Her head drooping, my mother turned her back to me and opened the door. “For what it’s worth, RJ, I’m sorry.”
“For what it’s worth, Heather, I would’ve loved you.”
24
Dani: Some Like it Rough
Talk about a reversal in fortune. After days of trying to work my way back into the hospital, I was now entering through the electronic doors with my head held high and in the company of some very powerful allies. Heads turned, mouths dropped open, and cell phones were extracted from pockets as our formidable parade of boy-banders came strolling in with all the confidence in the world.
Lead by our commander in chief, Tucker Beckett, the rest of us fell in line, walking two-by-two like animals preparing to board the Ark. Just behind the mighty Hollywood manager was a pair of crisp-suited lawyers. Following them were the AnyDayNow boys, Bodhi and Hunter, and then behind them, Shawn and Dane. And bringing up the rear, linked arm in arm and propelled by our very own tailwind, were Breeze and me.
You know when you meet that one person who just gets you? Well, that was Breeze. In the few hours it took to draw up the documents needed for the rescue effort, I’d already gone shopping in her closet; gotten a haircut, highlight, and blow-dry from my new hairstylist best friend; and watched half of the first episode of Gilmore Girls before Bodhi popped his head in and informed us that Operation Save RJ was a go.
And now here I was, walking down a long corridor, preparing to see RJ for the first time since the parking garage.
Breeze leaned into me. “You excited?”
“Yes,” I replied. “But the kind of excited where I’m more terrified than excited.”
“Ah. Like amusement park ride excited?”
“Uh-huh, but like that feeling you get after the ride has been closed for a while due to someone falling out of their harness, dangling upside down, and screaming for their life. That kind of amusement park ride excited.”
“Very specific,” she mused. “Thank you for clarifying your level of excitement. I can see why RJ likes you.”
“But does he? His infatuation could be purely disaster-related.”
“Or he can see in you what I see in you. Girl, I’d date you.”
“Oh, my god.” I squeezed her arm tighter. “I’d date you too.”
“We’d be so good together,” she agreed. “If only we didn’t have the earth’s most desirable guys getting in the way.”
“Yes.” I sighed. “If only.”
We giggled, but insecurities piled on top of me faster than I could flick them off. Earth’s most desirable guys. Holy freakin’ shit. What was I thinking? I couldn’t hold on to RJ the pop star. I couldn’t even hold on to Jeremy the accountant.
“Dani,” Breeze said, sensing my anxiety levels rising. “Breathe.”
“I can’t,” I replied, slowly unraveling. “I did a thing.”
“You did a thing? What did you do?”
“I googled the words RJ and girlfriend.”
“Uh-oh,” she gasped. “Don’t do that.”
“I already did,” I snipped. “And now I can’t take it back. Guess what? I’m not his type.”
“What is his type?”
“Not five-foot-two elementary school teachers.”
Breeze stopped and grasped my face. “Who cares if he dated gorgeous models and actresses? They didn’t last, now, did they?”
“No, and I’m pretty sure I won’t either.”
“Look, shrimp, I get your fears. I had the same ones. What would someone like Bodhi want with a regular girl like me? I know if we’d met in the conventional way, like at a bar or something, he wouldn’t have given me a second glance. But listen to me, Dani. The first time I saw Bodhi Beckett, he was covered in ashes and nearly ran me down with his car. We didn’t meet in a conventional way, and neither did you and RJ. What you have is different than what he’s had with other women. You know that. So stop letting those nasty insecurities fill your head with doubt. A five-foot-two elementary school teacher is just what he needs.”
I drew in a soothing breath. She was right. Our connection was stronger than sky-high legs and perfect cheekbones.
“Thank you.” I hugged her. “If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve become one of those romance book heroines who talks herself out of being with the perfect guy for no apparent reason.”
“I know. I saw you headed in that direction, so I rewrote the ending. I got your back, girl. We’re besties now.”
Stars glittered in my eyes. “We are?”
“Of course. I don’t share deodorant with just anyone.”
“And I’d let you drink out of my straw.”
She slapped a hand to her chest theatrically.
We giggled. We were just fun like that.
“Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” she said.
“How well do you know RJ?”
“Not that well. I came into the picture just before AnyDayNow broke up and the boys went their separate ways.”
“But he and Bodhi remained close, right?”
Breeze’s brows furrowed. “Yes, but…”
My eyes widened. The plot was thickening. Despite spending the most intense hours of my life with RJ, he was still a mystery to me, and I was counting on Breeze to help solve him.
“RJ distanced himself after the breakup. Maybe because he was working on the album; I don’t know. But Bodhi was worried about him and wouldn’t tell me why. He tells me everything, so don’t think I didn’t try. Anyway, about five months ago, right after launching his solo album, RJ disappeared. All his shows were canceled. He fired his manager. He wouldn’t answer his phone.”
“That’s when I met him. Total recluse. Barely left his place. Didn’t work. Looked like the Taliban.”
“Huh. RJ’s always been so put together. So polished. Never a hair out of place.”
“That’s not the RJ I knew. Mine looked like an unclipped Goldendoodle.”
“He must’ve really been struggling then. Here’s the thing about RJ. He talks a big game, but he’s actually a really sensitive guy. I get the feeling he didn’t have the easiest childhood. He has this need to be loved at all costs, and when he didn’t get that affirmation with his solo album, it messed him all up.”
I nodded, remembering our conversation in the parking garage. “It did.”
Breeze studied me, curious. “I imagine the two of you talked about some heavy things in there.”
“We did. I just hope he doesn’t regret the things he said.”
“The two of you survived something horrific together, like Bodhi and I did. Believe me, Dani, an experience like that changes you,” Breeze said. “That bond… it never goes away.”
Our group had come as far as we could. Until RJ signed the papers, we were not welcome on his floor. Armed with documents to prove their purpose, Tucker and the lawyers were the only ones allowed on the ward.
The rest of us waited outside the double doors. At first, the guys were patient and respectful, like good little choir boys, but as the wait stretched on, one by one the AnyDayNow boys disintegrated into chaos.