“Thank you,” I mumbled.
He didn’t let go of my arms, though, didn’t step back, and when I glanced up at him, I was shocked at the heat I saw in his eyes. I almost wanted to glance behind me, to search for another, more attractive woman in the room to explain the expression he wore. He certainly couldn’t be looking at me like that, with barely contained desire. Not me, dressed in my ratty pajamas, my hair in a messy bun on my head, and wearing my glasses, which I wouldn’t be caught dead in outside of my apartment.
“What are you doing?” I asked him, still caught in his gaze. I couldn’t look away from him, couldn’t move out of his arms, even though my brain was practically screaming at me that I was in danger. Not physically, never that, but of having my heart broken into a million, jagged pieces.
“I’m looking at you.”
“Why?”
“I can’t help it,” Evan replied with a shrug. “You’re beautiful, inside and out. It takes my breath away.”
I snorted a laugh, in complete disbelief. “You need to get your eyes checked or something. I’ve never looked worse than I do right this minute, in my glasses and my worst pair of pajamas.”
“I respectfully disagree,” he said, his face still serious, his eyes even more intense than before.
“Is this a joke?” I asked him, starting to feel uncomfortable. What was going on? “Did someone dare you to come here and pretend to find me attractive? Because if so, that’s so messed —.”
“I swear, you’re so contrary you’d float upstream,” he interrupted, and I had no idea what he was talking about. Before I could ask, though, he stepped closer to me. “I’m going to kiss you.”
He searched my face, as if looking for permission, and he must’ve been satisfied with what he saw in my expression. In the next breath, his lips crashed against mine, kissing me like he needed me to breathe, like I meant something to him. I couldn’t do anything but kiss him back with the same intensity.
It was the best feeling in the world: being held by him, being kissed by him. We fit together perfectly, like we were meant to be, and I never wanted it to stop. I wanted to live the rest of my life in that moment, feeling beautiful, and valuable, and worthy. Unfortunately, though, all good things must come to an end. I wasn’t sure if minutes had passed or hours, but eventually, Evan stepped back from me, breathing heavily as he gazed at me. I wanted more, but I couldn’t say that, couldn’t make the first move, so I just stood there, every part of me exposed.
“What was that?” I finally asked, my courage returning to me.
“I believe it’s called a kiss,” Evan quipped.
I made a face at him. “Why?”
“Why is it called a kiss? I’m not sure,” Evan smiled, but he quickly became serious again. “Like I said, you’re beautiful. Every part of you. I couldn’t help myself.”
When I didn’t respond, he spoke again.
“Was that okay?”
I stared at the ground, afraid to make eye contact with him as I answered. “The kiss was amazing. But I’m still mad at you. You told me I needed therapy. And now you’re kissing me? Those are some serious mixed signals.”
“Lots of people are in relationships and go to therapy at the same time,” Evan said. I was completely shocked at his words, my eyes flicking to his.
“A relationship?” I asked. “We’re not in a relationship.”
“We could be,” Evan responded, sliding his hand down until he reached my hand, taking it in his.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I said, finally regaining my common sense and pushing away from him, yanking my hand from his. He was out of his mind. “I’m not having this conversation with you. A relationship? We can barely stand each other!”
He didn’t say anything, but I noticed the slight slump in his shoulders at my words. Determined not to feel bad about what I’d said, I changed the subject, refusing to even consider a relationship with Evan. I had too much baggage, and I still wasn’t convinced this was real. Maybe he was sleepwalking? There had to be some explanation.
“Why are you even here?” I asked him.
“I need to talk to you.”
“I don’t have time right now. I’m packing for my cruise. You’ve already distracted me enough.”
“That’s what I need to talk to you about,” Evan said.
“No,” I said. I poked a finger into his chest in anger, but the shocking hardness underneath his clothes made my blood heat, reminding me of our kiss, and making everything else fade into the background. I quickly pulled my hand back from him like he’d burned me, and then moved my entire body away from him, towards the safety of my suitcase. “I’m not changing my mind about the cruise, Evan. If that’s what you came for, you wasted your time.”
“That’s not what I came for,” he said, surprising me once again.
“Then why did you come?”
“First, I want to apologize about our last conversation, on the phone. I was out of line with the things I said, and I’m sorry for that. I care about you, which is why I said what I did. But I should’ve kept my anger under control, or called you back once I’d calmed down. I’m going to do better from now on.”
I could tell from his eyes that he was truly sorry, and that his apology was genuine, so I did the only thing I could do.
“I forgive you,” I said.
“Thank you,” he responded with relief, letting out a breath that he’d apparently been holding as he waited for my response. “The second thing I want to talk about is a little more complicated. And I hope you don’t get upset. Just remember that this is because your safety is important to me, and to my team.”
“I don’t like the sound of this,” I said, crossing my arms. “Just tell me.”
“Okay,” he sighed. “So, my team and I, with some help, figured out which cruise you’re going on, and three of us will be accompanying you, undercover. And while I’d rather you enjoy the cruise, instead of snooping around, if you do decide to investigate, we’ll be right there with you. We have a map of the entire ship, including the off-limits areas and the camera locations, so we can help you investigate without getting caught—if you insist on doing that, which for the record, I strongly discourage.”
I was speechless, but at the same time, I had a million questions. “How did you get that approved? And why?”
“Well, the how is classified. Like, the ‘if I told you, I’d have to kill you’ type of classified,” he said with a smile. “As for the why, it’s because you need help, and as someone who cares about you, I want to help you. And I have the ability to help you. So I am.”
“And this isn’t a joke?” I asked.
“I promise it’s not a joke. It’s real.”
“And who are the agents going to be? Will you be one of them?” Most of me hoped that he would be one of the agents, but a small part of me was afraid that if I spent that much time with him, I’d end up falling in love with him, and then getting my heart broken. Plus, if Evan was there, I’d be less focused on rescuing the trafficking victims, which had become my sole purpose in life.