“No, I don’t want him that far away from me. We’ll be taking the bus and staying two nights in a hotel while we’re there.”
“Okay. I’ll be ready.”
“Be ready to spend the week of Thanksgiving in Wisconsin. We’re meeting the band up there at a lodge. It’ll be freezing and probably buried in snow.”
That I didn’t expect. I hadn’t even given the upcoming holidays a thought. “Is Dani going?”
“Of course. It’s a family thing. Clara and their baby will be there, and the guys will probably bring someone.”
A family thing. I’m not going to let myself study those words right now. “Okay, I’ll need to take Caden shopping for some warmer clothes.”
He nods and falls silent.
I’m buzzed and alone with him. Not good. He’s made it clear we can’t let anything happen again, but neither of us has the best self-control. I finish my second glass of wine, get to my feet, and mumble a good night to him before retreating to my room.
I’m happy with the news. A concert and then a week away where I can hang out with other people. It sounds like a lot of fun. I try to focus on that as I turn out my light and climb into bed, instead of thinking about the way I always feel around him. That empty yearning that tugs at my chest when I walk away from him.
After making sure the baby monitor is on, I put one of my earbuds back in and lie in the dark, listening until I fall asleep.
This concert may be for charity, but the label has spared no expense on the accommodations. The hotel we’re put up in is beautiful and the staff swarm around us like they’re catering to royalty, not a group of musicians and their crew.
I’ve been excited and nervous for this day. On the festival tour, I met and spent time with quite a few of the people who will be here at this event, and I’m looking forward to seeing them again, but I don’t know how they’ll react to me now. I’m the infamous nanny who let Axton’s kid get taken and was even marched in front of cameras to the back of a cop car and held in custody for days.
Most of what happened didn’t get leaked to the public. They’ve seen enough to know I was questioned and cleared, but fortunately the reason why didn’t get out. The fact that I’ve returned as Axton’s nanny seems to be enough for the average person to believe I was innocent.
The rest of Tragic has been at the house multiple times and they don’t treat me any differently. I hope it won’t be weird with the others. People are bound to be curious but I’m sure as hell not answering any questions. I wouldn’t want to even if I hadn’t signed multiple NDA’s swearing I wouldn’t discuss it.
Dani and I are in a suite right across from Axton’s, and he insists on a security guard outside our door both nights. This place is draped in security. I’m not sure if it’s because Tragic is here or if it’s the usual precaution for an event with so many big name performers. Either way, safety doesn’t seem like a problem.
Axton will allow me to keep Caden in the hotel when he’s rehearsing and during the soundcheck but insists on having him backstage during the concert. Dani will be there too, so I’m hoping to be able to catch some of the other acts. Even if she’s too busy to keep Caden for a bit, we can watch from the side of the stage.
Once we’re checked into our rooms, Axton, Dani, and the band leave for the venue—which is just around the corner—for the rehearsal. If things were normal, walking there probably would’ve been faster.
It takes Caden about an hour to get bored in the suite, so I take him down to the restaurant with the security guard in tow. I’ll never get used to having someone follow me around, but I’m not going to complain.
As soon as the hostess has seated us and brought a highchair for Caden, my head jerks up at the sound of my name.
Patrick Thorn waves from the entrance, and his long strides eat up the floor. His smile is wide, showing his teeth as he approaches us. “Hey Naomi! It’s good to see you!”
That’s one person who isn’t going to act weird around me at least.
I get to my feet to give him a quick hug. “It’s good to see you too. Dani said you were going to be here. Do you want to join us?” It appears he’s here alone.
“Yeah, thanks.” He takes a seat and the waitress approaches to take our order. After she leaves, he looks me in the eye. “How have you been?”
That’s a question I have no idea how to answer. The truth would sound something like “Well, I fucked up royally and the man I’m in love with went from hating me to ignoring me to fucking me then back to being ambivalent. Half the world probably still distrusts me and I’m paranoid every night I hear a noise that doesn’t sound right. I have no life outside of Caden and can’t see a way to get one. On the bright side, I’m not in prison, and I’m back where I want to be with the people I care about even if the feeling isn’t mutual.”
Forcing a smile, my actual response is, “I’m doing good. How about you?”
“All good here.” He grins at Caden. “What are you up to, buddy?”
Caden bursts into a cheesy smile and points to me. “Nay-mi!”
“Is that your Nay-mi? I’m just going to eat with you guys and talk to her, okay?” he teases. Caden has already lost interest and moved on to playing with his napkin.
It’s so refreshing to have a conversation that isn’t filled with tension and where I’m not afraid of saying the wrong thing. Patrick was a lot of fun to hang out with during the festival tour. We had more in common because he isn’t really a partier like the other musicians. He also doesn’t seem to be affected by the massive egos on most of them. His shy, awkward, boyishness is kind of soothing.
We laugh and talk our way through the meal reminiscing about the things that happened on the last tour and discussing what might be expected on the next. “You’re still planning to come along, then?” he asks.
It’s obvious why he’d have doubts, but Axton hasn’t said anything to the contrary. “As far as I know.”
“Good.”
The conversation turns to the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and I’m surprised when Patrick says he really doesn’t have any plans. “My parents are going to Italy for a second honeymoon. I could go to my sister’s place, but her husband isn’t a fan of mine. When I realized I was dreading the thought of visiting them, I decided it was silly when I don’t have to go. I’ll check with my friends and see what they’re doing, but I’m not averse to just skipping it.” He shrugs. “What about you? Any plans?”
I’m not sure what I’m allowed to talk about anymore when it comes to anything that includes Ax and the band, so I don’t reveal where we’re going. “Axton has some week long getaway planned with the band and their families. It’ll be nice to escape from the paparazzi for a while.”
“I’ll bet. I admit I’m a little envious of Tragic’s quick rise to success—not that I begrudge them, they deserve it—but that level of fame isn’t something I envy.”
“On a good day, it’s barely controlled chaos,” I laugh, and reach to wipe off Caden’s mouth.