“The snooze is addictive.” I tried to play it off, but Shakespeare in the Summer wasn’t exactly in my wheelhouse.
Berk spoke through the gap in the seats. “How are you feeling about your chances of getting on the field with this one?”
And just like that, my untouchably great mood soured.
The defensive line coach walked down the aisle, checking off names on his clipboard. Coach stood at the front of the bus. His gaze swept over each row and hit mine with extra heat. “I’d say, not good.”
19
Marisa
“How long are you holding out on me that you and LJ are sleeping together?”
I choked on my water. It burned my lungs and dribbled out of my mouth. I flailed and knocked my notebook off the dining room table in Ford’s apartment where Liv and I were studying for tonight.
“You asswipe. I’ve been here for twenty minutes. You waited for me to take a drink to ask that question.” I used my sleeves to clean my chin.
“You’re right, and you took forever to open your bottle of water.”
I picked up my notebook and whacked her with it. “And that’s crazy. Why would you say that?
“Please, I’m the queen of don’t-even-think-about-dating-that-guy relationships, remember?” Liv and Ford had been a big fucking deal to her older brother, Ford being his best friend and all. Although not anymore. Apparently, they hadn’t spoken much at all since Ford and Liv decided they didn’t care what he thought and they wanted to be together. If only it had been that easy for me and LJ.
“Plus, you’ve checked the time at least twenty times in the twenty minutes you’ve been here. I was like that all the time when Ford was traveling to games.”
Deflecting and evading these questions had become second nature, a holdover from all the times I hadn’t wanted everyone to know I was pining after my best friend that had continued until LJ had said we should keep what we were doing just between us. “Still not convincing enough. He’s my best friend. Of course, I’d want to know when he got in.”
“I thought I was your best friend.”
I glared. And LJ said I was a pain in the ass?
“Plus, you have a used condom stuck to the back of your jeans.”
I shot up from my seat. “Sonabitch. I threw that away.” Spinning in circles, I tried to find the gross latex.
Liv perched on the edge of the couch, lips twitching like she was a second from cracking.
Grabbing an overstuffed pillow off the couch, I lobbed it at her. “You’re the worst.” My screech could probably be heard in New Jersey.
“Oh, my bad. It was just some tape.” She burst into laughter and pulled the piece of tape off the back of my jeans, waving it in front of me. “Not sleeping together, huh?”
I flung myself onto the plush ottoman beside me, staring up at the exposed-beam ceiling. Well, so much for maintaining my cover. I’d make a terrible cop. But now it wasn’t so scary to let someone in. Liv had always suspected something was going on between us, even when I’d thought it wasn’t possible.
I glanced around, checking over my shoulder like anyone else was inside other than the two of us. “We’ve been sleeping together for almost three weeks now. Technically, only a couple times because of his stupid football schedule, but we’ve definitely crossed over the line from friends to more than friends. There, are you happy?” It all came out in a rush. I felt a flood of relief that someone finally knew.
“Supremely,” she beamed. “I swore one day you’d just trip and end up on his dick with all the flirting you two did all the time.”
“We didn’t flirt.”
“Right?” She nodded, looking at me like I was a delusional doofus. “You two have been foreplaying for at least a decade.”
“Gross. We were twelve.”
“You didn’t have the hots for him when you were a pre-teen?”
“No, that was squarely high school territory. The first summer after football camp where he took off his shirt and the bird chest was gone.” Right before diving into the pool. I swear, I choked on my gum when he emerged from the water, glistening with rippling muscles.
“Do the guys know? Have you two been driving them from the house with your hours-long sex sessions?”
“Ew, what the hell?” And if there had been a doubt in my mind about whether we should shout about sleeping together from the rooftops here they’d been evaporated. “Is that what you and Ford were doing when you got together under the cover of night and, oh, posted to the internet.”
“Only for a few hours.” She flinched and glared.
Whoops, probably crossed a line there bringing up the voyeur sex clip of Ford and Liv celebrating her 21st birthday in May.
“No, we haven’t told anyone. And you can’t tell anyone either.” I jabbed a finger in her direction.
Liv was an excellent secret keeper. It was part of the reason things had gone south with her brother. It turns out brothers tended to not like you hiding that you’re dating their best friend behind their back. So if anyone was a vault and knew how important it was to keep this quiet, it was Liv.
“Your secret is safe with me. Does this mean you two are dating?” She made a swoony face I was seconds away from clobbering with another pillow.
“Things are fluid. There aren’t any real plans beyond just enjoying the time we have together. He’ll be headed to the draft in April and I’m going to Venice for two years.” I shrugged. “There’s no point in making long term plans right now.”
“Come on!” She slammed her hands down on the pillow on her lap. “You two have been dancing around this for so long and now that you’re finally banging you’re like ‘oh, we’re just keeping it casual.’”
“What else am I supposed to do? I can’t give up Italy and he’s not going to give up football. Our lives will be crazy, why throw relationship expectations on top of that?” I’d run through it all hundreds of times in my head. Asking either of us to give up our dreams would lead to anger and resentment. It was better to hold onto what we had and let it go when the time came rather than clinging to it and destroying each other.
“Because you two care about each other.”
“We’ve been friends for a long time, but I’ve been burned before when it comes to expecting too much from the people in my life. You can’t be disappointed if you don’t have expectations.” We’d avoided any serious talks, and I planned on keeping it that way. Then at least I could pretend I wasn’t falling in love with him and didn’t know how I’d make it being apart from him for two years.
“So the plan is you go to Italy, he goes pro and then what? You never see each other again?”
I shrugged, not wanting to answer the questions that had been rolling through my head since I landed in August.
“Be serious. Do you honestly think he’s going to get drafted and then never speak to you again?”
“It’s a crazy life. He’ll be traveling all the time. Tons of attention. And I won’t be there. How can I expect him not to get caught up in the pro football world?”