After seeing the images, I was thrilled. We looked so in love. You could see it all. The way we grew up. The bond between us was beyond all the normal things teenagers worried about.
I thanked Austin and hugged him, even though I’d see him in just a few. Gaze had a few more stops on our DIY prom, so we wished Austin well.
“Hungry for some dessert?” Gaze put his hand on my lower back. I stilled, just warmth from his hands. I didn’t tell him that I was scared his touch would remind me of the things I hated to remember. But not yet. Not tonight. So we continued. The past was buried tonight. We strolled to our favorite Creamsicle dealer and Gaze got us each a pop just before he closed down for the night.
“There is literally nothing better than this on a hot day.” We toasted the Creamsicles. We had to pause to thank random passersby for the compliments on our outfits. Gaze grinned at me proudly every time someone told me I looked beautiful. It was perfect. But the humidity was picking up now that the breeze was breaking down.
I heard the telltale laughter echoing off the buildings and I knew. This time I took charge of the date and pulled Gaze behind me after we tossed out our popsicle sticks.
“How about some fireworks?” I pointed at the fire hydrant shooting crystal clear water into the air as the kids ran through it. Friday night had a different feel around the neighborhood, even when we were kids. There was a joy in it. The kids were up late, but still allowed to play. I twirled under the spray, feeling a little guilty that Austin’s hard work was getting destroyed, until Gaze took off his jacket and joined me. He picked me up in his arms and spun. I held the edge of my dress so all the kids around us would get sprayed like a sprinkler from my wet train. Gaze stepped out of the water to let us catch our breath and let me stand on my feet. One of the kids in the crowd had a bubble gun and added the detail to the atmoshere.
I touched Gaze’s jaw with my fingertip and then outlined his smiling lips. “No one has ever had a better prom than us.”
We kissed again, water streaming from our formal wear, I tilted my head back when we were done, and despite the city lights, I could almost see the stars.
Chapter 67
Pixie Rae
THE BEST PART about prom was it was the beginning of the end. The senior rites of passage collided with final tests and traditions that made things move quicker for us. Seniors finished school in May, and at the beginning of June was Gaze’s and my matching birthdays. What it meant was the teachers were more lax. They were closing out the books on us earlier, which meant that if you finished everything you got to skip some classes. Even if you were just sitting in the classrooms on your phone, you were getting credit for being there.
When Gaze and I got back to school, the place was buzzing. Apparently, all anyone wanted to talk about were the incredible pictures that Austin had taken of Gaze and me on our prom night. He was even in talks with a few magazines and websites that wanted to hire him for jobs. He already had a huge Instagram following, but this was beyond. Gaze and I were even getting recognized as the “love” couple in the streets. Ashlin was pissed beyond words. She had been voted prom queen and Mark was voted king, but apparently, everyone was busy looking at their phones during the announcements at Austin’s Instagram. Local teens’ impromptu prom pictures go viral and were actually on Buzzfeed.
I wasn’t sure if taking away my presence at prom had done it, or the fact that Gaze and I were clearly together and happy, but Ashlin seemed to back off.
Gaze and the coach had to do a little planning about the colleges offering him scholarships. They were looping Mike and Ronna in via Austin’s phone as a way to bypass the restraining order that Bruce had filed, even though he seemed to have no intention of enforcing it. But he was always around and people in the neighborhood would talk all the time. Any strange cars or people might make their way back to Bruce. It was only a month more before Gaze and I celebrated our birthday week. And when we were eighteen? Then the restraining order didn’t matter anymore because Gaze would be considered an adult.
I was headed home by myself, a rarity, when I was stopped in my tracks by Bic. He loomed over me, his shadow mixing with mine on the sidewalk before I saw him.
“I’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks, Pixie.” He grabbed my upper arm, but didn’t squeeze.
His voice and touch paralyzed me. Silenced my voice. All I could do was look up to his eyes in dread. “I’ve been telling Dreama that I needed to get ahold of you.”
I didn’t breathe. I could feel my veins getting wider as they tried to accommodate all the blood rushing to my head. My disappearing reflex was trying to kick in. My go-somewhere-else-defense here in the street. “I’ve got some of your mom’s stuff upstairs, and I need to show it to you before I throw it out.” He dropped his hand.
Mom’s stuff. The perfect carrot to dangle in front of me. I was missing her. He knew I was always missing her. Made fun of me whenever he saw me cry over something that was hers back before Gaze came home.
I shook my head no. Just a small movement, but a victory nonetheless. I did it again. No.
As much as I wanted my mom’s stuff, I was never going to be under this man’s control again. My throat was dry. I watched his big slug-like tongue roll around in his mouth, curl around my name, order me around, again.
“No.” My voice was outside of my head, outside of my heart. “No.” It wasn’t loud enough for how much rage was behind it. How it boiled in my heart. I didn’t want to be this man’s prey, his toy anymore.
His voice was friendly, but he didn’t mean it. It was his outside voice, for when people could be watching. The jovial Bic. The friendly Bic. His eyes were hard, like an angry statue. “Okay, fine. No problem. You don’t want her stuff? No worries. I’ll pitch it. But I think you need to know something. And I was going to tell you upstairs…” He made a step toward me, arm extended, waving his other hand toward the front door of my old building.
I stepped backward, my paralyzed feet somehow learning a new trick when I needed them. In their defense, I had to force all my reflexes and actions to still back then. To stay alive back then.
His cologne hit me as the breeze came behind him. I felt my soul curling small, wishing herself away.
“No.” Louder this time. A bit of an edge.
I ran both my hands through my hair. I was getting ready to make a scene. I was getting ready to finally let that fight impulse have her head.
“Your mom made me promise to give you a present this year. In her will, it was a thing she did from when you were little. I’ve got the envelope in your old room. Just come on up and I’ll give it to you.”
My chest was tightening. I could not stand this any longer. I wanted out. Out. Away from him. I stepped to the side. It was broad daylight and the streets were busy enough that he couldn’t grab me. If I could overcome my terror. If I could make things happen. Unfreeze. Run.
I could do it. I could.
And then I was off. Each breath freeing my lungs a little more. Each pump of my legs took me closer to my freedom. From him.
Bic didn’t get to live in my head forever, and he didn’t get access to me anymore. I was mine. Hitting the front door, I took off up the stairs. I didn’t glance back. It wasn’t as much fear as it was determination. He wanted me to do one thing and I was going to do the exact opposite. By the time I got to Gaze’s place, I had the key in my hand. My fingers were shaking a little, but the key slid in. I could hear Bic lumbering up the stairwell behind me, maybe a floor down. He was faster than I imagined he’d be, but still far enough away that I felt confident.