Behind his rationalizing tone was something manic. He was half trying to convince himself. I tried kissing the palm of his hand. I only had a couple of options. Continue to struggle and fight and probably end up dead in a ditch somewhere, or sweet talk him and hope for some grace. If I could get him to believe that I loved him and was sorry, maybe he’d untie me. Then it would just be about waiting for an opportunity, and of course hoping I wasn’t in some cliche cabin in the woods, though his not wanting me to scream was evidence enough that I wasn’t.
I kissed his hand again, trying my hardest to soften my eyes. Finally, he pulled his hand back with a gentle smile. “You don’t only have to kiss my hand you know.”
“Then kiss my lips,” I replied.
He obliged, dipping into me and setting his mouth on mine. He pulled away and grinned down at me. “You know, right? That I’m the one who loves you most?”
I nodded. “I know. I didn’t want to break up with you. Once everyone found out, I was afraid. Afraid to lose you.”
Val’s eyes drifted closed as he considered my words. He nodded and I gained some confidence that he was accepting them. “I should have known. You push the things away that you’re afraid of.”
I didn’t like him speaking words about me that had some validity to them. I’d cost Colin and I five years and turned myself into a kidnap victim because of it. “I know. I just thought, if we were going to have to end, I wanted to do it to save myself the pain.”
Val’s eyes, full of hypnotic love, danced over me. “I will never leave you as long as you’ll have me.” He reached down and cupped his hand over the side of my neck, and the second I felt the miniscule unsettling of the necklace I wore there, I knew I’d fucked myself. Val’s pinky hooked the chain and pulled it free of where I’d tucked it into my sweater. “What’s this?”
I had no lies to tell. I’d maintained the entire scope of our relationship that I hated football, it made me think of Colin. I watched his expression shift as he studied the half a football locket and when his eyes came to mine again, they were no longer full of love, but of fury.
“You’re lying.”
“No.” I shook my head. “My parents--”
“You’re lying!” His voice bellowed out in a loud scream. “Did Colin give this to you?” He snatched it from around my neck and it felt like he took Colin with it, like he’d snatched the very skin off my body. His hand took my face into it like the forceful claw of a crab. The force of his fingers were pure pain against my jaw. “You’re mine,” he growled. “You will be mine, or you will be no ones.”
I started to cry again. “Please.” The small strand of Val that I felt like I could reason with had left the building leaving only this monster behind. “Help!” I screamed. “Help me!”
Val reached for something out of sight, but when his hand came back into view, it was a fresh roll of silver duct tape. He unraveled a layer of it, which he ripped off with his teeth like a bear biting into the flesh of a fish, then he slapped it over my mouth and pressed it down so hard it felt like my bones were going to crack. I did my best to scream against the tape, but it was no use, my voice wasn’t louder than a muffle.
“It’s going to be okay, beautiful.” He kissed the part of the duct tape that covered my lips. “You need some time to get around it. Maybe you’re just hungry.” One doesn’t eat and suddenly become comfortable with kidnap. “I’ll go get you some food.”
Val walked out of the room, leaving the door open behind him. I tried pulling at the cords binding me, but it was no use, they weren’t going to give. I could see the objects around the room, taunting me with how trapped I was. The window I could easily climb through, the small, floral table lamp that would probably work well to smash over Val’s head. Everything I saw gave me an idea for defending myself and escaping, if only I could get free, which I couldn’t.
The fight to survive left me bit by bit until there was nothing left. I had backed myself into a very dark, very lonely corner. I left my mind to travel to sweeter places, at least it could escape where I couldn’t. I imagined how lovely the Bahamas might be over the summer. Colin topless in swim trunks, splashing with me through the ocean water. Trying to find some way to sleep in the same room without my parents’ knowledge. Putting the worries of school, and Val, and Colin leaving for college out of our mind and just focus on being together. That would have been nice. Would they still go without me? They’d probably be too sad. It was still several months away, maybe they would go in my honor?
Val re-entered the room after what felt like hours, carrying a plate with a steak and potatoes on it. Only the best for his victims, I supposed? “Sorry that took so long, Tati. I wanted to make you something good, but my mom only had health nut food around.”
Mom? Were we at his mom’s house? Where was she? Was she allowing her son to keep a teenage woman captive against her will? I looked at the bed again. No. I was in her bed. Was she dead? Did he kill her so he could turn her home into a cage for me? I tried not to focus on the idea.
He sat on the edge of the bed and set the plate on the table next to me. The smells wafted into my nose and reminded me that I hadn’t had anything to eat all day. Val laughed at what must have been a tell that I was hungry and ready to eat.
“Okay, okay. Just give me a second to take my jacket off and then I’ll take the tape off, but you’re not going to scream are you?” I shook my head, now starving and staring at the food. He rubbed my head. “Good girl.”
He stood up and turned towards the closet to unzip his jacket and tossed it inside, but when he turned to face me again, his eyes landed on me as dark, hungry irises, and not for food. The sound that gurgled out of him was unfamiliar, like the hunting call of a predator when it zeroed in on its prey.
“I’ve never told you, but I have a thing for tying women up. I thought you were still too young yet, but I was planning to introduce you eventually.” I didn’t like the intentions behind his voice. “I should have known that seeing you tied up would do something to me eventually.” He grabbed the base of his shirt and lifted it over his head and I felt like I was going to puke up the lack of sustenance in my body. “I know you’re hungry, but please just wait a little bit longer.”
He walked across the bedroom back towards the bed and straddled himself over me. What little struggle was left in me came out, twisting my face to keep it from his and pulling at the ropes even though I knew they wouldn’t budge. Val kissed along my neck and over my jaw until he was up to my mouth. He peeled the duct tape back with a crawling sting and forced his lips against mine, pushing his tongue inside without permission. Leeches could have been sucking blood from me and not made me feel so lifeless. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want him. One of his hands broke loose and smoothed it’s way down my torso, over my breasts, across my stomach, and started to climb beneath the hem of my jeans.
I shook my head, tears streaming down my face, and Val lifted his head. “It’s okay, baby. I love you. It’s okay.”
“No,” I whined. “I don’t want to.”
“You’ll love it soon.”