“And there’s no cell reception out here? Really?” I question as I tilt my head to the side.
Dylan smiles. “Damn it, you caught me. There is reception. Actually, it’s really good. I just wanted you to not worry about anything.”
“You could’ve said that. I’m happy to keep my phone off for the next few days.”
“We both will. Here. We can put them in the drawer in the kitchen.” He turns his phone off and drops it into the last drawer of the kitchen. I place mine in there too. It quickly becomes awkward between us. Tension building at a fast rate. “Are you hungry?” he offers.
“Nah, I’m good.” I wipe my sweaty hands down the side of my pants, hoping he doesn’t notice my nervousness. “I might take a shower if that’s okay?”
“Yeah, sure. Look, I’m just going to say it. Don’t think I’ve brought you up here for anything to happen. We’ll take everything slow, Molly. There’s no reason to be nervous, I just want you to relax, and let me take care of you.” He walks toward me, and hugs me, placing a soft kiss to my forehead. Closing my eyes, I take a calming breath.
“Thank you,” I say as I open my eyes. He leans down and places his finger under my chin, lifting my face so I can look at him. With sweet gentleness, he presses his lips against mine. Kissing me, first with tenderness, and care. But I escalate the kiss, wanting more of him. Needing more of him. I slide my hands under his shirt, feeling his taut stomach beneath his clothes. I scrape my nails across his skin, and he grumbles against my lips.
“Dear lord,” he mutters as he picks me up. I wrap my legs around his hips, while he moves us to the sofa. He sits, and I’m straddled across his hips. He rakes his fingers through my hair, and pulls me closer to his body. I can feel his excitement. It’s turning me on, making me crazy for him. I slide his shirt up, over his head, and sit back looking at this beautiful man. “What are you thinking?” he asks as he leans forward to take my mouth with his again.
“How much I want you right now.” Jesus, where did that confidence come from?
“We don’t have to rush.”
“I want to rush. I want this, with you.” I hover over his mouth, teasing him with a promise of what’s to come.
Suddenly, I feel tired. Exhausted.
“Is this where we have sex now? Can we color after?” I take my shirt off, dropping it to the ground.
“Whoa. Wait, Neve?” Dylan asks.
“Yeah. What do you want to do to me? Just sex? More?”
He lifts me off him, and places me next to him on the sofa then stands, grabs his t-shirt and puts it on. “Neve. Um, what are you doing here?”
“We’re going to have sex, right?” I twirl my hair around my fingers. “But can we color after, please?”
“Shit,” Dylan mumbles under his breath. He runs his hands through his hair, clutching at the strands. Shaking his head, he remains quiet.
“We don’t have to color if you don’t want,” I say in a small voice, trying to hide my disappointment.
“Neve, you and I have to have a talk. Can I sit down beside you please?”
I nod my head. He picks my top up, and hands it to me. “Thank you,” I say.
“Neve, I like you.” He sits beside me, but I notice how he’s left room between us. “But I don’t like you the way I like Molly.”
“Okay.”
He looks around the room, and exhales a couple of times. I bite my lip, waiting for him to tell me what he wants to do to me. “Neve, I don’t want to have sex with you.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“God, no! But you’re a child. And I don’t want to have sex with you, or any other child. I love Molly, and I want to be with her, not you.”
“You don’t want me?” I feel my bottom lip quivering as I try my hardest to hold in the tears.
“Not that way, Neve. Not like how I want Molly. I want to color with you, and play games with you, but I don’t ever want to have sex with you. I want you to be a kid, and sex is not for kids.”
“But…”
“No, sweetheart, you’re like Molly’s little sister. And little sisters should never be in the bedroom when adults are having sex. I’m sorry you were exposed to that, and I’m really sorry you had to go through that, but I am not him, and I don’t want you to do those things with me.”
“But you still want to color with me?”
“Of course. I want to go to the amusement park with you, and I want to watch movies with you, and do all kind of fun things. But this level of intimacy isn’t something I want you to ever have to experience again. Do you understand?”
I look away from him and chew on my lip again. “You want to be my friend?”
“Absolutely. But I can never have sex with you.”
“Because I’m a kid? And kids should never have sex?”
“Yes. And because I know you’re here now because you want to protect Molly. But could you maybe try to not protect her when we’re kissing and cuddling?”
“But you want to have sex. I don’t understand.”
“I do, but never with you. Because…”
“I’m a kid,” I say. “Will you still like me even if we don’t have sex?”
“I can’t help but like you, Neve. You’re a very special young lady, who only wants to take care of Molly. But I want to take care of her too, and I want this time to be with Molly. When we’re kissing, and cuddling, and when we’re ready to have sex, I don’t want you in the bed with us. It isn’t a place for kids.”
“I think I understand. But, if you want me in there, will you tell M?”
“I can promise you I’ll never want you in the bed with me. It’s not a place for you. I want you to feel safe knowing I’ll never ask you to do anything like that.”
I look around the room, and smile. “Okay.”
“Do you still want to color?”
I shake my head. “You know what’s funny?”
“What’s funny, Neve?”
“I don’t want to have sex with you either.”
Dylan chuckles. “First, you’re way too young to even think about having sex. And second, good. I’m glad.”
“Can I have a hug, Dylan?” He doesn’t hesitate, he moves in and hugs me close to him. His hands are high up on my back, and his lower body is angled away from me. “Dylan?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I go back to my room now? I’ve got pencils and a new coloring book Kate brought me.”
“Yeah, I think that’s a great idea. And, Neve? Remember, you keep coloring when Molly and I are together in the bedroom.”
“I promise, I’ll stay away.” I close my eyes, and force my way back to my room.
It takes me a few seconds to realize I’m back. “Was it AJ again?” I ask.
“Neve.”
“Neve?” My gut tightens as I worry about why she had to come out. I replay what was happening in my head, and I feel sick to my stomach when I recall what we were doing. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.