Gaze!
Just his name filled me with hope and worry. He had changed so much. I mean, his eyes were the same and they seemed soft for me, but I knew he had to be angry. I betrayed him.
I walked home, my toes freezing. When I got into my building, I was grateful that I now always had my keys around my neck. Too many times getting locked out by Bic made a person nervous.
Today I had the key to Mrs. Jonas’ apartment. She asked me to water her plants while she visited with her daughter and granddaughter. I’d been using her place for over a month. It was wonderful to hide. My real bedroom didn’t have a door. The bathroom didn’t have a lock. Mrs. Jonas’ lock worked, and I had peace by myself. At times I even sat in the dark. I was very careful to not move anything too much. Bic knew where I was, but as long as he was able to get the monthly check from social security and my mom’s insurance, he didn’t come looking for me. Not anymore. Not right now.
I was in Mrs. Jonas’ place, and after my feet transitioned from tingling to hurting like a fucker, I cracked the window and watched Gaze’s place.
Old Pixie would have stormed the police station. This me waited. Tentative. I didn’t want to draw attention or cause a fuss. I wondered if Mr. Jones was home. Would he bail out Gaze?
This was sort of my fault. For some reason, Ashlin and her crew were drawn to me. They rationalized it by saying I talked too much during middle school, but they were just trying to make an excuse to be assholes.
My freshman year, four of them held me down in the bathroom and cut my hair. One of them even had clippers. And I fought like a son of a bitch, but these girls were strong when they were high on someone else’s pain.
Whatever it was, Gaze was in trouble again because of me. I watched and listened, amazed that I was looking for him again, granted from one floor up.
I wasn’t sure what to do. How to feel. Scared and hopeful.
Gaze.
Gaze
I told the cops what had happened. They believed me because Ms. Freck called in and told them what had happened. I was also not wearing pants. So in this cold, it made sense that I had given my clothes to someone else in need.
The cops took the handcuffs off of me before I sat in the car, which I appreciated. I made sure that my temper had cooled down. They were actually listening to me. I was allowed to call my father, so I called Mike. He had a lawyer to me before I even needed one. The cops were already waiting to see what the laughing kid—Roe—was going to do—press charges or not—but it turned out he had a few brushes with the police before and wasn’t interested in coming down. He was okay and didn’t have a concussion, which was surprising. I thought for sure he would have something going on, but he was okay.
I knocked him right the hell out. When Mike arrived, the lawyer was finishing up his paperwork. No charges were filed, and the cops told me not to do it again, but I heard one mutter, “Unless it’s happening to my daughter, then let it fly.”
I was not in nearly as much trouble as I thought I would have been. There would still be repercussions at school. Mike and I hugged hard when he saw me. He stepped aside and Austin gave me a hug, too.
“Bud? What happened? You’ve been gone two days?”
“I’m sorry. I just… A bunch of people played a prank on a girl and I gave her my clothes, and then I punched a dude for laughing. ’Cause I couldn’t smack the girl who masterminded it.” I ran my hands through my hair, then I noticed Austin holding out his fist to bump.
Mike squeezed my shoulder and then stood, hugging my head. I tossed my arm around his waist. “Proud of you, Gaze. As always. Let me talk to a few of the people around here and see if I know any of them.”
Austin moved closer to me. He was wearing a geometric sweater and black pants with zippers all over them.
“How’s Ronna? How are Teddi and Milt and Rocket?” It felt like a lifetime since I’d laid eyes on them.
“We’re a mess. Maybe you could have been more of an asshole and we wouldn’t have missed you so much.”
“That must be what I’m working on here then.”
“Seriously. In the clink in under three days. That has to be a record. We didn’t tell Mom you were in jail. We just said you needed some stuff, because honestly, she would’ve lost it.” He pointed at my boxers. “New look?”
“Yeah. Pixie needed them more than I did. Freaking classic bullshit, stealing her clothes while she had PE class.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose.
“Okay. Yeah. Let me check something.” He pulled up his social media and did a few clicks. “Yup. Here it is. Poor little sweetheart. Oh, here you are. Jumping the crowd. Oh, Buttercup. Look at you giving her your clothes. Oh, shit. This is trending. It’s gonna be viral.”
He handed me his phone and I watched as I helped Pixie into my pants. “Crap.”
A quick scroll down gave me a peek at what people were saying. The guys were mostly commenting on her body, which was expected, but still made me furious. And the girls were commenting that they were swooning about me.
I handed his phone back.
“Let me go to the van and see if I have any pants for you.” Austin ruffled my hair as I tried to figure out what to do.
I felt sad for Pixie. Her body was on display for the whole goddamn world. Stupid kid I punched had plenty of evidence that I was for sure the one that punched him. The audio was garbled, considering the things that were said.
Austin came back in with a pair of jeans. “I think these are dad’s? But they are clean and should fit.”
I took them, removed my shoes, and put on the pants. The cops were being very liberal with me. I was just sitting on a bench in the station. Soon after I had the pants on, Mike was back. “They’re going to take you back to your building, Gaze.”
Austin stood up. “We can’t drive him?”
Mike shook his head, obviously disappointed. “Not today, son. Bruce has put a restraining order on your mother and me, so we have to say goodbye and move on.”
I hugged them both. “Bruce is really, really trying me right now.”
“Just keep being you and stand up for that girl. She needs you.” Austin gave me an air kiss on the cheek.
An officer came by and dangled his keys in my direction. “Time to go home and face the music, I guess.”
I didn’t get the sense he was trying to give me the business, more that he was trying to be polite in an awkward situation.
Mike offered some parting words, “Talk to no one without a lawyer. He’ll be by your place tomorrow to firm things up.”
“Will this affect my scholarship chances?” I would do what I did again, no matter the consequences.
“We’ll worry about that later. Love you.” Mike jammed his hands into his jeans pockets.
“Same.”
We had to go our separate ways, and I felt like the bandage was getting yanked off the wound all over again.
The cop opened the passenger door of his cruiser and I slid in. It was nice of him not to put me in the back. He drove me home without much conversation, which was fine with me.
After we pulled up to my building, he offered, “Hey. Stay out of trouble.”
It was half-hearted, but I appreciated the sentiment. “Yeah. Thanks.”
The neighborhood kids were hanging around, trying to get a sense of what was happening. I ignored my front door and went straight to Pixie’s. I had something else I needed to do before I dealt with Bruce.