“Mate, does your dad hit you?”
“Sometimes. But I’m tough. I can take it.”
He shouldn’t have to take it.
“That’s not right. Your dad shouldn’t be hurting you. You haven’t done anything wrong, okay?” I made sure to look him in the eye so he knew what I was saying was true.
“He doesn’t hurt my brothers though. Just me and Mum.”
“You did the right thing today, telling us this.” I heard the door open behind us and I saw the head teacher walk in. “Do you think you could tell Mr Farnsworth too? He can help your Daddy. He can help all of you.”
Tommy nodded and when Mrs Turley held out her hand for him, he took it.
“Mr Mathers? Will my daddy go to prison?” Tommy asked me over his shoulder. My throat clammed up. I couldn’t lie to him. I could never lie to a kid like that.
“The police will need to speak to him, Tommy. But they’re the good guys. Remember that for me, yeah? They want to help you. Don’t be scared to tell them the truth.”
He seemed happy with that answer and he went off to face whatever hurdles he had coming his way. Five years old and he was already facing problems that most adults would struggle to cope with.
“It’s no wonder he always lashed out. He must’ve gone through hell,” Harper said on a sob. I pulled her onto my lap and held her close. “We always suspected there was something going on at home. But that’s the first time he’s ever opened up to anyone. You did that, Brandon. You helped that little boy. He’d have never asked for help if it wasn’t for your workshop and the trust you built up with these kids today.”
I buried my face in her neck as I let her cry.
“I fucking love you,” I whispered, making sure the f-bomb was for her ears only.
“You’re going to be an amazing daddy.” She lifted her head up and the smile she gave me through her tears tore my heart open.
She knew I was apprehensive about what sort of a father I’d make. I hadn’t had a Dad growing up, but I’d seen how good Sean was with Ryan and his brothers, and that’s who I wanted to be like. Whether I’d achieve that remained to be seen, but I wanted to be the best that I could be. The fact that Harper believed in me meant everything. With her by my side, I felt like I could do anything.
“Don’t worry about Tommy,” I said, as I brushed her tears away with my thumb. “The school know now, and they’ll help. I don’t want you worrying.” I rubbed over her stomach and smiled. “We have our own two to think about. We can help where we can, but we can’t save the world.”
She sighed and then nodded her agreement, placing her hand over mine. I stood up and then helped her up too. We gathered the equipment we’d used and I chattered away about how I needed to invest in spots for the floor and some other things to make the next workshop even better.
I picked up all our things and grabbed my mobile phone out of my rucksack as we headed for the door. Instantly, it vibrated with an incoming call and I saw Ryan’s name flash up.
“You alright, mate?” I answered, as I balanced my phone on my shoulder and carried the two bags full of equipment through the back doors of the school gym and headed towards the car.
Things had been stressful for them since Emily’s dad had been sent down. He got sixteen years for fraud and manslaughter. It’d hit Emily hard, harder than we thought it would, but we’d all been there to support her. It was what we did. We were a family.
“Where’ve you been? I’ve been calling you non-stop.” He sounded out of breath.
“I’ve been doing that workshop at Harper’s school. My phone was on silent. Why? What’s up?”
I saw Harper pull her phone out of her bag and turn it towards me to show the thirty odd missed calls from Emily and a string of unread text messages.
“You need to come to the hospital.” My stomach lurched. “It’s Finn.” Sickness washed over me. “He was found early this morning at the back of a bar in town. He’d been badly beaten, and he was unconscious.”
“Jesus fucking Christ. I’m on my way. Is he going to be okay?” I couldn’t even hold the car keys to open the door, my hands were shaking that badly.
Harper came to take them off me, and she pushed me to go round to the passenger side. I threw the bags into the boot and wandered round to the other side of the car in a daze.
“They don’t know yet. He’s in for tests. Mate, it was fucking bad.”
I stood back as Harper opened the passenger door from inside.
“I’m on my way.” I shut the call down and jumped in. “We need to go straight to the hospital. It’s Finn. He’s been hurt.” She didn’t press me for answers, just started the car and pulled off.
I had a bad feeling about this, so I opened my Google app and typed his name in. The first link that came up was about the court case and then a link detailing his early release.
Fuck.
“What is it?” she asked, picking up on my tension.
“Let’s just say if you thought my childhood was brutal, it was nothing compared to Finn’s. I don’t think I can tell you any more than that, angel. It’s not my story to tell.”
But I knew it.
Every dirty, sordid detail.
I was the only one he’d told, to my knowledge, anyway. We’d been there for each other, back in the days when there were other people who held all the power in our lives. I’d experienced hell on a daily basis, but Finn, he’d fucking lived there.
“Should I call Effy? Emily said in her texts it was just her and Ryan at the hospital. She’ll want to know.”
Harper had got friendly with Effy over the last few months, and I knew she was just looking out for her friend, but so was I. And I didn’t think he needed any more stress at the moment.
“No. Don’t. He won’t want her seeing him like that.”
He won’t want anyone seeing him like that.
“But she’ll want to be there. I’d want to be there if it was you. She loves him.”
I didn’t doubt that. But he needed to focus on himself. He didn’t need to take on her grief too. Effy wasn’t strong like my Harper.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Isn’t it?” she snapped back.
“He can’t love her until he can learn to love himself. He wants to, but now isn’t the right time.”
“I don’t agree. I think now is the perfect time. He needs her.”
“He needs her to be safe too. Please, Harper. Don’t push me on this one.”
She bit her tongue and dropped it. And I tried to focus on how I was going to be there for her and my best friend, because he was going to need me. He was tough, but what he was facing was enough to destroy anyone. His nightmare had returned from the dead and this was a battle he couldn’t face alone.
Hurt one and you hurt us all.
Only these scars ran deeper than the flesh wounds I had. They were burned deep into his soul. Tattooed into his heart and branded across his brain.
There was a reason my best friend didn’t speak very often; why he chose his words so carefully. The things he’d seen had rendered him speechless. The life he’d endured had drained him of hope. He’d learned to stay in the shadows, to be quiet for his own good.