“Let me be the judge of that.”
“All right then. I tell you what. If I live through this, I’m all yours.”
I smiled. “Promise?”
Studying me, the playfulness faded from his face. “I hate that you put yourself in danger. This place is death, Dani.”
“Not for you, it’s not. I’m your hero, remember? Have a little faith.”
He studied me like I was some alien species. “I’ve never met anyone like you, and I’ve met a lot of people in my life. It pisses me off that I wasted so much time hating you.”
“But did you, really? Because I seem to recall you spying on me from time to time behind the blinds, RJ.”
He laughed. “You saw that, huh?”
“Oh, I saw it. I kept waiting for you to slide that door open and make all kinds of sweet love to me, you coward.”
“Really? Because that wasn’t the vibe you were giving off.”
“No?” I questioned, all innocent-like. “And what vibe was that?”
“The kind of vibe where you’d rip my nuts off if I stepped foot on the deck.”
“Ah.” I waved off his concern. “You men are so sensitive nowadays.”
The playfulness in his eyes vanished, replaced by a smoldering sexiness. “You’re right. I should’ve slid that door wide open and made sweet love to you.”
“And I would’ve ripped your nuts off.”
We both laughed, knowing every bit of both of our declarations was very true.
“Hey,” he said, suddenly serious. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done to make you crazy. I was… in a bad place, and I took it out on you. But if I survive this shit, I’ll make it up to you, Dani. I’ll be a better man. You’ll see.”
I believed him, every single fantastical word, wanting to be there along his path to self-discovery. Dropping my hands into the dirt, I leaned in on all fours and kissed him. It was quick and unplanned, but it was out there now, no takebacks. His eyes held mine, so heated and inviting. He was challenging me to continue the kiss, while offering no effort whatsoever on his part. RJ knew well that all he needed to do was hang back, and women would come to him.
Cocky bastard.
And yet…
Cupping his whiskered face in my hands, I pressed my lips against his lusciously parted ones and flicked his tongue with my own. And then I pulled back and waited, confident enough in my kiss that he would be back for more.
RJ smiled, understanding this game very well.
“Come here,” he said ever so gravelly.
I’d never heard anything quite so inviting. Everything in my body wanted to cave to this sexy man in the hole. But RJ needed a course correction. He needed to know who was in control.
Returning his smoldering gaze, I shook my head. “You know, I don’t think I will.”
Still on all fours, I hung there in lusty suspension with my lips parted and waiting. Come on, you asshole. You know you want it.
And then he leaned in, his fingers outlining my lips and sending a fiery explosion to my core. My god, he was good. Even fastened to the earth, he could still set me ablaze. How stupid of me to think I could win this game. RJ was to seduction what Donny was to Call of Duty. Both were at the top of their game. I’d never had a chance.
Tangling my hand into his hair, my mouth was suddenly on his. I could feel the curve of his smile against my lips as he silently celebrated his victory. But it was short-lived as the kiss grew deeper and he plunged his tongue between my lips.
He drew back suddenly, his heavy-lidded eyes fixed on me, wrought with lust. Heat coiled in my belly. I couldn’t keep away. He shouldn’t make me. My lips crashed into his again, vying for possession. Every single thing about the kiss was off the charts, almost like I was only now just realizing that I’d been doing it wrong all this time. This right here was what I’d been missing, this hunger that nearly stopped my heart.
I understood now that from the moment he’d moved in next door, RJ had changed me. By challenging everything I’d thought I knew about myself, he’d awakened a fighting spirit in me that my domineering mother had shut down somewhere along the way. She wouldn’t like this new me—this spark RJ had ignited. She’d blame it on my father’s side of the family, but that wasn’t the least bit true.
This could all be pinned on the infuriatingly sexy man next door.
13
RJ: A Close Shave
This wild girl, her fingers wrapped in my hair. I wanted everything with her, and would have taken it too, if I hadn’t been sentenced to eternity in a hole not meant for two. But that kiss… It was purgatory, that frustrating place between life and death. My body screamed for Dani at the very time it was preparing for the end. Before she’d come back, I’d accepted my fate, allowing the darkness and misery to invade. But now that she was here, there was light and hope and lust. I’d gone from withering away in my grave to having it all. But this was all a mirage! No, worse, it was torture because it was a taste of what life could be like if someone were to come and save me. But they wouldn’t. This was my end.
And somehow—some way—I had to let Dani go.
I pulled away. She reached for me, wanting more, but I rebuked her efforts.
So much I wanted to say, but nothing seemed right. She must have sensed my conflict.
“Hey,” she said, pressing a featherlight kiss to my lips. “We’ll get through this.”
I nodded, not wanting to dampen her faith but also understanding that ‘we’ was not part of this equation. Dani had risked everything to come back to me, and now I had to do the same for her—convince her to go. Albeit kissing her was probably not the best way to make that happen.
Cupping the back of her neck, I leaned my forehead onto hers and grazed her sweet lips with my thumb. I couldn’t remember ever feeling desire like this. It was more than sexual, it was emotional, and that was what made our connection so sizzling. I’d finally found my perfect match—hours before dying.
“You have to go,” I whispered.
“No,” she whispered back.
“Yes.”
“No.”
I pulled away. This woman never listened. Ever. I both loved and hated her resolve. But this devotion she had to a lost cause… it damn near killed me.
“Dani. You’ll die in here.”
She leaned back in and whispered, “I don’t believe that.”
We stared at one another for the longest time. I wanted to shake some sense into her, but I knew it wouldn’t change Dani’s mind. She’d decided to believe in a fairy tale where everything worked out in the end. But our story was not going to wrap up so nicely, and I think, deep down, she knew it.
Dani returned to a seated position in the dirt, dusting herself off all while keeping her eyes trained on me. It was as if she were awaiting my next move. Like I had one. If ever I’d been stripped down to the naked core, it was now, and without all the fancy packaging, I was nothing but that insecure little boy begging for love and acceptance.
Dani’s loyalty to me at my most vulnerable was as remarkable as it was depressing. She barely knew me, and yet, still she had more allegiance to me than did my own parents—neither of whom would’ve stayed here by my side so I wouldn’t have to face the end alone.