I take a deep breath, then clear my throat. Biting on the inside of my cheek, I’m finding ways to hesitate. I draw in a longer breath, holding for a second while I worry over his response. “I um…”
Tell him, he’ll understand.
“Please, AJ, not now.”
“Who’s AJ? Is that you?” David pointedly looks toward Dylan.
“Ah, no. This is a bit more complicated. I’m Dylan Walker, Molly’s boyfriend.” Dylan half stands and leans over the table to shake David’s hand.
“I’m Paris, and this is my husband Thomas.” They both shake David’s hand.
He quickly sits again, and jots some notes down on his note pad. “Okay, now that we all know each other, who’s AJ?”
“Can I back track a bit before I tell you about them, please?” I ask.
“Them? Okay, please start where you need to.”
“I’m adopted, and they’re my adoptive parents. But I call them Mom and Dad. This is Dylan, and he’s my boyfriend.”
“Okay. When were you adopted?”
“I was seven. I’m eighteen now.”
“Eleven years ago.”
I nod. “Before that my biological father surrendered me and I was put into foster care.”
“Do you know when you were taken out?”
Again, I nod. “Just before my third birthday. I lived with the same foster family until I was adopted at seven.”
“And what do you remember about them?”
“Oh man, I wasn’t expecting that question.”
“Were they good people?”
“I think so. I don’t recall much from that time.”
“Okay.” He places his pen on the notepad, and sits back. “What do you recall?”
Tell him, or I’m going to have to.
“Shh,” I whisper under my breath. David looks to me, and to Dylan, then to my parents. Wringing my hands together, I fidget under the table, not wanting David to see how nervous I am. My fingers tingle with ice, as my heart beats crazily. My body shakes as I try to form some kind of sentence to tell David. I have to tell him something.
This is it, for all of us, M. You have to tell him.
Neve’s pleading little voice brings tears to my eyes. I close my eyes, hoping to disappear. “There was a boy who came to live with us shortly after I was fostered. He used to…” I pause. My heart is now hammering in my chest. The words are stuck in my throat. Panic cripples me, rendering me powerless.
Only you can do this.
“I’m trying,” I say to Neve.
I know. Don’t give him the power anymore. He’s weak, a monster, a damn coward.
“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
It’s the hardest thing we’ll ever have to do. But if you don’t do it now, we’ll never be free.
What a word. Free.
I feel like I’m going to throw up.
I click my tongue several times, trying everything to delay saying the words. “He used to do things to me.”
And just like that, my skin tingles and I breathe the easiest I’ve ever done before.
“What did he do?”
Opening my eyes, I’m amazed by how much pressure has been lifted. “At first he’d touch me. But it progressed to…more.”
“I’m proud of you, Sweetheart,” Dad says.
“I’m so proud.” Dylan’s hand squeezes my thigh.
“Do you remember much of what happened?” David asks.
“I don’t.”
No, but I do. Let me talk to him.
“I’m not sure, Neve.”
“Who’s Neve?” David looks to me, questioning.
“I thought telling you about him was going to be hard.” I shake my head as I purse my lips together. “Neve is one of my alters.” My shoulders droop as I wait for the disbelief.
David’s face doesn’t falter. Not for a single second. He doesn’t make the face I was expecting. The widening of the eyes, the O mouth, the shaking of the head. None of it. “How many alters do you have?”
“Wait, you believe me?” I ask.
“Early childhood trauma has a huge range of effects. Some people turn to drugs, suicide, they may even go on to be offenders themselves. Dissociative identity disorder isn’t as common, but it’s not unheard of either.”
“You know what I have?” I asked, surprised.
“I’ve done a lot of research, and talked with a lot of therapists about DID. I know what it is, and guess what, Molly?” I shrug. “I believe you. But here’s where it gets tricky. I need as much information as I can get in order to go after this guy.”
“My cousin is a PI, and she tracked him down,” Dylan offers.
David half smiles. “Did she? Wow, I’m impressed.”
“She helping the DA now.”
“Eveline?” David asks. Dylan nods. “Good. Eveline is one of the best DA’s I’ve ever met. She has an amazing team that works with her. And Eveline is a good person to have on your side. I’ll talk to her about you.”
“We’ve already spoken with Eveline,” Mom interrupts.
“You have?” David lifts his brows. “In what way have you spoken with Eveline?”
“Our daughter, our other daughter, Tina,” Dad starts. “She was murdered.”
David places his pen down, and lifts his head to look at us. “I’m sorry for your loss. What happened with Tina? How is Eveline involved and not one of her team?”
I look around to my parent’s blank faces. “No one really knows why she’s handling it herself and not one of her team. But while we were there talking about Tina, and the guy she was involved with who killed her, one of my alters came forward.”
“Okay, let me back-pedal for a moment. Your sister, Tina was killed by her partner?”
“Yeah,” Dad answers.
“Domestic violence. Okay.” He rubs his fingers across his forehead. “And you spoke with Eveline?”
“Yeah. Maybe it has something to do with his parents,” Mom says.
“The person who killed your daughter, what’s his name?”
“Preston Mills,” Mom replies.
David’s mouth falls open, then he quickly closes it. “And that’s why Eveline is involved.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because if she isn’t, his parents will do everything in their power to get him off with a slap on the wrist.” He rubs his hand across the back of his neck. “Now, what can you tell me about the person who abused you?”
“I can’t tell you much. I don’t remember much, just some small things. But Neve can talk to you.”
“Neve is one of your alters?”
“Yeah. I need to ask her if she’ll talk to you.” I’m here and I want to talk to him. “Okay,” I reply to Neve. “She wants to talk.”
“Do you need anything before Neve comes forward?”
“Neve likes to draw,” Mom says.
“I’ll leave the room,” Dad says as he stands. I know Neve doesn’t like men. She struggles with being around them. She’s okay with Dylan, and obviously okay with AJ.