Reid moves quickly, so he’s standing in front of me, his hands on my shoulders as he locks his gaze with mine. “Don’t,” he says, his voice firm as his hands grip my shoulders tightly. “Don’t you dare fucking say that, okay?” he adds. “We’re family, Caleb and family sticks together, so you’re stuck with us, whether you like it or not, alright?”
I stare back at him, see the mix of anger and concern in his eyes as he watches me.
“We’ll get through this. You have a lawyer now and you know there is so much more to this than just an assault charge.”
“Yeah but he’s a fucking professor, Reid,” I say my arms out as if to say how the hell can I even go up against that? “Who the fuck’s going to believe me?”
Reid shakes his head once, his eyes never leaving mine. “I do,” he says firmly. “So does Sienna. Ruby too.”
I groan my head falling into my hands now as I wonder how the hell I managed to get into this fucking mess. “Is Sie really okay?” I eventually ask, lifting my head again.
Reid’s face softens a little as he shrugs. “She’s about what you’d expect,” he says to me. “But don’t worry, I’ve got her.”
I nod. “Yeah, I know.”
“How about, Ruby?” he asks, dropping his hands. “Are things okay with you two?”
Now it’s me shrugging, having no fucking clue how things are, despite Ruby’s confession. It’s only three words, but they are three powerful words. Words that mean more than anything. Words I desperately want to say back to her but know I can’t.
“Talk to her, Caleb,” Reid says now, his voice quieter. “Talk to all of us, you can’t bottle this shit up anymore.”
I nod, moving to pour the coffee. “She wants me to see a therapist,” I admit, as I fill the four cups sitting on the counter.
Reid moves so he’s standing beside me, his hand on my shoulder again. “I think that’s a good idea,” he says.
“You do?” I ask, glancing at him.
Reid gives me a smile, his brow raised as he says, “Fuck, Caleb, honestly, I think all three of us probably need to see one,” he says, chuckling a little.
I feel a small smile tug at my mouth as I turn back to the coffee.
“You know we’ll go with you if you need us, don’t you?” he adds.
“Yeah,” I reply, letting out a slow breath as his hand slides to my other shoulder and pulls me against him in a half hug. “I know.”
Chapter Five
Ruby
The therapist’s card has been sitting on my dresser undisturbed for the last couple of days. It’s not my place to nag him to call her even though that’s exactly what I want to do. I can’t let him continue to wallow in his own self-pity and hide out in our bedroom.
Yes, my heart breaks for him and I know better than to tell him to get over it, but he needs to take the initiative and see this thing through. Without this therapist’s help his charges will stick. Ed has told him this and the scoff Caleb let out quietly wasn’t lost on me. He’s bitter right now and his conversations with Ed have left him feeling like admitting he’s crazy will force lenience upon him. He isn’t looking for excuses or band-aids for this, and there are even times it feels like he’s looking for someone to just publicly shame him, like he feels he deserves it.
It’s this ugly cycle of self-loathing and abuse that he needs to pull himself out of and this isn’t something he can do on his own. While Sienna and Caleb were young when their mother died, she obviously struggled alone. I will not allow him to go down the same path.
Caleb is sitting on our bed, his phone in hand as he scrolls along not really acknowledging me. There’s nothing insulting about his silence, and I’ve given him a pass on a lot of things, but maybe it’s about time I begin to push back just a little.
“I have to go return some books on campus,” I say, a little louder than necessary in the hopes it grabs his attention. It’s been getting harder and harder to get through to him, especially since he’s been off work for the last few days. His disconnect from the outside world is something far more concerning than his arrest.
But luckily he stands up and walks over to me, a simple smile on his face as he slips his arms around my waist. I’m hoping he doesn’t realize what day of the week it is or that this was the day I used to have class with Professor Keller. The university has made no mention of the conflict of interest yet and I’m sure they won’t, given he’s only the assistant professor of both of my courses. While finals are over, grades aren’t due for another two weeks. He still has time to fuck me over and use what happened with Caleb as his reasoning.
“Do you want to go out to dinner tonight?” he asks, and as much as I want to dance for joy at his request, I know this isn’t a quick fix. And the possibility of him being up for this in several hours diminishes as the day goes on. He’s motivated right now, but that can change at the drop of a hat.
“Yes, I would love that if you’re up to it.” I push up on my toes and lightly kiss his lips. “There’s something else I would love,” I add, knowing I’m about to kill his mood.
“What’s that?” he responds back, his fingers slipping under my shirt and tracing a few small circles on my stomach.
Oh the normalcy of what’s happening between us right now feels amazing and I’m about to ruin it.
“I’d love it if…” I look up at the ceiling and off to the side and over to the dresser where the card lies. I pretty much look anywhere but at Caleb, making it obvious what I’m about to say isn’t easy, but I’m hoping this new surge of normalcy will hang on long enough for him to hear me.
“Just say it, Ruby,” he insists, smirking at me and it’s so hard not to look at him and see everything I love about him, everything that makes him wonderful.
“I think you should call the therapist today,” I blurt out now, looking down at the ground, afraid I’ve just killed his good mood.
He steps back, but I step closer, and now it’s me slipping my arms around his waist. I rest my head against his chest as he lets out a long slow exhale.
The silence passes between us, lingering with several beats of our hearts, but Caleb hasn’t pushed me away and it feels like he’s at least giving what I’ve said some thought.
“I’d rather talk to you,” he now admits, and I feel my heart clench in my chest, tightening almost painfully. He isn’t trying to make me feel guilty, but I do. I want to help him, I really do, but we’re well beyond that. I can be empathetic, and I can listen, hell I can even give my advice, but none of this is where our relationship should be and I’m afraid it will drive a wedge between us.
“I know and you still can. You can tell me anything you want, but the therapist specializes in PTSD. She can help you better than I ever could.”
“She’s going to ask about my family. She’s going to label me immediately as soon as I tell her my mom took her own life and my father was an alcoholic.” Everything is said with a bite to it and I do understand his hesitation; it’s the same conversation I’ve had with Sie when she was trying to process what to do with her dad’s death.