“My back has ached all day and last night.” I rubbed my hands over my stomach. “I had quite a lot of pain, but I assumed it was Braxton Hicks.”
“You are five centimeters dilated, Maddie. You are in active labor.” I swallowed. I felt my hands begin to tremble. “How is your pain now?” Ruth asked. On cue, a sharp pain shot through my body and I closed my eyes, trying to breathe through the agony. I squeezed Bella’s hand tightly, waiting for the pain to subside. I lay back down on the bed when the pain passed. Bella brought a glass of iced water to my lips.
The door opened and I lifted my head, needing it to be Flame. Mae and Lilah came through. “Active labor, five centimeters,” Bella called to them, as they stood around the bed.
“Maddie,” Mae said and held my other hand. “That is good. Your baby will be here soon enough.” She pressed a washcloth over my brow. “It is worth it, I promise. All of the pain is worth it.”
“Flame?” I asked.
“He is on his way,” Lilah confirmed. “Ky is with him, and AK and Viking. He said they are almost home.” Lilah held up her cell. I squeezed my eyes shut. “I need him here. I need him to be here.” I moved my legs from the bed. “I need to get up. I need to walk.” I insisted as Ruth helped me rise. I gripped onto the bed frame, groaning when the pressure in my back became too great. Bella rubbed my back. I breathed in time with Ruth.
I closed my eyes and thought about Flame. My mind took me back to The Order. Took me back to the day the Hangmen came for Mae. When the prison cell, in which we were held was opened, I stood before them, the men in leather. They looked nothing like anyone I had ever seen before. And they had killed the disciples. They had killed Brother Moses, my tormentor. Someone had saved me from him. I stared at Brother Moses, stabbed to death and impaled on a tree. In that moment I felt all of my years of pain and suffering melt away. A sense of euphoria infused my body. The cage around my lungs had snapped open.
“Who killed him?” I had asked when I again faced the devil’s men. “Was it you?” I asked Flame. He was stunning to me—dark hair, dark eyes, tattoos of flames decorating his skin. My savior, the man who freed me from my shackles of bondage. He was not a devil’s man to me. He was my liberator. He was my angel.
“Yeah, I killed the fucker,” he said.
“Thank you.” I remembered the smell of leather as I wrapped my arms around him, my cheek to his chest. I remembered his muscled arms tensing, then wrapping around me. He held me and something inside of me shifted. Some part of my heart that had died was revived. I was resurrected. Reborn for this man they called Flame… and now I was having his baby. Our baby. Our miracle.
The sound of motorcycles came roaring from outside. “Flame,” I murmured.
I heard the low murmur of voices, then, “MADDIE!” Flame came smashing through the door. I looked up and my eyes watered on seeing the man I loved finally here. I held out my hands, and I saw Flame’s eyes widen on seeing me gripping the bed frame. I stood upright and held out my hand. Flame’s footing faltered, but he came to me. His eyes searched every inch of me. “Maddie…” he said softly. My sisters moved aside and Flame took hold of my hand. He pulled me to his chest, and I wrapped my arms around his waist, just like I had done all those years ago in the commune. And like then, he held me back. Leather… leather and the strength my husband brought to my soul. “Maddie,” he rasped again, then kissed my head.
A contraction flooded my body. I hung onto Flame and moaned when the pain was stronger than last time. “MADDIE!” Flame cried and held onto me. I sagged after the contraction. He held me up in his strong arms.
“I am well,” I assured him. When I met his gaze, the fear written on his face was my undoing. “Flame, we spoke of this. The pain that comes with labor. Remember?”
“I fucking can’t stand to see you in pain,” Flame said through gritted teeth. I moved to sit on the bed. Flame never let me go. “I don’t want to see you in pain,” he repeated. His cheeks lost their color and my heart broke at the stark fear in his stare.
Taking his hand, I pressed it over my stomach. “Our baby is coming, Flame. Our baby is coming…”
“Maddie…” He too looked in pain.
“It will get worse before it gets better,” I told him. I pressed my hand to his cheek. “Before our baby comes, the pain will get worse.” I lowered his hand to rest over my heart. “But it will be worth it,” I assured, and let my head lower to meet Flame’s. “It will be so very worth it.”
Flame looked around the room, his eyes lost and fraught. I always knew this would difficult for him. The labor. Flame was never going to handle well my being in pain. We just needed to get through this. He would be fine when we got through this, I tried to convince myself.
*****
Sweat rolled into my eyes. I felt the bed was wet beneath me. I breathed the rhythm Ruth panted out from beside me. Flame held onto my hand. He was distraught. I cried out when pain consumed me, when my head rolled back, and I needed the pain to end. “That is it, Maddie,” Ruth said with conviction. I felt her move to the bottom of the bed and examine me. “Ten centimeters, Maddie! You can push soon. Your baby will be here very soon.”
I gasped, searching for breath as the contraction slowly subsided. I rolled my head in Flame’s direction. His eyes were wide. He was lost and I could see the panic on his face. “Maddie,” he whispered and laid his head on my arm. “Don’t die. You can’t die. Don’t die.” Tears seeped from the side of my eyes. He did not understand what was happening. Labor confused him. My pain confused him. His greatest fears were stabbing at his heart. His skin had broken out in a sweat, his lips and skin were white.
“I am here,” I whispered. I was tired, so tired. It had been hours, many hours of pain. Flame had never left my side, his hand always in mine. But knew he was sinking. His fears were overwhelming his spirit.
Mae pressed a cold washcloth to my head. “Ready to push, Maddie?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said with determination and kissed Flame’s hand. “I love you,” I confirmed and offered my husband a weak smile. “I love you so much.”
“Maddie,” he whispered back.
When the sudden urge to push became strong I looked to Ruth. “Now,” I said. “I have to push.”
Ruth moved to the bottom of the bed. “Let us meet your baby,” she pronounced, and I clutched Flame’s hand to my chest.
“Our baby, Flame,” I said. “Our baby…” Flame followed the path of my body to Ruth. His breathing was too fast, and his nervous gaze flitted around the room, thankfully it always landed back on me.
“Ready?” Sister Ruth asked. Taking a deep breath I pushed. Over the next hour I pushed until I felt drained of energy. Flame had gone silent beside me.
“I cannot,” I whispered, my voice broken.
“This is the final push, Maddie. I see the baby clearly,” Ruth said. Mae held my other hand.