I can’t help admiring the way his muscles move under his light grey dress shirt. He looks like he went to the barber today. His hair is shorter than last night and styled and his face is cleanly shaven, without a hint of the beard he was sporting last night, He looks perfect. I made an effort, hair and make up done, by me, but well. I saw how appreciative his eyes were when he saw me, but Carter has always thought me beautiful I glance down at my dark jeans, black turtleneck and ankle boots have a flash of worry about what we look like together.
Normally, I wouldn’t even worry. I could shave my head and dye it red and the most I would get would be a few double takes from people. But if I’m next to Carter, who everyone notices, that might change.
“Ready?” Carter buttons his jacket and smiles expectantly at me.
I put my worries aside, and decide to just enjoy this for as long as I can.
“Ready,” I say with a mock salute. I press a kiss on Joe’s cheek and stand up to join him.
Exiles
BETH
“We’re doing what?” I shriek as we pull up to the small New Jersey airport.
“A helicopter tour of the city. We talked about me going with you to see Lady Liberty, remember?” Carter says.
“Oh, my God. Are you serious?” I peer out of the window, bouncing in my seat when I spot the helicopters across the tarmac.
“Yes, come on,” he says just before someone opens the door to our car and the frigid, windy November night air rushes into the warm interior of the car.
A man with bright blue hard shelled earphones on sticks his head in the car, his nose is red and his eyes are watering, but his smile is huge and welcoming.
“Mr. Bosh, welcome to Linden Airport. I’m Chip, your pilot for this evening. Your bird’s all nice and ready and it’s a clear, beautiful night.”
“Bird?” I ask.
He grins, his eyes full of pride. “It’ll be the most beautiful one in the sky tonight, ma’am. You’re going to love, it.” He winks and then steps out of the way so we can climb down.
We stop at the terminal and I sign the waiver he gives me without reading it.
I’m too keyed up. Carter has been back in my life for one day, and he’s already reminded me of how beautiful and exciting everything is when he’s around.
“I can’t believe I’m going on a helicopter ride,” I say.
“Believe it. It’s happening.” He holds his hand out to me and I don’t hesitate to take it. It’s the first time he’s initiated a touch all day. We step out into the freezing, windy night, but I barely feel it. His hand, even gloved as it is, is a conduit for heat and his touch warms my hold body.
“This is incredible,” I shout to be heard over the loud whir of the helicopter blades as Carter and I are ushered up the tarmac toward the one that’s waiting for us.
Carter shouts something back but the wind snatches whatever sound he made and whips it away. I shake my head and point at my ear to indicate that I can’t hear him either.
The wind whips my hair wildly around my face, and I pull my hand free of his so that I can tie it back with black elastic band I wear on my wrist.
I struggle to hold the long strands the wind has taken control of. Carter comes to stand behind me and plucks the elastic from between my fingers.
I start to ask what he’s doing, but am rendered mute when his lips brush my ear and he says in a reassuring voice, “I’ve got it.”
A shiver runs down my back at from the warm tickle of his breath on the sliver of skin not covered by the collar of my jacket.
But when his finger slide into my hair, a riot of gooseflesh sends my whole body quivering like Jell-O that’s been flicked by an errant finger.
I stand perfectly still while he gathers the unruly strands into one of his big hands, not pulling too tight as he loops the elastic around it.
He drops his hands onto my shoulders and gives them a squeeze before his hand slides down and comes to rest in the small of my back.
“Perfect,” he says into my ear, before he guides me toward the helicopter.
On this freezing night, my whole body feels like it’s been dropped into a sauna. Want is burning me from the inside out. My scalp is still tingling from the slide of his fingers. And even though it wasn’t anything more than him helping me pull my hair back into a ponytail, it felt intimate and erotic.
I’m not going to come out of this unscathed if I can’t control myself. This is what I’ll have to learn to live with if I want to have him in my life at all.
And I do.
Very much, so.
We climb aboard and are both handed headphones to slip on. “You won’t be able to hear each other once we’re up in the air, but you’ll both be able to hear me. I’ll talk you through the sites and you can take pictures.” He points to the seat belts that are more like harnesses. “Cross your hearts, we’re lifting off in just a few minutes.”
When we’re buckled up, it’s just a few minutes before the helicopter is up and moving over the dark water. I glance over at Carter and he’s watching me, a huge grin on his face. I mouth “Thank you, so much.”
He winks and then points out the window, telling me to look.
The pilots voice comes in tinny and loud in our earphones. “We’re flying up over the Upper Bay. On your right, you’ll see governor Island, and on your left is France’s gift to the United States, donated in 1886 - our Lady Liberty, a universal beacon of hope and welcome that is the symbol of America’s promise. Fun fact, the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island are actually on the New Jersey side of the official state lines.”
I listen, but my heart feels so much more than the facts he’s sharing as soar above the Statue of Liberty. She’s the beacon of hope and welcome that drew me to this city. And I’m seeing her for the first time with him. My heart is full as we soar above the landmarks that I’ve only ever read about.
Carter squeezes my hand. I turn to look at him and my breath catches in my throat at the naked longing in his eyes.
My mouth goes dry and I know why he’s looking that way. The last time we talked about making a trip to see her, we’d been naked and damp and he’d still been inside me. Sitting here like this, having that memory, sends a surge of heat to the last place on my body that needs it. But, I don’t feel the familiar shame that usually follows these feelings.
We didn’t know the truth, then. We just loved each other so deeply that the world wasn’t big enough to contain it. And of course, we had no idea what was coming.
I bite my lip and his eyes move to my mouth. His free hand reaches up and cups the side of my face, his thumb sweeping the top of my cheekbone before his hand moves lower and slides down my neck.
His hands on me makes my eyes heavy and my head lolls to the side, his fingers tickle the swirl of hair at the nape of my neck and his face moves closer to mine.
“From 1892 to 1954, over twelve million immigrants heeded her call and entered the United States through the portal of Ellis Island,” the pilot’s voice cuts in and Carter’s hand falls away from my face as if it’s aflame and he sits back, his expression goes from panicked to stoic in seconds.
Tears sting my eyes less from the loss of his touch. It’s the extinguishing of warmth from his eyes. After a minute he turns to look at me and smiles, but it’s not the same.