I heard knocking on my front door, and I went down the steps to let Liv in.
“I come with junk food and good coffee,” she cheered, holding up the Wawa bag.
“I love you,” I told her.
“Hey, your landlord finally put that railing in,” she noted as we walked up the steps.
I cringed, remembering how I shoved the boundary in Blaise’s face. “Actually, Blaise did it. It’s why we got into that fight.”
“Aw, that’s sweet. That’s a total boyfriend move.”
“Yeah, but I had to remind him he wasn’t.”
She gave me another hug and then shooed me into my tiny living room. I slumped onto my truly uncomfortable futon, a hand-me-down from Alex, and turned on my game console to open my streaming service.
Liv came back with a bowl of chips, a stuffed pretzel, and some chocolate. I clicked on the reality show she liked that I pretended to hate, and we melted our brains with it.
“Who’s at the front desk today?” I asked.
“Oh, Alex and Eddie closed for the weekend since both you and Seth would be preoccupied.”
“What? We’re going to lose so much money not being open this weekend.”
“We’re okay,” she reassured me. But I did the books; we were still a struggling new business trying to get our heads above water. Why would Alex and Eddie make that decision?
“No, we’re not,” I argued.
She kicked my foot. “Let’s not talk about work, okay? Kelly starts on Monday, so hopefully that helps.”
“I think we’re going to keep Seth for a bit. Alex and I talked about it.”
“Are you talking again?”
I sighed. “I’m still pissed at him, but I get why he did it. I wished he had warned me. Maybe I wouldn’t have concocted the plan to fake date Blaise. Then I wouldn’t be feeling like this today.”
Olivia gave me a small smile. “Oh, V. You really fell for him, huh?”
“I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t supposed to. And now he’s gone! Just like Seth.”
I sipped my coffee and rolled my eyes when my phone buzzed. It hadn’t taken long for everyone to start in on me about the breakup. I was a little surprised to hear from Dinah first.
DINAH: Are you okay? I heard about you and Blaise.
ME: Fine.
DINAH: V!
ME: Okay, I’m wallowing a bit.
DINAH: Look, I know them being away’s hard, but if you love him, you’ll push through.
I sighed and didn’t answer her. I didn’t want to think about this or have any of the other WAGs try to persuade me to get back together with Blaise. None of it had been real. I had to keep reminding my heart that we agreed to no feelings.
I noticed Liv staring at the work-in-progress painting I had leaning against the window. It wasn’t my normal still-life or floral-type painting; it was a painting of Blaise looking strong and powerful on the ice. I wasn’t even sure why I started it. Maybe because the man had dug his way into my heart. I hadn’t shown it to him, and now I wasn’t sure if I was going to finish it.
She gave me a sad look. “Oh, Veronica.”
“I know.”
“Don’t you have that art show?”
“Yeah, but I think I’m gonna toss that.”
My best friend squeezed my hand. “You should finish it.”
I shook my head. “What’s the point?”
She narrowed her dark eyes at me and put a finger in my face. “Veronica O’Malley, you never stop a project. As long as I have known you, you suffer over your art because it’s the only thing that makes you happy. You never give up on something.”
“Liv, can you drop it?”
She glared at me. “No! You finish that painting. And then when you have that art show, that needs to be what you display.”
“Why?” I grumbled and shoved more food into my mouth.
“Because you put your heart and soul into it, and you can’t leave it hanging.”
I groaned because she was right. I had to finish the painting, and I had to hang it for the art show I was supposed to be a part of in a couple of weeks. Today I could wallow, but tomorrow I’d pick myself back up and get shit done.
“V?”
I wiped my eyes for the millionth time today. “Sorry, I’m a wreck.”
Olivia gave me a sympathetic smile, and I felt the déjà vu of when I woke up and Seth had disappeared. Last night was it for Blaise and me, but when I woke up and he was gone, it was like all that pain from Seth came back to me. Everyone left me, so what was the point in even trying?
“Why didn’t you tell him how you felt?” she asked.
I shook my head. “It was just sex. Our relationship wasn’t real.”
Olivia squeezed my hand. “Honey, I don’t think that’s true.”
“No, we both knew the score. We’re done. It’s better this way.”
She gave me a sympathetic smile because we both knew I was lying.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
BLAISE
* * *
JANUARY
“AGAIN!” Coach LaVoie yelled on the other side of the ice, and we ran through skating lines again. My chest was heaving, and I felt like I was going to die. A side-glance to my defensive partner Riley told me it wasn’t just me.
It had been a couple of months since I last saw Veronica, and I was playing like garbage. I knew it was because I let myself catch feelings. I didn’t think one person could cause a whole hockey team to mess up their season, but guilt weighed me down. Hence why our practice was unusually long, and we were working our asses off trying not to piss off Coach.
We finished the set, and Coach dismissed us. “Holmstrom! A word after you hit the showers?” Coach called out to me.
I wiped the sweat off my eye-shield and nodded. Riley cringed. “Oh, what did you do?”
I sighed. “Not play good enough.”
He nodded. “You’ve got things to work on, sure, but we’ll figure it out together. We’re a team.”
“Appreciate it. Hey, how’s Fi doing?” I asked. He beamed as we got off the ice and walked back into the locker room.
I stripped off my jersey and threw it in the bin, and started taking off all my pads.
Riley pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me. I squinted at the grainy sonogram. A spike of jealousy ran through me, which was weird because I wasn’t planning on having kids anytime soon.
“Dude, I’m so happy for you,” I said to Riley, which was true. I was also sad for myself. The full-on Blaise Holmstrom emotional spectrum, everybody!
He took it back and left it up in the top of his cubby.
“You’re not thinking of retiring, right?” I asked.
“Nah, dude. I'm an alternate captain while G’s injured. Someone’s gotta keep you fuckers in line!”
I laughed, then took off the rest of my equipment and hopped into the shower. I dressed quickly and knocked on Coach’s office door. He looked up from his notes. “Holmstrom, shut the door.”
That was never good.
I shut the door and took a seat in the chair across from him. “Am I getting traded?”