"I've heard desserts in Paris are amazing. Now what was your favourite?"
My mind flashed to Maddox sitting across from me, his eyes closed as he took the first bite of the crème brûlée. "I'd have to say the crème brûlée."
"And did you end up treating yourself and eat in the Eiffel Tower or did you just pass? I know you were so excited about that, and I swear if you tell me no after the way Derrick treated you over that, I think I may disown you. I swear if I had been in your shoes, I would have charged that dinner on the asshole’s credit card. Make him pay for it, because I am sure it wasn't a cheap meal. Would have served him right."
A funny feeling came over me as I thought back to that night. That was the first night that Maddox had kissed me. I could still feel his lips on mine, still smell the scent of the cologne he wore as he leaned into me. I softly smiled. "Yes, it was beyond anything I ever could have imagined. The view, the food, everything was so perfect."
That description couldn't have been further from the truth. Everything had been perfect. When I finally pulled myself out of the memory, I looked over to my best friend who sat staring at me, a curious look on her face. She put her elbow on the table and then rested her chin on her hand.
"What?" I questioned.
"You look...hmmm...you look happy," she said, squinting her eyes at me.
"So, I am happy. I just spent ten days in an absolutely beautiful city."
"Yes, you did, but you also just got your heart broken." She faltered, pointing at me with her fork.
I blinked at her words as if I had just realized it myself. Derrick had barely entered my mind since we'd returned. My head and heart had been consumed by Maddox. It was almost as if Derrick had never even existed.
"I guess I just figured that you would still be hurting."
I thought before I answered her, thinking back to Maddox and the night he had told me about his fiancée. A soft smile fell on my lips as his words flashed through my mind. I smiled. "I guess time has a way of healing a broken heart, and how fast it heals depends on how deep the wound was to begin with. I guess the wound wasn't as deep as I first thought." I shrugged.
Laura looked at me with a shocked expression. "What… the hell… happened to you?"
I shrugged. "Guess you could say I did a little soul searching while I was gone, and through that I learned a little about myself."
"Hmm, I see. A certain someone wouldn't have anything to do about that, would he?"
I swallowed hard and picked up my wine, just as our food arrived at the table and a bowl of pasta was slipped in front of me.
"Looks delicious," I said, picking up my fork and digging into my pasta.
"Oh no, no way. You're not getting away from that question," Laura said, looking over at me, a sly smile on her face. "Spill it."
The memory of Maddox holding me in his arms the last few nights of our trip flashed through my mind. My body instantly heated at the memory of his touch. I thought about the first time we had sex, how gentle and attentive he had been, how he made sure that every single time we had done it, I was comfortable with every step. He never once took anything for granted, nor did he make me feel as if I were just something he was trying to conquer. I felt all the emotion he carried in every touch, every glance, and every kiss he had bestowed upon me. I saw the way he looked at me afterward as well. There was never a moment that I doubted or regretted anything that had happened between us, just that I did not run down the walkway the night he dropped me at home. A warm feeling came over me as Laura sat and watched me, and I felt my cheeks heat as the realization hit me.
I blew out a breath as I nodded. "He might have." I smiled.
"Oh my God," Laura said, her jaw dropping.
"What?" I questioned, taking in her expression.
"Did you two...you know?"
I bit my bottom lip and nodded, completely unsure if I should say anything at all, as a flood of excitement ran through my body.
"...and..."
That was when the realization hit me I knew how he felt about me. I wasn't sure what to call it, but I knew that I had pushed away possibly the greatest thing to ever happen to me because I was afraid. I was afraid of how intensely I felt about him. Never in my life had I had someone I ever felt that strongly about, not even Derrick, and I guess that was why I hadn't even thought of him since. I had spent all that time on the plane crying in his arms because I didn't want to let him go, only to realize that I didn't know how to tell him. He stood in the entryway of my house after he dropped me off, tension and silence building between us because he didn't know how to tell me either.
"... and I threw it all away because I didn't know how to tell him how I felt," I said as a heavy weight descended on my chest.
Laura looked down at the table, a smile coming to her lips. "I don't think you've thrown anything away. I think you just need to take a moment and organize your thoughts and then call that deliciously sexy man and tell him you want him."
I shook my head. "No, Laura, it's way too late," I said, pulling my fork through my pasta.
"You only think that, but, Tess, if you don’t tell him, in five years, you’ll be regretting that choice. So, I think you should do it today, right after lunch. Perhaps in the car on the way back home." She winked.
I couldn't help but giggle as excitement filled me. "He makes me happy."
"I can tell." Laura laughed, picking up her fork and digging into her salad. "Do you think he feels the same way?"
"I do. I really do," I murmured.
"All right then, so if you know he feels that way, then what are you so afraid of. We are going to treat this lunch as a work meeting because we need to hatch a plan. I want you ready when you leave here, I want you to feel confident and go out there and get that man."
Laura and I had finished our Friday afternoon lunch at two, and before she would let me leave the restaurant, she had scribbled something on a sheet of paper, folded it up, and shoved it at me. "Here, this is your plan. Put it in your purse. Don't look at it, and if you get home and sit down to call him and get nervous, only then can you read what I wrote." She giggled, shoving the folded piece of paper into my hand.
I'd driven home feeling amazing and full of confidence, but as the day had passed, those feelings faded, and all of my insecurities came flooding back full force.
It was a little after four, and I sat curled up in my chair in the living room, a hot cup of tea sitting beside me. I glanced across the living room and saw something sitting underneath a pile of bills on my corner desk. I went over shoved the bills aside and smiled as I looked down at the picture of Maddox and me from the airport that he had framed. I couldn’t help but smile as I looked at him. The happiness in his eyes as he hugged me close, waiting for me to snap the picture. I set the frame on the table beside my mug of hot tea, and then I reached for the phone. I was so nervous my hand shook. Just breathe, I whispered to myself as I began to dial his number.
I was just about to dial the last number when someone knocked on the door. I frowned. I wasn't expecting anybody, I thought, making my way to the front door. I pulled the door open, and all the blood drained from my face. Derrick stood there, his coat wrapped tightly around him.