I swung the door open and slammed it shut behind me, slapping all the locks shut. Still, my heart was beating, pounding. After grabbing a steak knife from the drawer, I watched the door. In my head Bic was the largest monster, but knocking down a door seemed like it’d be hard. Really hard. But if he was able to complete that feat of strength, I’d be ready.
I waited and waited, tempted to glance through the peephole, but instead, I listened. The heavy footfalls I was waiting for never came. After about ten minutes I did look, and the outside of the door was empty. No one was following me. I kept the knife, but walked back into Gaze’s room. I eyed the window and went over to it, sliding it open a few inches slowly, but still hiding behind the curtain.
These buildings were so close, sometimes you could hear complete conversations. I took some steadying breaths. In and out. I was here. I was mine. I would be safe.
The visceral reaction to Bic’s voice still got me, even though I knew now he was back in my old apartment.
His deep mumble washed across the space between. Then I picked up Dreama’s grating voice. “Where is she? You saw her, right? She’s supposed to be here.”
Bic frustratedly lashed out, “Do you fucking see her? No. She ran away. I couldn’t throw her over my shoulder in the middle of the street, Dreama. That’s not how real life works.”
Dreama had an argument still. ”Please. She’s your kid. You could just tell them you’re disciplining her. Everyone would mind their own business.”
Bic’s voice was booming more now. I gripped the knife tighter, hearing his anger. “Not Pixie. She’s everyone’s fucking favorite.”
“Wait, I thought she was getting bullied in school and stuff? At least that’s what some of my girlfriends were saying. She’s been a huge slut since she left. Has that good-looking kid as her boyfriend now and—”
Dreama’s speech was cut off abruptly.
“What did you say?”
I inched closer and moved the curtain out of the way so I could see inside. Where I was hidden in the dark, they were shuffling into my old room. Well, Bic was shuffling, but Dreama was opening and closing her mouth with Bic’s hand around her neck.
Before I was done registering the violence I had just witnessed, he dropped her to her feet. “Keep your fucking dick sucker shut, Dreama.”
Bic was acting possessive over my name and how Dreama talked about me. It made me so viciously sick at once I had to hold my stomach.
“I know we need her to move back in. We need proof of residency by Monday or all the checks stop rolling in. And if we’re ever going to get any of that money her mom set aside…”
Dreama seemed eager to please him again. “We need it. You need it. You deserve it. You raised that little girl all by yourself. No one helped. You earned that money.”
I lifted my eyebrows in bewilderment. Bic had not raised me. I raised myself. He abused me. He didn’t get to profit from knowing me. From hoodwinking my mother into marrying him.
“Don’t tell me what I already know. If I don’t get Ratsy his money soon, I won’t have a mouth to complain with anymore.”
It figured. It figured so much. He was in debt to Ratsy, the worst guy in the neighborhood. And there was still an issue with him getting my mother’s checks.
“Well, we get her in here and we lock the damn door. That’s what we have to do.” Dreama rubbed Bic’s shoulders.
I felt even queasier watching them. I let the curtain fall and slowly moved the window into position. Just then the front door opened. Gaze and Austin were back.
“Hey, Pix! We brought sandwiches for dinner. Where are you?”
I slid the knife under the mattress in Gaze’s room. I had to hear how it’d gone for Gaze. And I understood that telling him what Bic had been saying would enrage him. So much so, he might not do what he needed to do to get the scholarships.
Chapter 68
Gaze
THE DREAM WAS coming true. Two colleges were excited to have me play for them, and I was getting offered full rides. Which was amazing. One college was about forty minutes away from the Burathons, and the other was about four hours away. I spoke to Mike and Ronna through Austin’s phone and they offered to have Pixie stay with them before I could even ask. I saw Teddi get all excited in the background of the thought of another girl coming to the household.
I wasn’t sure what Pixie’s plan was for the future, but I just needed her next to me. As I walked into the apartment, and Austin came behind me, I felt a shift in the energy of the space. Something was off. I immediately went looking for Pixie, who was sitting on my bed, looking pale, but happy to see me. She held out her hand and pulled me down to my bed.
“Tell me everything.”
Austin wound up bringing in the sandwiches and we all ate on my floor like it was a picnic.
“So you have to go visit the schools, right? To see which one you like best?” She took a sip of her bottled water. I could almost detect some hesitancy.
“Well, we have to go, and yeah, this weekend. They’re really pushing it, but Coach is saying that they’re trying to prevent anyone else from snatching me up.” I shrugged but couldn’t really play off my excitement. This was huge.
Pixie set her sandwich down and hugged me and then Austin. “You guys did great tonight. That’s so awesome,” she said.
There was a part of her sincerity that I could almost see through. “We’re going to make it so you can come, too. Even if you’re living with me. That’s the deal I want. And I might be in a position to ask for it.”
Austin caught my eye and scratched his neck. He wasn’t so sure that was the case. I was determined, though. Even if the college representatives tried to steer me away from talking about Pixie. One even had the gall to tell me that teenage romance hardly ever lasted. They didn’t know how it was with Pixie and me.
“When do you leave? Can Mike and Ronna come?” Pixie picked up her sandwich and took a small nibble.
“Well, Friday during the day. We can be back by nighttime. Ronna and Mike can’t come, and I need to have an adult representative with me because I’m seventeen. Austin said he’d come. So we will leave then. When do you want to pack your bag?” I leaned toward her and moved her hair behind her ear.
She leaned into my hand and closed her eyes briefly. “I have to stay here. I have a few things I want to look into about colleges and stuff. I think I need to get out of this city, you know?”
Austin grabbed our plates and excused himself. We’d talked on the way home about how we’d be approach Pixie. I wasn’t sure it needed to happen tonight because I had no real plan other than we were not separating. That was the only reality I’d accept.
“Aren’t you going to come with me? I mean, right?” I touched her arm and rubbed her soft skin. She covered my hand with hers.
“Yeah. Of course. I’ll be where you are. I’m going to look into both of those places and see if it’s too late to apply for a scholarship or something. My lack of income must fall in a good zone for getting some help. You and Austin go to see the schools, make a choice, and then let me know where we’re headed when you get back.” She smiled at me and touched my hand.