Did Seth do the right thing with her because she got pregnant? Or would he do to her what he did to me?
I shouldn’t have, but I went down the rabbit hole of stalking her Instagram, and what I found made me feel worse. She looked sweet, and all her captions talking about how she’d finally found a good man broke my heart.
She didn’t know about me when they started dating. There was no way. Seth had obviously lied to her. It would have been easier if she were a homewrecker who destroyed my relationship.
Rage crawled up from deep in my stomach. I didn’t want to work in the same shop as that asshole. I was so pissed at my brother for doing this to me. Maybe it was time to cut my city ties for good. I could find a shop closer to home—hell, there was an all-women-run one in town that I’d been to a few times. I didn’t think they were hiring, but I could talk to the owner. Maybe I should cut myself off from everyone and start fresh. That way, I’d finally get over what Seth did.
Chapter Fifteen
BLAISE
“Is your girl gonna come to the game tonight?” TJ asked me from across the table.
We were back home tonight and having our pre-game meal in the players’ lounge. We’d lost two games on the road, and things were looking business as usual for the team. I had been a fan of this team for a long time, so I had that Philly pessimism about me. Not good when you played on the team.
I shrugged. “Not sure. I don’t know if she’s working today.”
I hadn’t talked to Veronica in a couple of days. She texted me some photos of dress options for the wedding, but since then, she’d been radio silent. We might be sleeping together and pretending we were dating, but she made it clear that was all it was. I wasn’t about to get clingy over it.
“What does that have to do with anything?” TJ asked with a furrowed brow.
Noah nudged him. “Veronica lives out in the suburbs.”
“So?” Benny asked. “Lots of guys live out on the Main Line, and their girls always make the trek out.”
I shook my head.
I hadn’t been on the team all that long, but I already felt like I slotted in with these guys. Knowing TJ’s girl helped. Or the fact I was a Holmstrom. I didn’t let it show, but it was annoying when guys asked what it was like to have such a legend for a dad. The only thing I remembered from my dad’s playing days was when he left it all behind because Mom got sick.
I turned around at the tap on my shoulder and was a little surprised to see our head coach, Claude LaVoie, standing behind me. “Blaise, can I have a word before you head out for your pre-game nap?”
I was thankful for the interruption, as it distracted the boys from their interrogation. “Sure. I’m just about done.”
I threw my trash away and followed him into his office. He took the seat behind his desk and steepled his hands.
I uncomfortably took a seat on the other side of the desk, but I felt like I had been sent to the Principal’s office. That was a familiar feeling; I was there a lot as a kid.
“Blaise, I want to level with you. You’re a good defenseman, but I don’t think you’re working to your potential.”
“Okay…”
“You’re great at being a stay-at-home defenseman, and you and Cully are working well together, but with your defensive style and Riley’s ability to put up numbers, you need to be back on the line together.”
I nodded. Riley and I were a good pair, but Logan and I worked well together, too. LaVoie was the head coach, so he was the person in charge of making the lines. I wasn’t sure why he was telling me this.
“Okay, sure.”
“Kid, are you okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
He squinted at me. “You seemed distracted in the last couple of games. I know adjusting to a new system, new team, new locker room hierarchy, and all that bullshit can be tough, but I thought you were slotting your place here.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “It’s family shit. I’ll sort it.”
He nodded in understanding. “Okay, get out of here. I want you well-rested for the game tonight. Your girl gonna come?”
I shook my head. “Ah…she does not give a fuck about hockey.”
He laughed. “Honest! I like her already.”
I laughed. “Yeah, me too.”
“It’s nice to have the support, though, you know? Sometimes it helps us knowing they’re cheering us on and that if it goes to shit, they’ll pick up the pieces.”
I nodded.
I assumed it was nice, but I never knew. I could count on my hand the number of times Astrid came to support me. I didn’t think it was fair to ask Veronica to always cheer me on when Astrid never did.
Coach dismissed me, and I headed home for my pre-game nap. I was thankful Dad wasn’t home. We’d barely said two words to each other since I stormed out of his bar. I shouldn’t have moved home. I should have found my own place, but there was a small part of me that worried about the old man. He’d been a distant shell of a person since Mom died, and Michael was worried about him being lonely now that we were almost all out of the house.
That was probably why sleep didn’t come. My brain replayed how I acted like a child. I still had all this animosity toward Dad for shutting down when we were kids and forcing us to fend for ourselves. The worst part? He was right. I was exactly like him, and I hated that.
I stared into the dark of my bedroom and noticed there was a pair of women’s underwear on my floor. I got out of bed and threw it in my hamper. Veronica hadn’t done that on purpose, she had been in a rush when she left the house that morning, but it didn’t stop my horny brain from thinking about all the fun we had gotten up to. Or how the last time I saw her, she let me take her as hard and rough as I wanted, letting me take my frustrations with my dad out on her body.
That was the best thing about this casual arrangement with her. She didn’t ask for anything. I didn’t have to get attached to her. We’d fuck our way through the month, and then after her douchebag ex’s wedding, we’d go our separate ways. I didn’t need her to come to my games.
So why was my hand hovering over the text message thread with her, trying to see if I should even bother?
ME: Will you come to the game tonight?
VERONICA: You need your fake girlfriend to make an appearance?
ME: Something like that.
VERONICA: Sure.
I re-taped my stick for the fifth time and bounced my knee in anticipation. Riley put his hand on my leg. “Dude, stop obsessively stick-taping. That’s my thing,” he joked.
The big blonde man looked like he could be another one of my brothers, only he was tanned, and I was so pale, I was translucent. I ran my hand through my hair and put my helmet on. I didn’t know why I was nervous tonight. Maybe because Veronica was coming to another game. Or because Riley and I were paired again, and I was worried about my performance on the ice.
Girard, our captain, was doing a pep talk and getting us amped to go out for warm-ups. He was an excellent captain, a little serious, but a good leader. He reminded me of my oldest brother, Eli, which was funny because we were playing Montreal tonight.