“No. You didn’t. I’m sorry that all of this is happening. It’s not your fault. Either of you…I know it must feel so…weird,” she says.
I consider her words.“No…it’s not. I know it should be…but that’s not how I’d describe the way I feel. It’s difficult, but everything worth something is. I’m happy to be with you all. To be with Carter. I don’t know how I’ll feel in a month from now, but right now, I’m okay. And I’m an open book, I have nothing to hide. If you want to ask me something, I’ll tell you.”
“Are you still in love with him?” She asks immediately, as if it’s been on the tip of her tongue.
I stare at my feet, trying to decide how I’ll answer. The truth is practically blasphemy. But after spending the whole day with them, I know that these people care about me. Whatever is going on with me and Carter, they’re a part of my life, too.
I look around the room, at the family I’ve always wanted. I can’t lie to them to save my life.
So, I nod.
When Penn covers her face, I have a flash of fear that she’s going to ask me to leave.
Instead, she gets up and comes over to me, and puts her arms around me and holds me.
“It’s going to be okay. We’re your family now, too. And you don’t ever have to be alone again. We will never hurt you. We won’t ever lie to you. And we won’t ever turn our backs on you.”
She pulls back, cups my now wet cheeks in her warm loving hands and looks me in the eye. “Not for any reason,” she says meaningfully and my heart jumps at the implication of her words and expression.
Phillip Phillips song, starts to play and it takes me a second to register it. But the apprehension that starts to churn in my gut my show on my face because Penn drops her hands.
“What’s wrong?”
I shake myself and rush to the table where I left my phone. “Nothing, it’s my brother, probably calling to wish my Happy Thanksgiving,” I say and pray that I’m right.
“Hey you, Happy Thanksgiving,” I answer with an airy cheeriness I don’t feel.
There’s a beat of silence. “Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving. I’d forgotten that was today,” he says in a weary tone. I turn my back so the rest of them can’t see my face.
“Did you spend it alone?” I ask, a stab of guilt that I’m here with people and he’s alone makes me flinch.
“Did you forget where I am?” he asks sarcastically, but with no ire.
“I’m sorry. So…then why are you calling?” I ask and hold my breath for his answer.
“I found Dina,” he says.
“Oh, thank God,” I exclaim.
He lets out a shuddering exhale and my heart skips a beat.
“Right?” I prompt when he doesn’t say anything,
“I’m sending you an email. Read it, and then call me back.”
The entire world has stopped turning.
We’re in Penn’s office, Dean is on speaker phone, Phil is joining us from mine. We couldn’t reach Carter. I was angry with him, but right now I wish more than anything he was here. When I read Phil’s email, my world stopped turning.
The documents they shared lay out a damning narrative.
One that breaks my heart and boils my blood at the same time.
“Beth, is it normal for you and Dina to go months without speaking?” Deans asks.
“Well…yeah, I mean. We’ve definitely gone longer, but I called her when I got settled here and didn’t hear back. I didn’t think much of it. When she’s working on something, she tends to be MIA.”
I’ve thought about her so much and now resent the shame I felt for not being better about staying in touch.
“Well, these pictures show her going into your grandmother’s house two weeks after the wedding. Less than a week later, we have these transfers to off shore accounts in her name. And then she disappears.”
“Yeah, probably to a tropical paradise somewhere,” Phil says, his voice laden with bitterness.
“I can’t believe this. Dina wouldn’t…” I shake my head, not able to finish the sentence because the proof shows that she did.
“I have her letter of resignation from her job Clo. I mean, she says she’d come into some money and was moving away.” Phil says gently.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were looking for her?” I snap.
“I told you I was going to take care of it. I wanted you to focus on what you were doing. And it wasn’t until three months ago that I even started my search.”
“Well, she liked him enough to go on your honeymoon with him. The pictures say everything, Beth.”
“I don’t understand…she hates Duke,” I say, bewildered.
The pictures Phil’s PI took of them cut my legs out from under me. She’s kissing him, they’re laughing together, he’s touching her in a way that only lovers touch each other. And even though I can see it with own eyes, it doesn’t make any sense. Dina wouldn’t.
I turn the computer around, and close my eyes against the wave of nausea.
I want to scream and cry and tear my hair out.
I play back all of my interactions with Dina. I don’t understand how I could have misjudged her. She hates my father. Why would she be helping them?
My stomach feels like it’s been put into a vice as I recall the reluctance with which she agreed to be my bridesmaid.
I thought it was because she didn’t agree with my choices. Could it be that she and Duke were involved. That she was helping my family? What else could they be paying her for?
My mind races through the memories, cutting a circuit through all of the times she’d loved me and picked me up and encouraged me.
But when I get to the beginning of the loop that’s playing, I find myself facing a terrible possibility. It was the first thing I thought of when I saw the evidence of her betrayal.
I turn around, not caring that I’m interrupting Dean.
“Dina handled Carter’s DNA tests,” I blurt.
“Oh my God,” Dean breathes out.
“That fucking bitch.” Phil’s voice is a low as the motor an engine.
“Do you think she tampered with them?” I ask. The idea that Dina could be involved in that kind of deception, for money, makes me want to throw up.
“I mean, it’s absolutely possible. She took the samples for testing,” Phil says.
“We need to get another test done. For all of you. Phil, between you and Carter. And, Beth between you and Carter.”
Inside of me, hope - audacious and shameless - surges and everything go still and quiet.
Oh God.
“Yes. Let’s get that done right now,” Phil says.
The men start making plans, but I can’t hear anything over the loud whooshing of blood in my ears.
I feel light headed and reach for the chair to steady myself.
Half of me is praying that they’re wrong. That Dina didn’t do what they suspect.
But the other half, is praying like hell that she did.
Between You and Me
CARTER
The doorbell rings and my grimace, my bear soaked shirt halfway over my head. I pull it all the way off and peer at the clock. It’s almost 2am. Who the hell is coming to my house at this time.