“I think Landry is pretty harmless,” Dani said, grabbing another card from the deck and rearranging her hand. “Do you have any nines?”
“Go fish.”
“He’s more emotionally immature than anything else.”
“Dani, he has a clipping of his mother’s hair in a little container he wears around his neck. And she’s not dead. Next thing you know, he’ll be draped in her skin and wearing her as a fashion statement.”
She unraveled her legs in order to stretch one out and tapped me with her dirty shoe. “Be nice.”
“I’m never nice,” I said, pushing her foot away. “Stop kicking me. You do realize I have major injuries, right?”
“You do realize you insulted my brother, right?”
“He’s your sperm brother, Dani,” I corrected. “It’s not like you took baths together as kids.”
“First, ew. And second, why are you never nice?”
“Because no one requires me to be.”
“That’s such a celebrity thing. You people think you can act however you want.”
“Hey, I don’t make the rules.” I shrugged, checking my hand before calling out, “Do you have any fours?”
Dani made a face and handed over two cards.
I laid four fours down.
“So, what if you had to be nice?”
“Like if someone was torturing me or something?”
Dani rolled her eyes. “Sure.”
“I fake it.”
“You fake it?”
“Yeah. Like at concerts, I smile and pretend that I like the fans. But the truth is, I barely tolerate them.”
“RJ,” she complained. “They’re kids.”
“I know, and that’s why I pretend.”
Her eyes were wide with surprise. “My god. You need to be socialized with other humans. As soon as we get out of here, I’m going to set up playdates and teach you how to play nice with others.”
“Good luck with that. Do you have any jacks?”
“No. Go fish.”
I picked a card. “And you’re socialized? You’ve never dropped the f-bomb in class before?”
“Of course not. They’re six and seven years old.”
“So?”
“So, they’re impressionable. Last thing I want is a bunch of potty-mouthed RJs running around.”
“You’re telling me you’ve never sworn once around them.”
“Nope. Not even when Ardavan accidentally shit on me.”
The things she said. I shook my head, laughing under my breath as I passed over a two of hearts.
“You wanna know, don’t you?” she asked, looking up from her cards with mischief in her eyes. “Let me shave off your beard and I’ll tell you.”
No way did I need to hear her story that bad, but I liked having something she wanted, and if shearing my face made her happy, maybe my act of kindness might be the difference between heaven and hell.
“Say pretty please.” I smiled. “And I might just let you.”
14
Dani: Making Contact
It took one pair of scissors, two razors, and three Band-Aids to get the nastiness off RJ’s face, but it was all worth it when I watched him examine his smooth jawline in the small handheld mirror under the warm lights of the camp lantern.
“Damn. I look good.”
The understatement of the year. Shaving that face of his, revealing it one stroke of the razor at a time, had been like a religious experience. The way he pursed his lips when I shaved up his neck. The way his eyes watched me with a mix of both trust and terror. The way he cursed me under his breath when he felt the nick of the blade. Oh lord, I needed a shower.
But any animosity he might have been harboring during the weed-whacking was forgotten when the hunk of a man saw his reflection in the mirror.
“I forgot how fucking handsome I am.”
“And you wonder why I didn’t recognize you, Chad Woodcock.”
Surrounded by mounds of coarse stubble, I bent down and blew them in the opposite direction.
“Whoa, do you have any idea how much that’s worth? You should gather it up and sell it on eBay. If I die, you’ll make a small fortune.”
I really hated when he referred to his death like it was a forgone conclusion. He might not have had any faith, but I still did. Granted, I didn’t know what was going on inside of him, but I knew he was injured just by the way he flinched at the slightest movement or the way his breathing was becoming shallower. Despite the brave face he was putting on, I knew he was struggling. That was why I played card games with him and even shaved him. It was my way of keeping him focused on something other than death. And what could refocus a man’s attention like a woman with a blade to his throat?
“You know I don’t like it when you talk like that,” I said.
His gaze shifted from his reflection to me. He wanted to say something but refrained. It was almost like he was pitying me. And maybe, yes, I was in denial, but until I had no more hope, I would do everything I could to keep this boy alive.
“Sorry.”
I nodded, fighting the tears that had flowed easily all day. I desperately didn’t want him to die. There was just so much more I wanted from him. On my walk back from the store, I’d manifested our post-quake life together, and it was a glorious one. I wasn’t about to give up on it without a fight.
“Actually, instead of eBay, maybe you could donate it to some hairless dude who can’t grow his own beard.”
“I like that,” I said. “Pay it forward.”
“Exactly.”
Our eyes locked.
“You really are a beautiful man—beard or no beard.”
“And you’re a beautiful woman.” He reached out and touched a strand of my hair that had fallen from the elastic band. “Did you know I have a thing for your hair?”
“You do?”
“The way it bounces in those high ponytails. It’s like every time you walk away, your hair flips me off. I love it.”
I laughed because that was exactly what I’d intended it to do. I tossed my hair in his face.
He grabbed the ponytail and tugged me toward him, whispering in my ear,
“If I wasn’t tethered to the earth, you’d already be on your back.”
“No, RJ. You’d be the one on your back.”
His eyes flickered with lust. He wanted me, and I had no doubt that, if he’d been of sound body and mind, RJ would’ve taken me on a ride. But he wasn’t okay. We weren’t okay, because if that building came down on our heads, neither of us would ever long for the other again.
Perhaps reading my mind, RJ let go of my hair and leaned back. His eyes closed. He was so tired. Was it right to keep him from sleep? Maybe it would help his body recover… or maybe he’d never wake up. I couldn’t take the chance.
“Do you want to play some more card games?”
“I want to, but I’m winding down,” RJ replied. “Can we just talk?”
“You’re asking Dani Malone if she wants to talk?”
“Tell me about your job. Your students.”