The man from the nursery unloads the plants outside Trisha’s place. I shake my head and stalk off, Taylor following me. ‘What’s with you?’ she asks.
‘He’s trying to fix everything! He can’t just swan in with his expensive trees and fix things!’
Taylor starts to laugh. I stop walking. ‘What? What’s funny?’
‘He’s doing what you do! Marching around trying to fix stuff. He probably sat down with a list entitled, What would Stella do? And this was at the top.’ She laughs and laughs. ‘I love that this has pissed you off. It’s like the definition of hypocrisy.’
‘Didn’t know they taught you words with that many syllables at Ascott.’
‘You can bag Ascott all you want, you’re still a hypocrite.’ She pauses. ‘And Ascott did better than Sutherbend in results this year – did you hear?’
‘Rigged,’ I mutter.
‘Anyway. Are you going to make that call again?’
‘What?’
‘Kelly. Are you gunna call her?’
I pull my phone back out. I know if I don’t do it now, I’ll keep putting it off. Maybe forever. I glare at Taylor and then I dial.
‘Hello? Kelly speaking.’
Kelly sounds younger than I thought she would. Younger than Mum. I close my eyes and count to three and then I say the words I’ve been practising, over and over.
My name’s Stella Price. I’m your daughter. Except the words won’t come out. I shove the phone at Taylor. For a moment she looks startled, then she clears her throat. ‘Hello, it’s Taylor Price here.’ She pauses and then smiles slowly. ‘No, you don’t know me. I . . . I’m with . . . your daughter. She’s sitting right in front of me.’
***
After my shift at the pub the next day, Zin texts me, inviting me over for pizza and movies. I slide my phone back into my pocket without replying. I find Mum fiddling with the dials of the electric oven with a frown on her face.
‘Mum,’ I say.
‘Hmm?’
‘Tomorrow. I need . . . you tomorrow.’
Mum raises her eyebrows. ‘You need me? I’m meant to be working. What for?’
‘Well, I’m meeting up with Kelly Russo and I want you to come with me, that’s all.’
‘You’re meeting with Kelly? I thought . . . I thought you weren’t going to do anything about that for now.’
‘I changed my mind.’
‘Well, can you reschedule? Tomorrow’s very short notice.’
‘No. I can’t.’
Mum sighs. ‘Is it local, at least?’
‘Just in Sutherbend Main Street. Ritz Café. At eleven.’
‘Eleven. Okay.’ She prods at the oven again. ‘You’re sure? That this is what you want?’
‘Yeah. I’m sure.’
I go out of the cabin and think about sitting by the river, but what I really want is pizza. My friends. Even if it is a night of eye rolling and concerned expressions. I text Zin back, telling her that I’m on my way. It’s a nice night, with just enough of a breeze to keep me cool as I walk slowly across Sutherbend. The footpath is thick with puddles, and more than once I don’t see one and my foot plunges into the tepid, oily water.
‘Just in time! Pizza just arrived!’ Zin calls as I step into the hallway. Zin’s older brother pokes his nose out of his bedroom. ‘Go away,’ Zin says, waving a hand at him. ‘I’m serious!’
I go into the living room. Lara and Zin give me a pizza-smelling hug, but Clem just smiles and doesn’t get up.
‘Price,’ he says. We haven’t spoken to each other since he delivered all those trees yesterday.
Zin starts opening pizza boxes, offering me each one in turn until I pick up a slice of vegetarian. Lara glances from me to Clem without commenting.
‘What’s been happening?’ Zin asks. ‘How was your Chrissy?’
‘Okay,’ I say. ‘How was yours?’
Zin starts giving me a blow by blow of everything that happened between her brothers and sisters and cousins over Christmas. When she pauses for breath, Clem reaches for another piece of pizza. ‘You’re not carrying the letters around anymore?’ he asks.
‘Well, not in her bra anyway, you perve,’ says Lara.
Clem flushes.
‘Actually, I opened them,’ I say.
‘What’d they say?’ Zin asks breathlessly.
‘She didn’t really put much in them. Not really.’
‘Heavy,’ says Lara.
‘I’m seeing her.’
Zin gasps. ‘When?’
‘Tomorrow. It’s no big deal.’
‘It’s a huge deal! Omigod – are you nervous? I’d be so nervous. Do you want to talk about it?’
I nibble on my pizza.
Zin pounces and lands near my feet. ‘What do you think she’ll be like? Do you reckon you’ll have this, like, instant connection? Or will it be really awkward?’
‘Zin, quiet time,’ says Lara.
Clem looks like he’s going to reach out to me, but then stops himself and clears his throat, reaching for another piece of pizza.
Zin latches onto my arm. ‘It’s just so exciting! Oh, I’m so excited for you, Stella. It’s one of those life-changing moments, you know?’
‘Stop talking,’ says Clem. ‘Can’t you see you’re freaking her out?’
‘I’m not freaked out.’
‘She’s so freaked out,’ Lara says. ‘Way to go, Zin.’
‘I’m not freaked out!’ I say, but a moment later I have to wander out into the backyard and sit on the grass and concentrate on my breathing.
The back door squeaks open. ‘Price? You right?’
‘Yeah. I’ll be in soon.’
I sit out there for a while, though. It’s a nice night, even with the mosquitoes buzzing around my face and legs. When I go back in, the others are halfway through a movie. Lara and Zin are engrossed, but Clem looks up and makes room for me.
‘Feeling better, Price?’ he asks, really quietly. He’s wearing the stupid belt.
I don’t look at him, but I nod and I feel him pat my head, just once.
***
Taylor stays up with me late that night. She lies across the bed, examining the Judy and Charlie photo. I sit cross-legged, a notebook in my lap.
‘Ask her if she can curl her tongue,’ Taylor says. ‘That’s vital.’
‘I’m not asking that. There’s more important stuff.’
‘Ask who your father is.’
‘Alright.’
‘Oh! And ask how she got pregnant.’
‘I can’t ask her that!’
‘Why not? It’s part of your story. It’s your origin story.’
‘What’s an origin story?’
‘Some superhero thing. I dunno – Adam likes them. Anyway, what’s the harm in putting everything you can think of down in a list?’
‘I don’t want to get it wrong, though. What if I ask her the wrong thing? What if I mess everything up before I even know her properly?’
Taylor’s silent for so long I think she’s not going to reply. ‘Just write the list,’ she says eventually. ‘You can’t control any of the other stuff, but you can write down everything about her that’s important to you.’