. Apollo, I want to share something, but you cannot tell Felix or my parents.”
“Okay.”
“Promise.”
“I promise.”
“I have been thinking a lot lately about coming home.”
My eyes pop. “What? You’d move back to Miami?”
“I want to. I have worn out my desire to be here anymore. The work is good, but it’s not enough to fill the other gaps. I want to be with my family. I want to be with you.”