Sam looked at me and puffed out his cheeks before exhaling. “Okay. Okay. This is a weird situation, but you’ve always been weird kids. I’ll stay with you until Austin arrives, and then I’ll pop by tomorrow and we can smooth out the hurdles to this.”
Gaze nodded.
“Hey, Pixie? Can you walk up ahead for a few? I want to have a discussion with Gaze real quick.”
I didn’t know if that was a good idea, but Sam was being very cool about this whole situation. Gaze nodded to me that he was okay, so I walked. When we got to the apartment, Gaze dug into his pocket and pulled out a key.
When we swung open the door, it was quiet and dark.
Gaze padded around, slapping on lights. “He’s not here. Of course. He told me he was seeing a woman regularly, so I bet that’s where he is.”
Sam told us he had to make some calls and stepped into the hall to do it, closing the door behind him. Gaze and I waddled my stuff into his room, because it was a habit, muscle memory to go to that place.
“What did Sam say to you?” I turned to face Gaze and he was blushing. “What?”
“Nothing really. Just know that that cop loves the shit out of you.” He started pushing his clothes to the side in his closet. I turned to face my old apartment. In my window I saw Bic standing, tampons still in his nose. He smiled around the strings and then ran his thumb across his neck. My stomach crawled out of my body and I wanted to scream. Instead, I grabbed the curtain and pulled it across the window. I didn’t want to see him tonight. Or ever again. Or believe his threats.
I was exhausted. Today had been a long, emotional nightmare. I crawled into Gaze’s bed with my pillow.
“I can’t unpack. I’m wiped.” My eyelids were heavy.
Gaze kneeled next to his bed and held out his hand. It was disarming and comforting at the same time seeing his face.
“Sleep then. I have to hang out for Austin, but there’s nothing more you have to do today.” He gave me a tiny smile.
I felt safe for the first time in a long while. Each blink took longer and longer, capturing a snapshot of Gaze watching me fall asleep, holding my hand.
Chapter 46
Gaze
SHE WAS MY Pixie. Hidden in the grown-up she was becoming was the girl that stood under the hydrant rainbow. The girl I fell in love with. I had a heaping dose of guilt for not trying harder to find her. For harboring thoughts of her betrayal when she had to endure Bic all alone.
The front door opened and Sam came back in. He looked as exhausted as Pixie had before she drifted off. I put my index finger to my lips and pointed at her. He nodded once and then hitched his thumb over his shoulder.
As soon as Pixie’s hand was slack and her deep breathing was regular, I covered her with my blanket and snuck out to talk to Sam.
“Is she good?” He was looking around the place, but talking to me.
“Yeah. She’s okay. Austin said he’ll be here in thirty minutes. Mike’s driving him.” I looked at my phone again.
“I meant what I said before.” Sam gave me a hard look.
“Come on, man. You know Bic is an assbag. He’s just…” Again it was Pixie’s story. Not mine to tell. I bit my lip.
“I know. My gut has hated him from day one. But you and your brother have to keep away from her. You can protect her, but she better be a goddamn pristine princess up in here.” He checked his phone.
I ignored his warning. My life was Pixie’s from this point forward. Someone would have to kill me to get to her.
I waited while Sam shot off another text.
“Everything all right?” I was getting some worried vibes from him.
“I’ve got to run. I wanted to hang around and meet your brother, but something’s come up.” He looked from me to the apartment to me again. “My wife’s in labor and I have to go. So I’m trusting you for tonight and I’ll send someone by in the morning to check, but make sure if Bruce comes home that it all goes smooth. Do not let her be involved in anything. Save all your grudges for later. Understand?” He looked at his phone again and frowned. “I gotta go.”
“Hey, congrats. I think you’ll make a great dad.” I meant it. Sam was a good guy as far as I could tell. He’d threatened me like a father should when I was walking with him behind Pixie.
Sam’s mouth pulled up at the corner. “Yeah. Thanks. Scary to think about.”
I shook Sam’s hand to try to make him feel better about leaving Pixie at my place. I sat down in Bruce’s recliner and closed my eyes until my phone buzzed. I went downstairs to open the door for Austin. We hugged and man-slapped each other on the back hard. “Buttercup.”
“Thank you so much for showing up, dude.” I held out a hand for his duffle bag.
Austin looked like he was just jetting in from a foreign country. His hair was in a top knot, a white t-shirt was just ripped enough to look like it wasn’t on purpose—but I knew it was—jeans, and pink basketball shoes matched his flowing scarf.
“Seriously, Mom and Dad could not be happier. They were so concerned.”
We walked up the stairs and I had a bout of self-consciousness. My focus had been Pixie, but now I was realizing what I’d really asked of Austin.
As I got to my door, I hesitated. “Sort of realizing that I’m asking my fairly well-off foster brother to live on the wrong side of town for an extended period of time with my alcoholic father and the slightly kidnapped love of my life.”
His eyes crinkled when he smiled at me. “We’re brothers, not foster brothers. And Burathons never leave a man behind.”
He squeezed my shoulder as I swung open the door. “And this place is fine. Nothing a little creative juices can’t fix.”
Austin walked into the living room.
“Please don’t splash too many of your juices around.” I set his duffle bag down.
“Show me around, Buttercup. I need to know where to start.” He licked his finger and held it in the air like he was checking to see where the wind was going.
After a short tour, leaving out my bedroom for now, Austin pulled out a sleeping bag and pointed to the couch. “That cool for me?”
“For now. Bruce and I will come to an understanding that you and I and Pixie are in charge. And we’ll put you in your own room. Maybe share. We will see what Pixie wants.” I looked toward my door.
“I can’t wait to meet her. She feels like a celebrity for me or something. I’ve heard so much about her.” Austin kicked off his shoes and dropped his jeans. He was wearing bike shorts underneath and slid into his sleeping bag on the couch.
I grabbed a chair from the kitchen and jammed it under the front door’s knob. “I’ll hear him if he tries to get in and I’ll deal with him.”
“I’ve got your back. No worries.” Austin pulled out his phone and texted, then told me, “Mom and Dad love you.”
“Tell them I love them back. And thank you so much for being my adult.” I held out my hand and Austin and I did our handshake, which involved some slaps and a cheesy finger gun.
“Good night. I’m going to sleep near Pixie because she looked a little spooked before she drifted off.” I hit the lights and Austin’s face was illuminated by his cell phone’s screen.