‘Who … who else knows – apart from you and me?’ My words were as sharp as knife points.
‘No one,’ said Misty, dropping her gaze.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
‘I can’t … I can’t deal with this right now.’ Slinging my rucksack over my shoulder, I headed for the door.
‘Thanks for nothing, Tobey,’ Misty called after me. ‘I don’t know what was going on between you and Callie, but, whatever it was, you used me and now I’ve been caught in the crossfire.’
Though her words made me start, I left the room without looking back. My heart was still trying to drill its way out of my chest. Control over my life was whirling like confetti in the wind.
Callie …
Oh God! What would Callie do when she found out?
I remember when I was seven or eight Mum told me about split-aparts. Some Jurassic philosopher or other reckoned that each person only had half a soul, having been split apart from its other half for some reason or other that I can’t recall. This philosopher reckoned each person spent their life searching for their other half, not feeling truly whole till they’d found the person who possessed it. Some people settled for ‘close enough’, unable or unwilling to keep searching till they found their true other half.
‘Don’t ever settle, Tobey,’ said Mum. ‘Find someone who has the same values, the same principles, the same interests. Someone who will treat your heart right. Even if you have to wait a long time, don’t settle. Believe me, it’ll be worth it.’
I didn’t have to settle. I didn’t have to search. When Mum told me that story, it was like cogs clicking into place in my head. Right then and there, I knew who was my split-apart. She was living next door and her name was Callie Rose. Never doubted it for a second; never said anything to anyone about it. As if! But I knew.
And now Misty was a grenade between us.
Misty was pregnant – and she was actually making noises about keeping it. Think. I needed to think.
What was I going to do?
forty-four. Callie
* * *
It’s been a while now since Tobey and I last spoke, but it’s not just me he’s singling out for the silent treatment. As far as I can see, Tobey’s not talking to anyone. Not even his best mates Connor and Tauren, who’d just come back to school after having his appendix removed. Tobey came to lessons, head down, talking to no one, then disappeared at break and lunch. At first I thought he was spending time with Misty, but I soon realized I’d got that one wrong. She hung around with her friends, not Tobey. Misty had obviously told Tobey her news, but as far as I could tell she hadn’t told anyone else. If she had, it would’ve been the talk of the whole school.
What was Misty going to do? Keep it? Have an abortion? Put her child … their child, up for adoption? Why did I even care? Misty wasn’t my concern. But Tobey was.
Where is he? What’s he doing?
I was worried about him. There! I’d admitted it to myself.
The lunch break had started, I was in the common room and Tobey had pulled his disappearing act again. Was he scared? Feeling alone? Well, I wasn’t about to abandon him.
I needed him to know I was still his friend – if nothing else.
‘Sammi, I don’t suppose you’ve seen Tobey recently, have you?’ I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
Sammi’s eyes narrowed. She wasn’t buying my act for a second. ‘Last I saw he was hiding away again in practice room three, where he always goes at lunchtime.’
I frowned. Why was Tobey in the piano practice room? He wouldn’t know middle C from the Sea of Tranquillity. I sprang up and headed off. Was he OK?
‘Where’re you going?’ Sammi called after me.
‘I’ll see you later,’ I replied. And I was out the door.
forty-five. Tobey
* * *
My head was splitting. I’d had a constant headache for the last few days and, no matter how many painkillers I popped, nothing was shifting it. Just one of the reasons why I wasn’t in the food hall or the sixth-form common room. Any kind of noise went through my head like a giant spike.
So here I was in the music practice room – just a piano I couldn’t play and me. The practice room was tiny, a shoebox containing a full-size digital keyboard and two piano stools. A shelf on the adjacent wall held sheet music and a few piano practice books. This had become my bolthole during school breaks. And this would be where I stayed until lunchtime was over. I didn’t want to see anyone, speak to anyone, look at anyone.
My life was a mess. I didn’t need to see the confirmation of that in the eyes of every person who looked at me. Everyone knew I’d slept with Misty. No one but Misty and me knew about the consequences. But, if Misty had her way, they soon would. Even if she said nothing, her abdomen would soon be talking for her. My life was already a gossip cake that everyone in the school was snacking on. When word got out about Misty’s pregnancy, my life wouldn’t be worth living. Frustrated, I slammed my fists down on the keys before me. I’d been doing that a lot over the last few days, playing how I felt.
The door opened. I turned, ready to tell whoever it was to sod off. The words died in my mouth. Callie. She entered the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
‘Tobey, can I talk to you?’
I shrugged, not trusting myself to speak. Swinging my legs round, I turned to face her. No doubt she was going to tear into me for sleeping with Misty. Call me out for the mess I’d made. Yet Callie didn’t know the half of it. Didn’t she realize she couldn’t slap me with a single negative label that I hadn’t already applied to myself? Straightening my shoulders, I braced myself for the onslaught.
‘How’re you doing?’ she asked.
Oh, so we were playing that game, were we? Callie was assuming the role of Lady Magnanimous. And me? What was my role supposed to be? Serf Grateful?
I shrugged again. ‘I’ve been better.’
‘Aren’t you hungry? You’re missing lunch.’
‘Couldn’t eat a thing.’
Callie nibbled on the corner of her bottom lip, a sure if surprising sign that she was nervous.
‘I’ve got some biscuits in my pocket. Want one?’ she asked.
I shook my head.
‘I don’t mind getting you a drink if you fancy one.’
I shook my head again.
How many more trivialities was she going to throw at me? I ran my hand over my hair, unsure how much more of this small talk I could take.
‘You still taking your exams next term?’ asked Callie.
I frowned. ‘Of course. I’m still going to uni to study law.’
Callie and I had applied to study law at the same university. We’d spoken of sharing a flat or a house at some point, maybe after the first year. The same subject in the same university in the same town in the same world in the same lifetime. That had been the dream.
Callie cleared her throat. ‘I just wanted you to know that … that I know about Misty being pregnant.’
No! Mayday! Mayday …
My heart plummeted down, down, down, out of my body towards the centre of the earth, taking the last remnants of the hope I had left with it. The moment I’d been dreading had arrived. How had she found out? Misty said …